Leaving Them In The Dark

, , , , | Right | December 4, 2017

(I’m working the 4:00 to 10:00 night shift. It’s about 6:30 in the evening, and I’ve been ringing out a woman who has been nothing but pleasant the entire time.)

Me: “And here’s your change. Have a good night!”

Customer #1: *suddenly snobbish* “It’s still sunny out.”

Me: “I’m sorry; this is actually the night shift. Um, have a nice day.”

(She takes her things and leaves without another word. A second customer comes up and I ring her through no problem. Since the first woman was so appalled, I decide maybe I should stick to “day,” since the sun is, in fact, still shining.)

Me: “Have a nice day!”

Customer #2: “The day is practically over. You should have said, ‘Have a good night!'”

(She took her things and stormed out while I silently banged my head against the register keyboard. Everyone else that night got a vague, “Have a good one,” until it was firmly dark outside.)

Disneyland Is Really Swinging

, , , | Learning | December 4, 2017

(I work as an ESL teacher and am working on practicing “Where’s ____ going?” “He’s/She’s going to _____” with two nine-year-old girls. I’ve written down a bunch of locations numbered 1-20 and they have to roll the twenty-sided die to figure out the place, but they’re free to choose the character/person themselves. Lines in [brackets] are in Japanese.)

Girl #1: “Where’s… Mickey going?”

Girl #2: *roll* “He’s going to Disneyland.”

Girl #1: “[That’s pretty normal. He’s just going to work. Okay then, I’ll do…] Where’s Minnie going?”

Girl #2: *roll* “She’s going to the shopping mall. [Aw, that’s mean, Mickey’s off working and she’s skipping off to go shopping.] Where’s Donald going?”

Girl #1: *roll* “He’s going to the shopping mall.”

Me: “[It’s an affair!]”

Girl #2: “[Minnie, how could you!]”

Girl #1: “[Mickey’s out working and you’re having an affair with Donald! Let’s see then…] Where’s Daisy going?”

Girl #2: *roll* “She’s going to the shopping mall!”

Me: “[She found out!]”

Girl #2: “[Ooooh Minnie, you’re in trouble!]”

Learning Vietnamese Should Only Take A Day

, , , , , | Working | December 3, 2017

(I’m getting a SIM card in Thailand. I am ethnic Chinese with an American passport. I am learning Vietnamese so I put my phone to Vietnamese. Though I can only read 10%, I am trying to force myself to learn the rest, since I generally know what it should say. The conversation is in English unless stated.)

Employee: “Passport, please, and your phone?”

Me: “Here you go.”

Employee: *in Vietnamese* “SIM card… inside…”

Me: *in Vietnamese* “Oh, my Vietnamese isn’t very good.” *in English* “English, please?”

Employee: “Idiot. Then why use Vietnamese phone?!” *rolls eyes*

Me: *pause* “I’m learning it, too? I’m still a beginner.”

Employee: “Not good enough. If you learn it, learn it well!”

(He continued to glare at me, so I quickly got it done and left. I’m not sure what his problem was; perhaps some political/ethnicity nonsense?)

We Love Faggots, But We Couldn’t Eat A Whole One

, , , | Working | December 1, 2017

(I am shopping with my husband. I am male.)

Customer: “Faggots.”

(I instinctively turn around at the word and see an elderly lady trying to get a worker’s attention. She’s standing in front of a freezer with pork faggots on the top shelf.)

Worker: “Miss, you cannot use that word! Please watch your language. It is upsetting to our customers.”

Customer: *pointing* “Faggots!”

Worker: “I will not ask you again!”

Customer: *grumbles*

Worker: “That’s it. I’m calling security.”

(The worker tries to grab her by the elbow. I separate from my husband and walk between them, opening the shelf and taking a box down.)

Customer: “Oh, thank you, dear.”

(She takes the box and shoves it in the worker’s face.)

Customer: “FAGGOTS!” *walks away*

(The worker walked away, red-faced. Admittedly, the customer could have worded her request better, but the worker could have at least tried to understand what she asking before jumping to conclusions.)

Location Is Your Vocation

, , , , , , | Working | November 30, 2017

(Wherever I go, if I hear someone with an accent, I like to ask where they are from because I like placing accents. I am at work and am helping an exchange student from Ireland with my boss nearby.)

Me: “Pardon me, but where are you from?”

Customer: “Ireland.”

Me: “What city?”

Boss: “Hey, knock that off! You can’t ask foreign people questions like that. It’s racist!”

Me: “Actually, I am just trying to figure out his accent. He sounds like a friend of mine from college who is from Killarney.”

Customer: “Actually, I’m from County Kerry. Killarney’s county. You have a mighty ear.”

(My boss then started helping another customer without even acknowledging his outburst. I continued helping the first customer as we chatted about Ireland.)

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