I Confess To Being As Mature As A Seven-Year-Old Boy

, , , , , , , | Learning | October 13, 2019

(In second grade, my class prepares for first Reconciliation by practicing with our teacher and a nun who works at the church. The teacher or nun sits in the priest’s chair and we go in and have a pretend confession. The rest of the class watches so that we can learn from each other. Naturally, some students decide to have some fun with it.)

Nun: “What sins have you committed?”

Student: *grinning* “I farted in my dad’s face on purpose!”

Nun: “Well, that wasn’t very nice, was it?”

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The Number One Joke Of The Day

, , , , , | Learning | March 30, 2019

(In elementary school, our computer teacher starts off class every year with keyboarding practice. She does this by calling out each letter a couple of times followed by, “space” — for example “A, A, space” — which we then have to repeat as a class as we type it. We’re up to the letter P.)

Teacher: “All right. Everyone always wants to laugh when they hear me say, ‘P, P, space.’ So, if you’re going to laugh, do it now.”

(She actually gave us thirty seconds to laugh and get it out of our system before continuing with the lesson. And you can bet we did.)

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Doesn’t Get How Taking Messages Works

, , , , | Right | March 5, 2019

(I work at a physician’s specialty office as a new patient scheduler and I am reaching out to a patient to schedule their appointment. Unfortunately, the information the referring office sent me contained an incorrect cell phone number. This is the conversation I have with said caller:)

Me: “Hello. May I please speak to [Patient]?”

Caller: “No, you have the wrong number, but can I take a message?”

Me: “You can’t take a message if this is the wrong number.”

Caller: “Oh.”

(It was a much-needed laugh after a very long and stressful day.)

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We’re Meeting At Gettysburg – You Got The Address?

, , , , , , | Learning | February 16, 2019

(We’re learning about the Civil War.)

Student: “So, how did the two sides always end up at the same place? Did they, like, call each other on the phone and say, ‘Hey, you want to fight at Gettysburg tomorrow?'”

(Pretty sure that second part was facetious. It was a valid question!)

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We’ll Assume He Got Up In The Afternoon

, , , , , , | Related | January 9, 2019

(My husband is singing nursery rhymes to our eighteen-month-old son. He starts singing:)

Husband: “It’s raining, it’s pouring! The old man is snoring. He went to bed and bumped his head… and died.”

Me: *starts laughing*

Husband: “What? It’s implied!”

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