They’re Just Browsing

, , , , , | Working | June 9, 2018

(My boss is a lawyer who uses a computer with two monitors on a daily basis. One day, he calls me into his office to help him.)

Boss: “I’m having a problem with my computer. It won’t go away.”

Me: “What won’t go away?”

Boss: *points to car picture on the second monitor* “That! It won’t go away!”

Me: “Okay, you want a different picture for your wallpaper?”

Boss: “No, I want it to go away!”

Me: “Let’s start over. What do you actually want to see on that screen?”

Boss: “Google. That’s what’s usually there!”

Me: *opens Chrome*

Boss: “Hey, it’s back! How did you do that?”

Me: “…”

Making It A Matter Of Public Record(ing)

, , , , , | | Legal | May 23, 2018

(When my husband was 18, he defaulted on a credit card in the amount of $500. Fifteen years later a company starts calling, trying to collect on that defaulted credit card in the amount of $12,000. They call him, me, my mom, my sister, his parents, his siblings, and his grandmother. Repeatedly, at all hours. They start telling him that if he doesn’t pay he will be brought up on federal charges and be a felon. They tell our family that he is a bad person who will go to jail for year. That if we don’t settle with them, they will push for the max penalty and he could go away for 10+ years. At first we think that this is a scam call. It’s scary how much information they have on us. When we look into them they turn out to be an actual debt collection agency. We both start taping the calls; so do my sister and two of my husband’s siblings. We all tell the company to leave us alone and stop calling. My husband and I tell them to either take us to court or leave us alone. After three months of this, we finally take them to court for harassment. This is one of the conversations that we have, to the best of my recollection.)

Their Lawyer: “You can’t use the recordings that your clients made. California requires all parties to be informed that they are being recorded.”

(Our lawyer presses play on one of the recordings:)

Employee From The Company: “This is [Employee] calling from [Company]; is this [My Name]?”

Me: “Yes.”

Employee From The Company: “Just so you know, this call is being recorded for legal purposes…”

(Our lawyer stops the recording:)

Our Lawyer: “Sure sounds like everyone was aware the call was being recorded.”

Their Lawyer: “But they weren’t actually recording the calls.”

Our Lawyer: “Well, maybe they should stop lying to people, and then they wouldn’t be here today.”

(They settled out of court, which was to pay our legal fees, “settle” our account so they couldn’t sell it to anyone else, a small amount of monetary compensation, and to never contact us or anyone in our family again.)

Drafting A New Company To Work With

, , , | Working | February 24, 2018

(I work in an area of law that often requires very complicated technical drawings, done to strict standards. After the draftsman at my old firm retires, I find a drafting company I hope can replace him. The first set of drawings is okay, but the second set is pretty bad because they didn’t bother to actually read the notes I sent. They have to redo all the drawings. I decide to give them one more chance, but then this conversation takes place.)

Me: “Hello, this is [My Name] with [Law Firm]. I’d like to request a new set of drawings.”

Customer Service Rep: “Sure, just let me pull up your account. Oh, I’m sorry. I don’t think we’ll be able to accommodate you. Apparently, there were some problems with who we dealt with last time.”

Me: “Last time? That was me. The only problem was that the drawings weren’t done correctly.”

Customer Service Rep: “Hang on. Let me pass you to my supervisor. One moment.”

(Significantly more than a moment passes.)

Company Owner: “Hello, this is [Owner]. I’m the owner of [Drafting Company].”

Me: “Yes, there appears to be some kind of problem.”

Company Owner: “Look, I’ll be frank. We don’t want your business. We want to work with large firms, not penny-ante firms like [Law Firm].”

Me: “With service like this, no doubt you’ll land lots of them.”

(I hung up, fuming, and found another company that was glad to have the business. The funny thing is, I now work at a very large law firm. When we were looking for a drafting company for future projects, one of the companies on the list was [Drafting Company]. I made sure everyone knew exactly what kind of quality and service we could expect, and their name was quickly scratched off. Who got the work? The company I’d found after [Drafting Company].)

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