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The Real Bread Winner

, , , , , | Right | May 2, 2013

(I’m shopping at a bakery that’s known for making a unique loaf of bread. It usually sells out quickly. Due to the popularity of the item, customers are only allowed one loaf per visit. I’m in the long line when I see there are still some of the special loaves available. By the time I get to the front of the line, I see there’s two left: one for the older woman in front of me, and one for me. There are two cashiers, so I go to the second cashier as the first one helps the older woman.)

Cashier #2: “Hi! Welcome to [Bakery]. Will this be all for you today?”

Me: “Actually, can I have one of those [Special Loaves]?”

Cashier #2: “Oh, sure!”

Older Woman: “What? She can’t have that! It’s mine!”

Cashier #1: “Ma’am, you already have one. We can’t allow you to have another one.”

Older Woman: “It’s not for me! It’s for my daughter!”

(She then points to the woman standing behind me, who looks equally annoyed.)

Cashier #2: “We’re sorry, but we can’t hold this for her. This customer asked for it first.”

Older Woman: “But I was here first! And I’m holding one for my daughter!”

Cashier #1: “Ma’am, we can’t do that. It’s against store policy.”

Older Woman: “Well, in that case, I want to return everything! I don’t want to shop here if that’s how you treat your customers!”

(The older woman has purchased a lot of items, and begins to unload her bag onto the counter. At this point, the people in line behind us are getting agitated, and the cashiers are looking distraught. I roll my eyes.)

Me: “You know what? Just give it to the woman behind me.”

Cashier #2: “Are you sure?”

(I nod. The older woman gets a smug look, as she and her daughter leave the bakery with their items.)

Cashier #2: “We’re so sorry that happened, but thank you!”

Me: “It’s no problem. It wasn’t worth the drama.”

(I pay for my original items, and turn to leave when [Cashier #1] stops me.)

Cashier #1: “Hold on a second. We just pulled out a fresh batch from the oven. Would you like one?”

Me: “Yes, please!”

(Not only was the bread I had delicious, but it was even fresher than the two the older woman got!)

Her Head’s Up In The Sky With Diamonds

, , , , | Right | July 8, 2010

(A customer about the age of thirty walks into the store.)

Me: “Hello, how may I help you today?”

Customer: “Yes, I’m looking for some recent Beatles records. Do you have any?”

Me: *assuming she means recent re-releases* “Hold on one second.”

(I find some and hand it to her.)

Customer: “Thank you so much! The Beatles are my favorite band! I would shoot myself if they ever broke up!”

Customer Behind Her: “Well, get your gun ready.”


This story is part of our Beatles roundup!

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Caught In Your Own Conundrum

, , , , | Right | March 11, 2010

(The mortgage company I work for sends out notices to people with FHA home loans letting them know that they may be eligible for a new FHA program, and to call us for more information.)

Me: “Hi, this is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Take me off your mailing list!”

Me: “Okay, that’s no problem. What’s the file-number on the notice?”

Caller: “I’m not giving you any information!”

Me: “I just need that so I can pull up your file and remove you from the system.”

Caller: “I’m not giving you any information!”

Me: “But then I don’t know who you are.”

Caller: “Good!”

Me: “But then how do I know who to stop sending the notice to?”

Caller: *several seconds of silence, and then they hang up*


This story is part of the American States roundup!

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When All Else Fails, Rephrase

, , , , | Right | April 6, 2008

(I’m selling tickets to a show of the High School Musical Tour.)

Customer: “I already have tickets; I just need meet and greet passes for my two girls.”

Me: “I’m sorry, you have to get those from the PR people in the show.”

Customer: “I only need two, though.”

Me: “I understand, but we do not physically have any meet and greet passes here. You can only get them from the show.”

Customer: *snooty* “I’m from Summerlin, though.”

(Summerlin is an upscale, high-class part of Las Vegas.)

Me: “Let me talk to my manager.”

(I walk to the back, count to ten and come back out.)

Me: “My manager said if you go into the show and talk to the PR people, they should have some for you.”

Customer: “Thank you!”


This story is part of the Theater roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

22 Fun Stories About Musical Theater That Will Have You Dancing In The Aisles!

 

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