I pull up to the speaker box in a drive-thru and am greeted by thirty seconds of silence. Finally:

Employee #1: “Hold on a moment, please.”

Another minute of silence.

Employee #1: “Okay, place your order when you’re ready.”

Me: “I’d like [item #1], [item #2], and a diet [soda].”

Another minute of silence.

Employee #1: “Sorry, my headset was broken. Please place your order.”

Me: “Okay, [item #1], [item #2], and a diet [soda], please.”

Employee #1: “That was [item #1]. Will that be all?”

Me: “No, I’d also like [item #2] and a diet [soda].”

Employee #1: “Okay, that will be [price for item #1]. Please pull forward.”

Figuring it will be easier to correct them at the window, I pull forward.

Employee #1: “All right, that’s [price].”

Me: “No, I also wanted [item #2] and a diet [soda].”

Employee #1: *Sighs* “Okay, [item #2] and [soda].”

She rings them in and turns to [Employee #2].

Employee #1: “Can you get [soda]?”

Me: “Diet. That’s diet [soda].”

Employee #1: “Okay, sure.”

[Employee #1] hands over the food and walks away.

Employee #2: “Here you go, one [soda].”

Me: “That’s diet, right? I wasn’t sure she heard me.”

Employee #2: “Yeah.”

They walked away. It turned out not to matter if it was diet or not because after I pulled away I realized they’d forgotten a straw and I couldn’t even drink it!

I work for a small software company affiliated with a nearby university. We are licensed to sell and support the software while students can use it for free. A very small part of my job is monitoring the customer service email. Because we are a small company with clients who email their support engineers directly, it is typically college students looking for an excuse to turn in their homework late. 

I had one guy call the customer service line and leave a voicemail at 5:37 pm and claim he couldn’t do his homework that was due at 5:30 pm because we didn’t pick up. You know, ignoring the fact he had two weeks to contact us and we only answer software questions, which you don’t actually need to do the homework if you are paying attention in class.

I have just given one PhD student a new install package to run.

Student: “I tried to install it and it doesn’t work.”

Me: “I am going to need more information. Can you confirm that it was installed properly by checking to see if [folder] is empty or has files in it?”

The student sends me a heavily clipped screenshot of what doesn’t even look like our software.

Student: “What does this mean?”

Me: “Hello. Unfortunately, I don’t know which context this is in so I cannot help you with that. Let’s focus on troubleshooting. Did you check [folder]? Did you also check your app settings to see if it was installed correctly?”

Student: “Does it matter where it is installed?”

Me: “It does matter where it is installed. That is why I am asking if you can see the files in that folder or not. Can you please let me know if they are there?”

Student: “Can’t you just send me a new license?”

Me: *Thinking* “Are you going to actually install it this time or not?”

For the record, it turned out he was trying to install a second copy on his work computer, which is a big no-no and goes against the contract he signed. It also didn’t work out for him because of permissions at his work. Oh, well.

Everyone who works for me has to get their training sheets signed off before they get their full pay. It’s not my rule, but I admit that it works and it’s pretty simple — it takes a week at most.

We have a guy transfer over from another shop. I know they had problems with him, but we are desperate and it’s not like I’ve not dealt with difficult people before.

Employee: “Why is my pay so low? I was told it would be [higher amount]!”

Me: “It will be once you finish the training; it was all explained in the letter.”

Employee: “I’m not working for that!”

Me: “The training is a week. It isn’t even hard, just normal workday stuff.”

Employee: “Well, I’m not doing it!”

Me: “Okay, we will find someone else.”

I walk away. No training means no pay rise. Before I get round to making the call to replace him, I hear that he wants to do the training after all.

Me: “There are ten training sheets to sign off. Some we can just do with a quick run-through. Others may take a little longer to ensure you’re happy.”

I hand him the sign-off sheet.

Employee: “What is this?”

Me: “A sign-off sheet. Once you and I are happy that you understand the training given, we both sign.”

Employee: “You can’t make me sign that!”

Me: “No, but you won’t go any further without it. We’ve been through this already.”

Employee: “But I want the money.”

Me: “Do the training, then. Simple.”

