Third Eye Blind

, , , , , | Working | December 18, 2017

(About twenty years ago when I was living in the UK I saw a movie that I really liked. Back home on holiday, they show the movie at our local cinema, but only for a week. I persuade all my friends to watch it with me. The only time we can manage is the last day it is on. This is a movie none of them have heard of, and they go only based on my recommendation. After about one third of the movie, I realize they have skipped the middle and gone right to the last third.)

Me: “Guys, they just skipped a third of the movie. I’ll go and see what happened.”

(I leave to find an employee.)

Me: “Excuse me. I’ve been watching [Movie], and there are about 30 minutes missing in the middle.”

Employee: “That’s impossible.”

Me: “I’ve seen the movie twice before, and I know that the middle third is missing.”

Employee: “I don’t see how that is possible, but I’ll try to find out. Come back after the movie is over.”

Me: “Since this is the last time you are showing that movie, I don’t see how this will help, but okay.”

(I went back and hoped that we could at least get a refund. About five minutes before the end credits, the fire alarm went off and our screen was evacuated. Not the whole cinema, but only our screen. I tried to find the person I had spoken to before, but couldn’t, so I tried to explain the situation to the person who seemed to be in charge. Long story short, they didn’t believe me, either. They also said that since the fire alarm wasn’t their fault we wouldn’t get any refunds. At least my friends took my word for it that the movie would have been great and weren’t too angry about the money they had spent.)

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The Customer Is Always Right, But The Price Isn’t

, , , , , , | Working | December 14, 2017

(My partner and I order a large platter of chicken from the deli at our local grocery store and go to pick it up.)

Partner: “Hello, is the pick-up order for [Partner] at [time], ready?”

Cashier: “Yeah, hold on.”

(The cashier goes and gets our order and sets it at the counter. It has a large container of ranch sitting on top that we did not order.)

Me: “We didn’t order ranch; are you sure you grabbed the right one?”

Cashier: *deep sigh* “Yes! Your total is [price almost half of what it should be].”

Partner: “That can’t be right; are you sure this is our order?”

Cashier: *snippy* “Yeah! It’s !”

Me: “There is no way that’s right; the base price before taxes is $9 more than that. Are you sure you don’t want to check and make sure you grabbed the right one?”

(At this point the cashier looks pretty angry and seems like she is about to say something, when an older deli worker steps up to see why this is taking so long.)

Older Worker: “What are you—” *looks at register, then leans in and squints as they look back and forth between the price and the platter* “What is wrong with you?! That platter is [correct price]! You know that! Fix It!”

(They walk off to continue working and our cashier gets a weirdly smug look while FINALLY looking into the system for our order information. She clicks around, puts in the right total, and straightens out the order.)

Cashier: “That’s what happens when you can’t keep your mouth shut! You could have gotten it for a cheaper price, but—”

Partner: “You realize that you would have got in trouble if we had done that, right?”

Cashier: “What?”

Me: “We’ve both worked retail. Order systems like this have a base amount you should have at the end of the day if all the orders were picked up. They would look to see where that other $13 went and see that it was a transaction you did, and then they could write you up or fire you.”

(At this the cashier goes pale and turns super friendly.)

Cashier: “Well, mistakes happen, and you two are just really good people! Just really, really great people.”

(We slide our card and collect out order.)

Me: “Not everyone you meet in retail is a bowl of sunshine. You have a great day!”

Cashier: “Yeah.”

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Enough To Lose One’s Shirt

, , , | Right | December 14, 2017

(I work in a well-known motorcycle dealership. We get a lot of phone calls from people looking for something specific. I get this particular type of call at least once a week.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Dealership]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I’m looking for a shirt and was wondering if you had it?”

Me: “Sure, do you have a part number?”

Customer: “Well, no.”

Me: “That’s okay; can you give me a quick description?”

Customer: “Yes, it’s black and has the [famous logo] on it somewhere.”

Me: “Uh… Well, that sounds like about 90% of our inventory.”

Customer: “Oh, that wasn’t very helpful was it?”

Me: “Nope.”

Customer: “It’s all right. I’ll just come in and look; I’m right down the road.”

Me: *internal screaming* “Sounds great. We look forward to seeing you.”

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Needs A Lecture On Lecturing

, , , | Learning | December 14, 2017

(I’ve recently gone back to college to do a business course and they’ve hired a lecturer that used to be a professor at a well-off university. He often gives us vague information and expects us to do the entire class as self-study. A lot of the students are doing the course without any experience or knowledge on the subject and frequently ask him for help.)

Lecturer: “I don’t know why you’re having so many problems; just read [text book #1] and [websites]. It’s not that hard.”

Student#1: “Okay, but that’s a pretty big textbook, and I don’t know what information would be relevant to the tests. I mean, there are several case studies in here; do you expect us to memorize all of them?”

Lecturer: *scoffs* “If you were in [University] you would memorize all of this.”

Student#2: “We’re not in [University]!”

Lecturer: “That’s why you read the texts! Follow that power point I gave you.”

Student #1: “You mean the one that just has keywords listed on each slide with no context, or the one that’s just web links?”

Student #3: “We’re obviously not learning anything like this. Can’t you just run through some stuff with us?”

Lecturer: “I’m used to [University] students, smarter students, ones who go off and do learning independently. Why can’t you do that?”

Student #2: “You are our lecturer; what is the point of you even being here if you won’t lecture?”

(It didn’t get much better after that, and eventually the class complained so much that we got a new teacher who was actually willing to work with us instead of watching us work.)

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Got To Give Him Extra Credit For Trying

, , , , , , | Working | December 12, 2017

I attempt to top-up my “pay as you go” mobile at a bank’s ATM, but the message on the screen says that the transaction failed. I try once more and get the same result, so I decide to try at a different bank.

Then I check my phone and see that, according to it, my credit had been topped up successfully, both times. So I go back to the bank and print a statement, which shows that both transactions failed and my account hasn’t been charged. Effectively, I have gained money out of nowhere!

I explain the situation to the teller, who tells me that there is nothing the bank can do, and it is the phone company’s problem. I call the phone company’s service number and tell them, but they insist it is the bank’s problem. Since both sides don’t want to do anything, I don’t mention it again.

I figured that eventually the issue would be discovered and the money taken from my account, but that never happened. I got a lot of credit for free.

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