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Pimp My Fried

, , , , , | Right | February 7, 2021

I am a cashier in the drive-thru and a car full of guys come through. 

Me: “Any sauces or any salt?”

Dude: “You’re hot.”

Me: “Thank you. Can I get any sauces for you?”

I try not to be rude when people say things like this but it always makes me uncomfortable.

Dude: “You could make so much more money if you’d let me help you.”

Me: “I’m sorry.”

Dude: “Come work with me; you’ll make tons of money with me.”

His friend from in the car pipes up.

Dude’s Friend: “He’s the best pimp I’ve ever met.”

Me: “You’re a pimp?”

Dude: “Yup.”

My manager has overheard and comes over. I’m very uncomfortable. I’m trying to give them their food and they’re refusing until I give them an answer.

Manager: “Okay, here’s your food, and here’s some salt. Have a good day.”

After the car left, the manager told me that they come by every once in a while and try to get the girls to “work with them.” I’m still hoping they were kidding.

Don’t Re-Member

, , , , | Right | February 1, 2021

I work in a store that asks customers for their phone number or email for our loyalty program. This is something I’ve encountered multiple times.

Me: “And what’s a good email or phone number for you?”

The customer gives me their phone number.

Me: “Oh, it looks like you’re not in the system. It only takes about two minutes to get you updated and you get discounts that non-members don’t.”

The customer complies and we fill put their loyalty information. We get to the email portion.

Me: “It says your email is already in the system. Let’s try that.”

Customer: “Oh, yeah. I get emails from you guys all the time. I should be in there under my email.”

Me: *Internal facepalm*

An Order Disorder, Part 2

, , , , | Right | November 12, 2020

Every day, this customer comes in and orders the same thing: a medium number four with curly fries. I have his order memorized.

Customer: “Hello.”

Me: “Hello, your total is [amount].”

Customer: “I’ll have… Wait, how do you know what I’m going to order?”

Me: “You order the same thing every day.”

Customer: “Oh, then I should change it.”

He orders something completely different.

This scenario would play out every time I made the mistake of entering his food before he said it. He would even check my screen to make sure I hadn’t entered it already.

Mind, we ALL knew his order, so as soon as he came in, the cook would start on his sandwich and the fryer would put in his fries. If he changed it because I entered it too fast, the food would go to waste.

Sometimes I would hold onto his food for a little just so he wouldn’t realize we already knew his order.

An Order Disorder

She Had An Ace In The Hole: Her LIES

, , , , , , | Working | September 28, 2020

My friends and I go to Las Vegas for the weekend. While there, we decide to play some blackjack, so we find a blackjack table.

The dealer deals us our cards. Her up card is an eight. After we all make our decisions, the dealer turns over her down card — a nine — giving her a hard seventeen. At first, since we all have between eighteen and twenty, we think we win, since the table’s rule is that the dealer stands on any seventeen. However, the dealer then draws another card — a four — giving her a twenty-one.

Dealer: “You lose!”

Me: “You cannot draw on seventeen! It says, ‘Dealer stands on seventeen,’ right on the table!”

Dealer: *Snotty tone* “Sorry, I make the rules at this table!”

Friend #1: “Just leave it, [My Name]. Let’s just do another round.”

She deals us another hand. Her up card is an ace this time.

Dealer: “Would anyone like to make an insurance bet?”

We all decide to make the bet.

Dealer: “Nope, no ten-value card. You lose your insurance bet!”

Welp. It was worth a try. We continue regardless and make our decisions. She turns over her down card — a king.

Dealer: *Smug grin* “You lose!”

Friend #3: “You said you didn’t have a ten-value card!”

Dealer: “Well, I lied.”

Friend #2: “You can’t do that! We want our money back!”

Dealer: *Snottily* “My table, my rules. You’re not getting your money back.”

Me: “That’s it. We’re done here.”

We got up and went to management to complain. Upon hearing our complaints, they told us we weren’t the first patrons she had pulled this stunt on. After investigating the security footage to confirm it, they refunded us our money and apologized for the incident, assuring us she would no longer be a problem. We ended up playing poker and roulette for the rest of our time there. At one point, on my way to the restroom, I saw the now-fired dealer being dragged out by security, kicking and screaming. We still go to this casino whenever we go to Vegas, but we no longer play blackjack.

The Wedding From (And In) Heck

, , , , , , , | Related | September 16, 2020

My younger sister had a summer wedding in Las Vegas where she was living at the time. It was hot as heck, in the nineties even at night that week. My dad had to pick me up at the airport. The flight was delayed three hours, so I got into Las Vegas just after 7:00 pm.

The groom’s family was supposed to take everyone out for dinner. They did not wait for us, so only my sister was there. They all got drunk as h***. My parents, grandmother, and I ended up eating at [Australia-Themed Chain]. Our dinner was very nice, but it was around 10:00 pm.

The groom and best man had a fistfight in the restaurant’s parking lot, which led to the groom and my sister spending the night in a Las Vegas emergency room. The best man ended up in jail for the entire weekend. My sister refused to leave her intended in the emergency room, so she called my mom about every two hours during the night. My folks did not get much sleep. I shared a room with my grandmom, so we slept okay.

The next day, the day of the wedding, the groom’s family, the groom, and my sister all showed up. They were all hungover and unhappy. The wedding was supposed to be at 1:00 pm, with the ceremony held at a cheap-looking walk-in wedding chapel. There was no shade or outdoor seating. The prior wedding party ran late, so we all spent an hour outdoors, in Las Vegas in July, where the outside temperature went from 108 to 110F during that hour. After about twenty minutes, my dad let my mom, grandmom, and me sit in their rental car with the air conditioning on so we didn’t get heatstroke.

Finally, a little past 2:00 pm, the ceremony could begin. It turns out that the chapel could hold twelve if everyone squished together, and there were more than twenty there. My dad squished inside, but I stayed in the rental car to keep my ninety-year-old grandmom healthy, and after a little bit, my mom came to sit out the ceremony.

We had to go back outside for wedding pictures. Photos for the ceremony were done by one of the groom’s friends. Everyone had to stand out in the sun again for another half-hour and I was ordered to not wear my prescription sunglasses for the pics. Since I never saw evidence of any pics, my guess is he screwed up somehow.

By this point, I had used all of a (large) tube of SPF-fifty sunscreen on myself, my grandmom, and my mom — and everyone else attending because no one else brought sunscreen. I was the only one who wore a hat. I was in long sleeves/full coverage, dying in the heat, because I’m pale as f***.

As the wedding group was getting into cars, someone rammed into me, knocking my prescription sunglasses — in their case — onto the asphalt, and a car drove over them. They were crushed beyond salvaging.

For the reception/wedding dinner, my sister had booked twenty reserved places for us at a bar she liked, and thirty were in the party by then. We got there and only two six-person booths were held for us. The catering guys never showed, but they did call the bar to alert them. This meant there was no food available, only drinks.

The cake, ordered separately, never showed up, either, but my sister only found this out an hour later. The bar’s staff lied that it was “in the back” so the entire group wouldn’t leave before spending money there.

Everyone got drunk — no food and lots of booze — except for me, since I don’t drink. I ended up driving my mom, dad, and grandmom back to our motel.

We were told there was another fight in the bar later that night which ended with more police involvement, but my sister didn’t want to talk about the details. Her new husband was arrested but not booked that night. My sister says they got out of the police station at around 3:00 am.

The marriage lasted less than a year.