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Inheriting An Impossible Request

| Helsinki, Finland | Crazy Requests, Criminal & Illegal, Popular

Me: *phone rings* “[Law Firm], [My Name].”

Customer: “Do you handle inheritance cases?”

Me: “Yes, we do.”

Customer: “Well we have this disagreement in my family that has been going on for almost twenty years.”

Me: “Okay.”

Customer: “The problem is that a couple of relatives won’t sign any documents and we are all absolutely adamant that court proceedings are out of the question.”

Me: “Those are really the only options, I’m afraid. Either you can make an agreement or go to court.”

Customer: “No, that will not do. I want you to resolve it.”

Me: “I can write the contracts for everyone involved to sign, or I can take the matter to court. There is no third way.”

Customer: “No! Those options will not do! I want you to resolve it now. And I mean immediately!”

Me: “You mean at this very moment, over the phone, talking to you?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but that is impossible.”

Customer: “Why?!”

Me: “It just is. I would have to do magic to resolve your disagreement of twenty years instantly, talking to just one party over the phone.”

Customer: “You are just absolutely useless!” *click*

Taxing Faxing, Part 16

| SC, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

Me: “Thank you for calling [Law Firm]; this is [My Name].”

Client: “I need to speak to [My Boss].”

Me: “I’m sorry, she is on the phone. May I help you?”

Client: “No, I really need her.”

Me: “Okay. She may be a minute. Are you sure I can’t help you?”

Client: “No, I need her fax number. I’ll hold for her.”

Me: “Uh, I can give that to you.”

Related:
Taxing Faxing, Part 15
Taxing Faxing, Part 14
Taxing Faxing, Part 13

Email Fail, Part 6

| SC, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

Me: *sending email to client* “I will need some information from you to get your papers started.”

Client: *in a replied email* “Okay, just send me your email address and I’ll get that right to you.”

Related:
Email Fail, Part 5
Email Fail, Part 4
Email Fail, Part 3

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