I am working for an agency as a temp receptionist and admin, often only staying at each company for a week or so.

One Sunday I get home to discover that my passenger door of my car has a massive dent in it, right across both panels, looking like someone turned too early reversing out of a space next to me. This is around February and I don’t often have passengers, so I haven’t seen this side of the car in the light for well over a week and have no idea when it might have happened. I’ve been working at a couple of places, so I don’t even know where.

I take the car to a couple of garages for quotes, and it’s going to be over £800 to fix. Bearing in mind I am 23 and have been working agency for a week here and a week there for several months, this is money I don’t have. My insurance excess is £500, so I decide I’ll give them a call to find out whether it would be better to make a claim or whether the impact in future would make it a bad idea.

I ring up the insurance company and get a lovely young man on the phone who assures me that as it isn’t my fault, that if I make a claim it won’t affect my premiums, and even better, that I won’t have to pay the excess for the same reason, and that he can arrange for me to have a free hire car while mine is in the garage. This is a heck of a lot better than I expected, so of course I say sure, let’s go ahead and claim, then.

He goes ahead and puts in a claim, and says that their estimator will come out to look at it and the hire car company will contact me within a couple of hours to arrange for the courtesy car.

An hour later, the hire car company rings as promised. We get through the basic name, address, etc., and then they ask for the details of the other driver. I don’t know who did it, I reply, and suddenly they clam up, saying they can’t provide a car and that the insurance company will ring me.

Sure enough, the phone rings to a different insurance agent informing me that as I don’t know who did it I’ll have to pay the excess myself, I can’t get a hire car, and my premiums will go up massively because they can’t claim against the other person’s insurance.

I am in tears at this point trying to explain that I rang to ask all of this and only put the claim in because I was assured it wouldn’t have an impact. I ask them to put the claim on hold as I’m informed they can’t remove it.

Eventually, I get my wits together and put in an official complaint, asking them to listen to the previous call, given they are flat out denying I was told what I was.

The result is them having to honour their first employees words. I get a hire car for two weeks, the work is done through my normal garage as I trust them, I don’t have to pay the excess, and it won’t impact my premiums.

Well, I say that… I have to ring and fight them again to collect the car when the garage hasn’t been paid the excess. Then, come my renewal date, I have to fight again, including another complaint, after they remove my no-fault claims and put my premium up. But in the end, that employee, who I assume was new and just misunderstood no-fault claims, probably cost the company close to £2000 between the repairs and the car hire, etc.

(We have one coworker at the theater who is a deadweight. He always comes in late and does very little work. I’m in the lobby when I notice one of the auditoriums is letting out.)

Me: *to the manager* “Hey, I’m going to go clean the auditorium.”

Manager: “Okay, then. Hey, [Coworker]! You go in and help him.

Me: *under my breath* “G**d*** it!”

(We both go into the auditorium, and instead of picking up trash or sweeping, my coworker just follows me around making farting noises.)

Coworker: *makes a farting sound* “Ew, [My Name]! You’re nasty.”

Me: “Really? You’re doing this? How old are you? Twenty or ten?”

Coworker: “What are you talking about? I’m not doing anything.” *makes another farting sound* “Dude! What did you eat?”

Me: *sigh*

(This goes on the entire time. I finally get done with the auditorium, and then I go up to the manager.)

Me: “The next time you want to send [Coworker] to help me clean auditoriums, please do me a favor and don’t.”

(He eventually left to work at a grocery store around the corner. I heard he only lasted a couple of months.)

(Every grocery store has problems with things being put or left in the wrong place, and not just because of the customers. A coworker has brought some items up to the front desk, where I am working, so they can be returned to the right spot.)

Coworker: “You’ll never guess where I found those. They were shoved behind a box of chips down .”

Me: “You think that’s bad, I’ve found—”

Coworker: “I’ve found an open box of condoms down [same wrong aisle] before.”

