Both Rooms Involve An Eventual Release

, , , , | Working | May 9, 2018

(We’re discussing possible activities for our annual team outing. We discussed the possibility of going to an escape room some days prior.)

Coworker: “Before it comes up again, I’m not going to one of those dark rooms! I’m not going, if that’s what we’re doing!”

Me: “[Coworker], I can promise you we will not be going to a dark room for our team outing. I’ll explain the difference between an escape room and a dark room later. On second thought… Maybe not.”

A Fresh Way To Say It

, , , | Right | May 8, 2018

(A customer walks up to the counter and points at the packages of quails.)

Customer: “Is that fish?”

Me: “No, sir, those are quails.”

Customer: “But is it fish?”

Me: “Um, no… It’s a bird.”

Customer: “Fish or freeze?!”

Me: “OH! Sorry! Yes, it’s fresh. Never frozen.”

A Strange Complaint, To Name A Few

, , , , , , | Right | May 7, 2018

(I’m working on the counter on a fairly busy evening, and am serving a couple of men who are very friendly. The transaction goes normally until the end, when one of the customers stares intently at my name badge.)

Customer: “Who couldn’t spell your name?”

Me: *confused* “I’m sorry?”

Customer: *looks at feedback card with my name on it, and looks at my name badge again* “Who couldn’t spell your name?”

Me: “Nobody? That is my name.”

Customer: *blank stare*

Me: “Kirsty. That’s my name.”

Customer: *tries repeating my name but totally botches it* “What? I can’t…”

Me: “Kirsty. As in, ‘rhymes with thirsty.’”

Customer: “Kir-sty… Hmm. Weird.” *walks away*

(I’ve never known anyone to be so flummoxed by my name, and usually, if anyone has been slightly confused by my name, it’s been people from other countries.)

Sock It To Me

, , , , | Working | May 7, 2018

(After a long, late night shift, I pull into a fast food drive-thru to get some food. I have the restaurant’s app open with a coupon I want to use.)

Employee: “Welcome to [Restaurant]. Order whenever you’re ready,”

Me: “Hi, I have a coupon for a free sock…” *realizing my mistake* “Oh, God, I’m sorry. I meant a soft drink. I’m sorry; I’m really tired.”

Employee: *laughing* “Not a problem. Now, would you like that in a pair, or just the single?”

(I ended up giving the guy a two-dollar tip.)

Not Much Sleeping Involved

, , , , , , | Related | May 4, 2018

(My grandparents are visiting from North Dakota and are staying at my family’s house, which is relatively small and has a distinct lack of guest bedrooms.)

Grandma: *to my parents* “We’re not kicking you out of your room again, are we? Where will you be sleeping?”

Dad: “Around. Wait, that came out wrong.”

Me: *hysterical laughter*

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