The Most Annoying Growth In The Room Isn’t The Tumor

, , , , , | Working | September 28, 2017

(I’m visiting my doctor for a checkup following a surgery to remove an early-stage cancerous tumor. When the checkup is finished, the physician asks me if I have any other questions or concerns.)

Me: “Well, actually, I’m worried about [hormonal disorder]. I’ve a fam—”

Doctor: *cutting me off* “You don’t have that.”

Me: “What? My mother has this disorder, my sister has just recently been diagnosed, and we’re fairly certain my grandmother had it, too. Plus, I noticed—”

Doctor: “You don’t have that. If you did, we’d be seeing [other, unrelated symptom], and we’re not. So, you don’t have it. Anything else you want to ask me about?”

(Irritated, I told the doctor that I didn’t have any more questions, and left. I ended up contacting a different doctor for a second opinion. The new doctor asked me about my symptoms and medical history, and then immediately sent me for diagnostic tests. It turns out that I DO have the disorder, and a fairly severe case, too! She couldn’t believe it when I told her that my usual doctor wouldn’t even look into my concerns, when all of my symptoms and history pointed to this disorder. It just goes to show you the value of getting a second opinion, and that it’s okay to “fire” your physician if they aren’t doing a good job!)

I Bet The Farm That You’ll Be Fired

, , , | Learning | September 28, 2017

(A student of mine has been giving me non-stop attitude all day and refusing to do work. After three chances, I ask her to stay for second recess so we can talk about her behaviour.)

Me: “What’s up, [Student]? Is everything okay? Why are you acting this way?”

Student: “I just stayed up too late, and I’m too tired this morning, so I don’t want to work.”

Me: “Why were you up so late?”

Student: “I was playing a video game on my DS.”

Me: “I know it’s hard to sleep sometimes, but you have to find a way to stop impacting the rest of your work. I mean, when you grow up and get a job, your boss isn’t going to accept that as an excuse. You will get fired.”

Student: “I just won’t work, then.”

Me: “Are your parents okay with that?”

Student: “They can’t tell me what to do when I move out!”

Me: “How are you going to move out if you don’t have money from a job?”

(The student stares off in silence. Obviously she didn’t think that far ahead.)

Student: “I guess I can work on my grandfather’s farm, then.”

Me: “A farm is a lot of work, you know. What if you tried that excuse on your grandfather?”

Student: *smirks* “My grandfather wouldn’t fire me.”

(Since nothing was getting through to her, I called her mother later to let her know what she said. She assured me that the student’s grandfather would definitely fire her if she tried that.)

Let Slip How Lazy They Are

, , , , | Working | September 27, 2017

(I have to close the store one night with the laziest coworker there. It is routine to retrieve carts that are outside and bring them in. On this particular night, there are about seven carts outside. It is snowing, leaving the parking lot slick and dangerous. Due to unfortunate circumstances, my work boots have been destroyed, making it difficult to traverse across the ice.)

Me: “Hey, could you get the carts for me tonight? I’m afraid I’d be falling everywhere if I tried.”

Lazy Coworker: “I’m not really feeling it, tonight. I’m gonna just smoke my cigarette and finish up the rest of the closing procedure afterwards.”

(I roll my eyes, as this is typical of his behavior, and continue the trek out into the icy parking lot. There’s one cart that’s at the complete other end of the parking lot, about 100 yards away, which results in much slipping and sliding all the way there and all the way back. After gathering all of the carts and falling on my bum at least twice, I finally make it back into the store.)

Lazy Coworker: “Wow. That looked like it hurt. Glad I decided to stay inside.”

Will Keep Bugging You

, , | Working | September 26, 2017

(I’ve published for years with a particular online company, with excellent results. My most recent project, however, is not working—text won’t flow onto the pages, and so forth. After multiple attempts at email support over a couple of weeks, the tech sets up a live chat consultation. He tries several things, all of which I’ve already attempted. He expresses surprise each time it doesn’t work, and I occasionally cheerfully interject, “Welcome to my world.” Finally, after close to two hours with no result of any sort:)

Tech: “Well, it’s obviously a bug. And I need to work with other customers now.”

Me: “I refuse to feel guilty for taking your time, as we have not solved my issue.”

Tech: “Well, it’s a bug. You’ll have to figure out a work-around. Good-bye!” *click*

Every Five Minutes

, , , , , , | Working | September 25, 2017

(I am working in the drive-thru. It is a very busy Friday night during dinner rush, and it also happens to be a payday. This is before the proliferation of debit cards, so we only accept cash, and four out of five customers are paying with twenty dollar bills from their fresh paychecks. My drawer is running low of small bills to make change with.)

Me: “Hey, when you get a chance I need fives; they keep paying with twenties and I am running low on bills for change.”

Manager: “Okay, give me a minute.”

(The drive-thru line is wrapped around the building, and there is a steady stream of customers at the counter as well, but she manages to deliver some fives to me relatively quickly. However…)

Me: “Only 4 fives?”

Manager: “You don’t need any more than that.”

(The next two cars in line both order a single value meal, costing around six dollars each, and each pays with a twenty. After taking both payments, I make a new request for fives.)

Manager: “But I just gave you some a minute ago!”

Me: “And I used them to make change for two cars, and now I’m out of them again.”

(She returned another minute later with another 4 five dollar bills, and the cycle repeated where I needed more fives after a handful of cars. After yet another request for fives came in that five-minute period, she got the hint and came back with a hundred dollars worth of fives, ensuring that I would have enough change in reserve for the remainder of the dinner rush.)

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