Weekend Roundup: Spelling Disasters

, | Not Always Right | Right | May 13, 2012

Spelling Disasters! This week, we share five stories of customers with spelling so bad, they need it spelled out for them!

  1. Their Spelling Is Wrong, But They Are Sticking To It:
    E is for Elmer’s Eskimos—you know, the ones that live in Eglues!
  2. It’s Spelled I-d-i-o-t:
    Welcome to Indiamimbindokiamn, Indiana. Population: Stupid!
  3. I Have Lost A Dream:
    A lost customer does battle with an abbreviation—and loses.
  4. Congra-duh-lations:
    Congra-du-lations, your cake’s spelling is a lie!
  5. Spelling Gone Rogue:
    Somehow, “going rouge” doesn’t have the same ring to it.

PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

Customers Should Watch Their Language

, | Buenos Aires, Argentina | Right | December 2, 2010

(I work in tech support for a major US cable company, and sometimes we have to deal with people who just don’t want to talk to you because you’re foreign.)

Customer: “You know what? I can’t understand a word you’re saying. You have an accent. Can I be transferred to someone who speaks English?”

Me: “I’m pretty sure I’m speaking English right now, sir.”

Customer: “Yeah, but I can’t understand you because of your accent.”

Me: “So, basically you’re saying you want me to transfer you to someone else.”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Because I have an accent.”

Customer: “That’s right.”

Me: “And you can’t understand what I’m saying.”

Customer: “Exactly.”

Me: “So how come you were able to understand what I just said?”

(A few seconds of silence.)

Customer: “Don’t be an a**-hole and just transfer me!”

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What Is This Culturally Monolithic Country Coming To

, , , , | Right | August 20, 2008

Me: “Good evening, sir. How may I help you?”

Customer: “I want a good movie.”

Me: “Of course. I recommend Pan’s Labyrinth; it was excellent.”

Coworker: “You are aware that this movie has subtitles.”

Customer: “What the f*** is that?”

Coworker: “The words at the bottom you have to read. It’s in Spanish.”

Customer: “What the f*** is that? We’re in America; we don’t speak Spanish! I want it in American!”

(He storms off and promptly returns with ‘Apocalypto.’)

Me: “Sir, you do know this movie has subtitles, too?”

Customer: “What the f***? What is this country coming to? When did we become another country?! I want a god-d*** American movie! Where are the American movies?”

Me: “The store is full of movies made in America.”

(He walks back up about ten minutes later with ‘Letters From Iwo Jima’ in his hand.)

Customer: “This is the movie by Clint Eastwood, right?”

Coworker: “Yes, it is.”

Me: “And it’s really good, too.”

Customer: “Clint Eastwood is a real American. He knows what I like!”

(I gave a look to my coworker who didn’t say anything that time, and we rented him the movie. Too bad ‘Letters From Iwo Jima’ is all in Japanese with English subtitles.)

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A Nasty Case Of Selective Hearingitis

, , , | Right | June 10, 2008

(I work for the billing department for a big cable company. I speak English clearly, but it’s my second language.)

Lady: “I just got my bill and it says I owe you $400 in adult films, but I haven’t watched them.”

Me: “I apologize for the inconvenience, but we got that information from your receiver. Do you think maybe somebody in your house might have ordered them?”

Lady: “No, there’s only me and my nephew.”

Me: “How old is your nephew?”

Lady: “He’s 14 years old, but he would never do that! I need you to credit my account for the whole amount.”

Me: “Again, I apologize for the inconvenience but I won’t be able to do this at this time. I see we have credited your account twice in the last six months.”

Lady: “I need the credit NOW, you hear me!”

Me: “I understand your frustration, but as I told you before it’s impossible for me to do that at this moment.”

Lady: “What? What did you say? I can’t understand you… You have a really thick accent!”

Me: “I apologize; I said I won’t be able to credit your account at this time.”

Lady: “What? You need to learn English before you get on the phones. I can’t understand a word you said!”

Me: “Okay… So, would you like me to credit your account for 600 dollars?”

Lady: “Yes, that’s what I’m asking for! THANK YOU.”

Me: “Oh, so now you understand my English. Sorry, we cannot credit your account at this time.”

Lady: “Let me speak to a supervisor!”

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Cancun, Oahu, Same Difference

, | | Right | June 5, 2008

(Standing in line behind a tourist, while she is getting rung up.)

Cashier: “Aloha, how are you today?”

Tourist: “Oh, I’m sorry; I don’t speak Spanish. Could you talk in English, please?”

Cashier: “Hello, how are you today?”

Tourist: “Fine. We just flew here from America today.”

(The cashier rings up the tourist’s few items.)

Cashier: “That will be twenty five dollars and eighty five cents.”

Tourist: “Do you take American money here? I only have American money. I have not been able to get to the currency exchange yet.”

Cashier: “Ma’am, we are in the United States. We take dollars here.”

Tourist: “Oh, really? You take this money?” *holds up her $20 bill*

Cashier: “Yes, ma’am. Those are dollars, and being a US state we do accept those.”

Tourist: “Well that’s very nice of you to accept foreign money.”

Cashier: *puzzled* “Mahalo. Have a great day!”

Tourist: *under her breath* “I told her I didn’t speak Spanish!”

 

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