They Will-ingly Fell For It

, , , , , | Learning | February 1, 2018

(I share an apartment with two other guys. One of them is pretty sharp and shares my sense of humor; the other has lived a sheltered life and is a bit naive, though he’s very reluctant to admit it. I’m in law school, and decide to have a bit of fun with [Roommate #2], knowing [Roommate #1] will pick up on the joke and play along. “Intestate” may sound like a medical condition, but it just means a person dies without having made a will.)

Me: “Hey, guys. You’ll never believe this. In class today, I learned about a guy who had five kids with his wife, but after he died, they found out he’d been intestate the whole time!”

Roommate #1: *playing along* “Wow, really? And he had five kids?”

Roommate #2: *pretending to understand* “Wow!”

(Five minutes later:)

Roommate #2: “[My Name], what does ‘intestate’ mean?”

Inappropriate Question: Abort! Abort!

| Austin, TX, USA | Working | February 19, 2017

(In my third year of law school I spend my mornings in class and then get one of the campus shuttles downtown to the District Attorney’s office (where criminal prosecutors work), where I have an internship. At this time of day there’s often no one else on the bus. As I get on one day:)

Bus Driver: “So, where are you going today?

Me: “To the DA’s office. I’m in law school and I’m working there.

Bus Driver: “Oh, really? So what do you think about abortion?”

Me: “Umm…”

Bus Driver: “If you’re going to be a DA, then it matters. Did you know that in some places, you can still get an abortion even when the baby is old enough to live outside the uterus?”

Me: “Umm…”

Bus Driver: “I might be voting for you one day. You need to tell me what your views on abortion are.”

Me: “I’m sorry, I’m not comfortable talking about that.”

(I went and sat down in the big, empty bus and looked at my phone to avoid eye contact for the rest of the trip. Sorry, Mr. Bus Driver, but 1) while THE District Attorney for each county is elected, the dozens or hundreds of attorneys who prosecute cases are not; 2) DAs, like the police, just enforce the laws that already exist and have nothing to do with making the laws; and 3) my views on abortion are none of your d*** business!)

The Law Of The Land

| Minneapolis, MN, USA | Learning | July 16, 2013

(Our class is about to graduate, and our professor is talking to us about our future prospects. Given that the job market is rather bleak, we are not that enthusiastic.)

Professor: “Well if you can’t get hired, would you start your own practice? Could any of you see yourself hanging out your shingle?”

Student: “I could see myself hanging ACTUAL shingles.”