He walked away from me. I let my boss know and he backed me up. I mentally prepared for another new starter when my boss called me in. He let me know that the new worker had claimed discrimination based on his race and the fact that he was the only person getting “less money than all the white people.” I explained to my boss that all [Employee] had to do was complete the training, but he made me take the day paid while they investigated anyway.

I came back the next day and the new guy was not there. Officially, he had quit. I wish I had been there for that conversation.

I work for a large company and have two people working for me: [Coworker #1] and [Coworker #2]. [Coworker #1] is hardworking, always on time, and happy to help. [Coworker #2] is her opposite; he has been late several times already this year and won’t do anything he deems “not his job.”

Both are great people and work well together; however, when a vacancy comes up for a senior position in another department, I recommend [Coworker #1]. She has all the qualities needed and the right attitude.

A few weeks later, I learn that there have been many applications — including [Coworker #1] and [Coworker #2] — but [Coworker #1] got the offer. They publicly state that it was largely helped by my personal recommendation.

[Coworker #2] comes to me, very angry.

Coworker #2: “Why did you recommend [Coworker #1]?”

Me: “I felt she was well suited for the job.”

Coworker #2: “That’s favouritism! You should have recommended us both or neither.”

Me: “No, I will never stand in the way of people progressing, and frankly, the promotion wouldn’t suit you.”

Coworker #2: “How do you know?”

Me: “The job includes working longer hours, working helping different teams, and, importantly, needs excellent timekeeping and organisation.”

Coworker #2: “You don’t know! I could do all that if I wanted to!”

Me: “You expect to be given a job, based on no evidence that you could perform any of what they are asking, instead of us giving it to someone who has demonstrated that they can time and time again?” 

Coworker #2: “I, err, well… It’s still not fair. I’m going to human resources!”

He did and he put in a complaint against me, which was disregarded immediately. HR told him that we can recommend anyone we like, and frankly, it was part of my job to develop people. 

As he still wouldn’t back down, they brought the interviewing manager over, who told him brutally that even if the Pope had given him a recommendation, he still wouldn’t have gotten the job!

[Coworker #2] sulked for months and nearly got himself fired for his resulting behaviour. Happily, he has finally agreed to let me develop him and his skills and he is doing much better.

I work as a contractor, taking roles in companies that are having serious quality problems. 

Having worked for several companies in many industries, I have gotten pretty good at finding out why problems occur and how to fix them.

This one company is having major issues with deliveries to their main customer. Every month, they are sent a list of missing parts. The company has to make a load of spares and then airfreight them across the globe to get them delivered in time.

The company is sure that their supplier is making it up but can’t prove it. 

My first step is the packing area, I am introduced to a hate-filled, haggard woman that initially refuses to look at me. I’m told she is the person that packs everything and of course could make no mistakes. 

Me: “Hi, my name is [My Name]. I’ve been asked to help out with [Customer].”

The woman ignores me.

Me: “Perhaps you could help me understand what might be the issue?”

Woman: “Well, they’re making it up, aren’t they!”

Me: “Okay. Do we have any paperwork that proves what we packed?”

Woman: “Oh, I knew this would happen. What has it been, five minutes? And you are blaming me?”

Me: “I didn’t say anything about blame.”

Woman: “No, I don’t want to talk to you anymore.”

And she refuses to speak to me. I catch up with the owner. He is as limp as wet lettuce and makes some stupid excuse not to deal with her. He asks me to try again tomorrow. So I do.

Me: “Good morning! Can we chat?”

Woman: “I suppose.”

Me: “So, we need to prove that the customer is losing these parts.”

Woman: “I don’t see what the fuss is about. They cost pennies to make.”

Me: “And hundreds of pounds to replace and ship, every month. I was told that because of these complaints, the company is barely making any money.”

Woman: “I don’t see what that has to do with me!”

I spent a month trying to work through the problems, being ignored by staff, and trying to wet nurse the directors. I eventually found a foolproof, quick, and cheap solution to fix the problem. However, the directors were too scared to implement it, in case it inconvenienced the staff.

I told the company they were wasting their money hiring me if they would not implement my solutions and respectfully ended my contract early.

They call me from time to time to come back in and help. I decline.