I work in a swanky and admittedly bougie coffee place. Almost on a weekly basis we get this one customer and her two very-badly-behaved kids come in. She always lets them run around the seating area bothering people, and as much as we plead with her to “please corral her children”, she just says “boys will be boys” and lets them run amok. We try to get management to tell her, but they say:

Managers: “There’s nothing we can do if the other customers aren’t complaining.”

Then the day happens. One of them spills a guy’s coffee all over his laptop and themselves. The kid starts crying because the coffee is hot. Instead of checking on the health of the kid, she marches over to the guy:

Mother: “You spilled your coffee over my kid!”

Customer: “No, he ran into my table because you weren’t watching him.”

Mother: “I’m going to sue you for hurting him! Everyone here is a witness!”

At this point, the customer starts laughing.

Mother: “What’s so funny? You won’t be laughing this hard when I see you in court!”

The customer stands up and hands her his business card.

Customer: “Look around. This coffee house is the ground floor of a skyscraper full of law firms, including State Attorneys, of which I am one. Everyone here is indeed a witness… and a lawyer, and they’re all watching your neglectful parenting get more neglectful by the minute the longer you continue to ignore your crying son.”

By this point, a coworker and I have come over to check on the boy. He’s not burned, thank goodness, but definitely a bit shocked and embarrassed.

Customer: “I look forward to hearing from your lawyer.”

She grabs her kids, screeching at me as I apply ice cubes to his arm:

Mother: “Let go!”

They storm out. The customer walks over to me.

Customer: “She in here a lot?”

Me: “Once a week.”

Customer: “She pay by card?”

Me: “She does.”

Customer: “Tell your manager that someone from CPS might be calling for some receipts at some point.”

And with that, we replaced his coffee, and he went upstairs to get to work…

This story is part of our Editors’-Favorite-Stories-Of-2025 roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

Read the first story!

Read the roundup!

I attended a deposition for a car accident; another car hit mine. The other party’s attorney was asking me questions.

Attorney: “How close would you say you were at the time of impact?”

I asked him to repeat the question, which he did, clear as a bell. I could see the stenographer struggling to hold in her laughter.

Me: “Considering his car was touching my car at the time of impact, I would say we were very, very close.”

I’m an attorney, and although I’m young, I’m in a managing position. The firm hired a new, older attorney. Needless to say, he was already having a hard time adjusting to the fact that his boss was twenty-five years younger than him, but he held it together… except that he was awful with support staff, paralegals, and legal assistants alike.

This guy was so entitled that he would accost the senior paralegal (my paralegal) — because he “should not have to use a legal assistant given his ‘seniority’” — daily and command her to transcribe his notes for him. Once, I overheard him call her “girl”.

Me: “Don’t call her that, [New Attorney]. I also want to remind you that she doesn’t work for you. If you need help with something, you should tell me.”

He continued. It turned out that he was technologically inept. Human Resources forced a meeting to discuss basic tech stuff, and we all needed to attend. [New Attorney] fell asleep during the meeting. I called him out during the meeting and told him to go splash water on his face.

After the meeting…

Me: “What the h***, [New Attorney]?”

New Attorney: “I thought the meeting was for the girls.”

By that, he meant the support staff.

So, long story short, I fired him this morning. He was not happy. He felt as though his “seniority” was not appreciated and that had he worked too hard in his life to have to do his own work. He expected to have his own associate to boss around and was disappointed to see he had to respond to me.

I’m taking the “girls” out for drinks today. Good riddance!

I work as a paralegal in a personal injury firm, and I have a client who is stopping into the office to sign her settlement paperwork. She is an older lady but has been pleasant and reasonable during the course of her case, but then:

Client: “Also I want you to talk to [Defence Counsel] and tell them to stop following me.”

Me: “Ma’am, your case has been settled for several weeks and private investigators charge by the hour. Even IF [Insurance Company] was having someone doing surveillance, they’re certainly not spending any more money on that after you agree to settle your case.”

Client: “No! They have put bugs and cameras in my house. I was at the mall yesterday and at least ten people had their phones out and were taping me.”

Me: “Ma’am, are you sure they weren’t just… people at the mall on their phones?”

Client: “No! I know they’re all following me and taping me and sending information back to [Insurance Company]. You tell them they have to stop now.”

Me: *Questioning my career choices.* “Yes, ma’am. I’ll let them know.”

I work as a legal assistant for a multi-attorney law firm. Every attorney in the firm is female, as am I.

Me: “Good morning, you’ve reached [Law Firm].”

Man: “Yeah, I wanted to ask an attorney a question about [legal issue].”

Me: “I’d be happy to schedule you an initial consultation with an attorney.”

Man: “No, it’s just one question. Get me an attorney.”

Me: “Sir, in our experience, ‘just one question’ usually leads to several more, which is why I suggest you schedule a consultation.”

Man: “I just want to ask one attorney one question!”

Me: “Our attorneys do not give advice over the phone. Do you want to schedule?”

Man: “What’s your name?”

Me: “I am the legal assistant.”

Man: “Well, Miss Legal A**-istant, I can tell you don’t want to work today and don’t give a f—”

I hang up on him. As I am writing a quick chat message to the office letting them know the situation, the phone rings again with the same number. Before I can send the message, one of the attorneys — the one who started the firm — picks up.

Attorney: “Hello?” *Short pause* “Excuse me?” *Hangs up*

Me: “I am so sorry. That guy was demanding to talk to an attorney with the ‘just one question’ excuse, and he was getting mean, so I ended the call.”

Attorney: “He got very mean. He called me a c*** and slammed the phone down.”

Me: “I am so sorry.”

Attorney: “It’s fine. Now we know we definitely don’t want to work with him.”

Fifteen minutes later, a Google review popped up complaining about our “phone unprofessionalism”. It included his name, so the attorney replied, telling him that the only legal advice he would be receiving from our firm was to not call the attorney he wanted assistance from a c***.