(I’m a manager at a chain restaurant and one of my responsibilities is interviewing potential employees for a job. I like to ask people why those chose to apply for us instead of our competitors, because we hold ourselves to a higher standard and want employees who actually want to work for our company specifically, not just a job for money. This happens when I ask that question.)

Me: “So,why did you choose to apply specifically to us? Our competition down the street is also hiring, but you chose us. Why’s that?”

Candidate: “Well, when I think of them, they always be busy and stuff. But when I think of y’all, I don’t think y’all get busy. And I’m trying to get a job where I don’t have to work so hard.”

(She did not get the job.)

(I work as a customer service rep for an online retailer. It is a marketplace, so our products are sold by third parties. A customer calls in for an ongoing support ticket, and I pull it up by the phone number.)

Me: “Hello. How may I help you?”

Customer: “I ordered four rolls of shelf liner but only got one. I was waiting to hear from the girl I spoke to earlier and have not heard back.”

Me: “I see that agent emailed you with an update from the seller. The seller had said the four rolls were packed together for shipping.”

Customer: “I just got one roll!”

Me: “I see one of the rolls was 24 inches wide and the other three were 12 inches wide. Is the roll you received 24 inches?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Have you had the chance to open it to see if the other rolls were included as the seller said?”

Customer: “No! That is ridiculous. It is such a pain to open. It will mess up the integrity of the roll. I opened just the ends.”

Me: “I apologize that it’s inconvenient, but as the seller has advised, it was shipped together; opening it will determine if they did send the four rolls in one shipment or if we need to ask them to ship the other three.”

Customer: “I can’t believe I have to open it!”

(The customer then opens it, grumbling the whole time about how annoying it is to have to actually open the product and follow the instructions.)

Customer: “Well, I guess it is all here. Ugh. I can’t believe they shipped it all together, and I guess I was wrong, then. But this is ridiculous!”

(I have learned you can hardly ever make anyone happy when it comes to online shopping.)

This story is part of our crazy-online-shoppers roundup!

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Read the crazy-online-shoppers roundup!

I’m a very lazy person by nature. I’ll get up and walk around if I feel like it, but I never really go out of my way to try and stay fit. I’m also notorious for hating every sport except for swimming, due to poor performances in gym class. As part of a co-op program for college, I end up staying with my marathon-running, fitness-nut uncle for a month. He is constantly offering for me to join him for workouts or trips to the gym, but I always decline, and he never pushes it. He just wants to be polite and offer to let me come along.

One day, I decide I want to try it, so I get his help setting up a workout routine. When I go back to college at the end of the program, I try it myself without supervision. I end up hurting my hip and have to stop, but after a week or two, I notice that the pain is not going away. It takes me two years to get a proper doctor’s appointment for this — my community is notorious for long waits to see doctors for anything — and I am diagnosed with a muscle tear in my right hip.

So, to sum it up, I hate sports, but the first time I do an actual workout to try and get myself into shape, I come away with what is commonly called a “sports hernia.” Everyone who found out laughed at the sheer irony of it.

(I work in a cafe that hires students for internships. They work as full-fledged employees, while training on the job. There is a high preference for students with a disability or behaviour problems, because they usually don’t get many chances. Most succeed and get jobs in “normal” cafes or catering. One student, however, is not looking promising, despite the intensive training, coaching, and personal mentor. He’s been late every day for two weeks now, and he has received his final warning. Today he showed up on time, with the cafe’s uniform, but without the required shoes. The shoes are normal black shoes, but have a strong top — in case of falling knives; yes, that has happened more than once — and anti-skid profiles on the bottom.)

Mentor: “[Student], where are your work shoes?”

Student: “Oh, eh… I lost them.”

Mentor: “You… lost them?”

Student: “Yup, they are totally gone.”

Mentor: “Ah, well… Then you’ll have to buy new ones.”

Student: “What?! No way!”

Mentor: “You know the required shoes are for your own safety. If you can’t find them, you’ll have to buy new ones.”

Student: “I’m not going to pay anything!”

Mentor: “Then you’ll just have to start looking for them!”

Student: “Haven’t you been listening?! I can’t search for them; they are lost!”

(Our cafe’s motto is, “Never give up on anyone,” but I fear we may have to look for a more suiting place for this student.)

(As a student, I have a job at a self-service restaurant. One of the duties of my department is “doing the hall,” which is essentially the task of taking away the dirty dishes people leave on the tables. The restaurant has a conveyor belt for the people to leave their dishes on, but of course we can’t force the customers to turn things in there themselves. Also, many people sitting on the other side of the restaurant aren’t able to find the conveyor belt. That resulted in dialogues like this:)

Customer: “Sorry, do you know where I can find the conveyor belt?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, it’s that way, near the exit.”

Customer: “What? All the way over there?”

(Yes, they really said that to the employee who is obviously walking the same distance countless times every day. Even more assuming is this conversation I have with a big man with a dominant voice, who is putting his dishes on the belt.)

Customer #2: “Hey, I’m not surprised people are leaving their dishes on the tables! That belt really is far too far away!”

(Once again, I’m walking the same distance far more than he is. Also, lots of people sitting nearby the belt leave their dishes on the table, as well, so that has nothing to do with it.)

Customer #2: “Can’t you guys make a cart for that stuff, like so many other self-service restaurants have?”

(The suggestion of a cart wasn’t that weird. Weird was his idea that we should MAKE one, rather than buy it somewhere.)