The Only Victim Is Productivity

, , , , | Working | August 23, 2017

(We have an (admittedly very attractive) woman working in my office. She spends most of the day online or at the coffee machine. I’ve noticed this getting even worse as she has started to take two lunch breaks and generally do very little work. She gets away with it as all the guys (apart from me) fawn over her, rush to be the first to buy her a coffee, or help her out. Being snowed under this starts to irritate me, but I keep my nose out of it until I’m told that she now works with me to help with my work.)

Me: “Can you send me over [Report] when you finish it, please?”

Woman: “Oh, [Guy] is doing it.”

Me: “But it’s not his job!”

Woman: “I know but I was struggling and he offered.”

Me: “Okay, well, can you update [Presentation] like I showed you, and send it to me, please?”

Woman: “Yeah, I guess.”

(I get on with my own work. An hour later I still don’t have the email; it should only take 15 minutes. Another hour later, still nothing. I look up to find she has disappeared! I give her another half hour before I go to look for her. I find her chatting in another office.)

Me: “Have you finished my presentation yet?”

Woman: *looking at me like I have asked the most stupid question* “No, I’ll do it in a bit.”

Me: “Well, I need it by the end of the day.”

(Before I even finished she had turned away and started chatting again. Her attitude carried on for a full nine months, while the whole time I was getting stick for not completing my work. Then our boss was replaced with a woman who was immune to her charm. The worker put in a complaint with HR but it was thrown out. She left feeling “victimised” for being asked to do her job.)

Not Being A Good Sport

, , , | Right | August 23, 2017

(This is at the movie racks in the electronics department.)

Customer: “Where are the workout DVDs?”

Me: “They’re over in Sporting Goods.”

Customer: “Oh, that’s too far.”

Tip Of The Hat Towards Karma

, , , , | Working | August 20, 2017

(I work at a restaurant doing carryout. It’s our down time, so all employees are supposed to help out wherever they’re needed. The girl who’s on checker does not get up to help at all. Mind you, I’m on carryout by myself and five different customers come up all at once. I grab a different coworker to come help me. While this coworker is taking an order, the phone rings and she puts it on hold.)

Coworker: “[My Name], there’s an order on the phone.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll get it in a minute.”

Lazy Coworker: “Who’d you say it was on the phone?”

Coworker: “[Regular Customer].”

(Mind you, Regular Customer always tips.)

Lazy Coworker: “I’ll get it!”

(When Regular Customer came to pick up his food, he did not tip! She only helped out to try and get that tip and he didn’t even tip this time! Karma.)

Going On Break With No Paper Trail

, , , , | Working | August 20, 2017

(Once in a while, and only on Saturdays, they have four to eight people working on papers at a table in the back. It’s literally the easiest thing you can do there since all you have to do is put a paper in a bigger pile of papers, carry it over to a machine, and push it through. That’s it. One night, a new girl comes in.)

Me: “Hello.”

New Girl: “Hey…”

(Shortly after that we get the papers. We start and then about an hour later this gem happens:)

New Girl: *sigh* “I’m going on break.”

Me: “Uh, you can’t just go on break. Wait until they send you.”

New Girl: “Well, when are they going to do that?”

Me: “It’s gonna be a short night so, honestly, I don’t think we’ll get one, but maybe we’ll get a ten minute break later.”

New Girl: “No break…? Isn’t that, like, illegal?”

Me: “Well, no. New Jersey law says that you only get a half hour break after six hours. Since this only takes about four hours, we won’t get a break. I’ve done this a few times, though, so I know that eventually we’ll run out of paper and we’ll get a short break. It might be even longer if the machine breaks down instead.”

New Girl: “So you’re telling me that after touching this dirty paper for about an hour, I’m not even going to get a break.”

Me: “Yes… but there’s a good chance we wi—”

New Girl: *scoffs* “I’m going on break.”

(She grabbed her phone and left. I and other people working at the time were flabbergasted. We did eventually get our break, but she wouldn’t know since she was gone for about an hour or two. She eventually came back and continued to work for the remaining hour and then left. I’m glad she didn’t look at me during that hour, since I’m positive I glared at her every time I looked her way. Luckily, that was the only time that happened since I haven’t seen her there since.)

Your Argument Is Redundant

, , , , | Working | August 18, 2017

(A few years ago I could see my company failing. As I have two small children, I decide to find another job with some stability. Towards the end I talk at great lengths with some of my team and try to get them to at least look at their options, but as the pay is higher than average, due to the bad reputation of the company for firing people, many of them ignore my advice and some ridicule me for going to somewhere else for less money. A year later, I get a message from one of my former team. He is a decent guy but utterly hopeless. Due to him being friends with the boss, he was never pulled up on his behaviour and was massively overpaid. But I still want to help him out.)

Ex-Coworker: “Hey, [My Name], did you hear the news?”

Me: “Hey, about the redundancies? Yeah, I heard. Are you affected?”

Ex-Coworker: “I don’t know yet. We will soon.”

Me: “That’s a shame; it really is. How is the job hunt?”

Ex-Coworker: “Oh, I haven’t started yet.”

Me: “Maybe worth looking soon. I mean, it is better to find something now then be desperate later.”

Ex-Coworker: “Yeah, you’re probably right.”

(I know this guy won’t bother; as much as I want him to sort himself out, I know he will struggle.)

Me: “Tell you what. I will send you over anything I find.”

Ex-Coworker: “That would be great, thanks!”

(Over the next couple of weeks I send a list of jobs, each of them are more suitable to his “skills.” I deal with recruitment companies anyway so I get them to take a look at his CV. I don’t hear anything for a couple of months until I get another message.)

Ex-Coworker: “Hey, [My Name].”

Me: “Hey! How are you?”

Ex-Coworker: “Not great. I found out I’m at risk.”

Me: “That sucks; how goes the job hunt?”

Ex-Coworker: “Okay, I guess. Those jobs you sent over weren’t really what I was looking for.”

Me: “Really? Why not?”

Ex-Coworker: “Well, if I’m going for a new job I want to get more money.”

Me: “More money? But you might not have a job in a couple of months.”

Ex-Coworker: “Yeah, well, I need to find a better job.”

(I was stunned. This guy knew that he struggled in his current job, he knew that he was overpaid, and that any more money would mean an even more challenging job. I just didn’t know how to respond. Eventually he signed off and said goodbye. I heard nothing from him again for months, later learning from another friend that he did lose his job, and that apparently I didn’t help him out and that I promised to get him a job. He still messages me time to time asking for work; I occasionally send him over vacancies. None of them are ever good enough.)

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