Me: “Wow, that beats what I was going to say. I’ve found eaten chicken wings in that aisle. Someone’s been throwing the bones behind the stuff on the shelves.”

Coworker: “Yeah, I’ve seen that, too.”

(After that we go back to our separate jobs, until this happens a couple hours later. I walk up to my coworker, who is stocking shelves.)

Me: “Okay, I can beat it now.”

Coworker: “What?”

Me: “I just had to clean up blood from the bottom of the food bank bin.”

Coworker: “WHAT?!”

(Apparently, some leaking meat had mistakenly been placed in the food bank bin instead of being taken back to the meat department. When this was noticed, the meat was removed and disposed of, and the bin taken to the back for cleaning… and then eventually returned to the front without ever being cleaned. The bin was then left there for two days, until I decided to look for the source of the terrible smell. This was definitely the worst incorrectly-placed item I’ve ever had to deal with.)

(A customer sends over his savings account ledger through the carrier at the bank’s drive-thru. I have to rifle through it to figure out what he wants, and find a $100 bill between the pages. I start to put it back when I see a second bill between two other pages. I hesitate, because between his car and my window is an oversized diesel pickup truck that is extremely loud. In addition, it’s been a very windy day, and it’s been difficult to hear customers all day as the wind blows across the microphones.)

Me: “Good afternoon, sir. Welcome to [Bank]. How can I help you today?”

Customer: *noise noise noise* “—deposit—” *noise* “—two hundred—” *noise* “—savings.”

Me: “Absolutely! I’ll have your receipt for you in one moment.”

(I deposit his cash, put the receipt in his book, and send it back. Seconds later, he rings the buzzer. Thankfully, the truck is gone now and I can hear him better.)

Me: “Hi. How can I help you?”

Customer: *angry* “I TOLD YOU TO DEPOSIT TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS!”

Me: *double-checks my work* “Yes, that’s what I did.”

Customer: *lifting the account ledger* “Then WHY DOES IT STILL SAY $1235?”

Me: “Oh, I didn’t update your book for you; do you need the updated balance?”

Customer: “NO! I NEED YOU TO DO YOUR F****** JOB AND WRITE IT DOWN!”

(It’s NOT my job to write it down. Bookkeepers make a lot more money than I do! But I will write it down for customers who ask. I am not going to argue with him.)

Me: “Okay. Send it back; I’ll be happy to write it down for you.”

(He sends his ledger back through the carrier. I update the balance on the next line and write the date, and send it back to him. A couple seconds later, he rings the buzzer again.)

Customer: “YOU DID IT WRONG!”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “You didn’t write $200! You’re supposed to write that I deposited $200!”

Me: “Sir, perhaps if you’re that particular about how your book is kept, you should be writing it yourself.”

(I’m hiring for a new position on my team. The salary is very attractive, as it’s a specialised role. I’ve offered to meet anyone who has any questions about the role before they apply. The meetings are informal, but I am shocked by just how informal some people are.)

Me: “So, do you have any questions about the role or the responsibilities?”

Applicant #1: “Well, could you start by talking me through the role? I haven’t read the job description yet; I just saw the salary and decided to apply.”

Applicant #2: “I don’t have any questions about the job, because I don’t care what I do. I just saw it’s Monday through Friday only; is that right?”

Applicant #3: “Would I ever need to travel to [Site #2 about one hour away]?”

Me: “More than likely, as the team there will be part of our core users. You’d probably need to be there once a week at least, but your expenses will be covered.”

Applicant #3: “Hm, is that negotiable? I don’t have time to be driving to the site.”

Applicant #4: “Will I be busy all day, or will I have downtime?”

Me: “Uh, well, the workload isn’t unmanageable but there will be enough work to fill your entire day, every day.”

Applicant #4: “Do you ever have quiet periods, like the way sales aren’t busy after Christmas?”

Me: “No, our workload stays consistent throughout the year.”

Applicant #4: “Oh, I was really hoping I’d have some downtime during the day.”