Customer: “My phone doesn’t work. It has dial sound only!”

Me: “Okay, what I need you to do is to reset your phone by disconnecting it from the power and try the main phone connection.”

Customer: “No, I don’t have time to do that. You have to send out a serviceman and fix this now!”

Me: “Yes, of course we can do that. However, if the serviceman discovers that the problem is related to your phone or cables, you will have to pay for the service which is 1875NOK (around $290 USD).”

Customer: “What did you say that I had to do first?”

This story is part of our Lazy Customers roundup!

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Me: “What can I help you with today, sir?”

Customer: “Well, for starters, you can talk to that girl at the front desk. She made me fill out so much paperwork!”

Me: “I’m sorry. She must have been mistaken. Can you show me the forms you were asked to complete?”

Customer: “No. I don’t have them.”

Me: *confused* “Where are they?”

(The man proceeds to lead me to the front desk and gestures at the sign-in sheet where visitors are asked to write their name and zip code.)

Customer: “This! She made me write all this!”

This story is part of our Lazy Customers roundup!

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(A customer comes in with four boxes of our crystal product. They are all broken and foggy.)

Me: “Oh, no, what happened to these?”

Customer: “I just tried cleaning them and they all broke!”

Me: “How did you clean these?”

Customer: “I put them in my dishwasher, of course!”

Me: “Ma’am, these are very delicate crystal figurines. They shouldn’t even be put in water.”

Customer: “Oh, please! Like I’m going to bother cleaning them myself!”

This story is part of our Extra-Stupid-Customers roundup!

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Customer: “How do I send a picture from my phone?”

Me:  “I can definitely help out. Is the picture in your inbox or in your images?”

Customer: “Images.”

Me: “Great. Highlight the image you want to send, press the Options key, and select Send as MMS.”

Customer: “Why the h*** do I have to do all the work?”

This story is part of our Lazy Customers roundup!

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Customer: “Excuse me, how do I get out?”

Me: “The door is right over there, ma’am.”

Customer: “Yes, but it’s not opening.”

Me: “It isn’t an automatic door.”

Customer: “So, how do I get out?”