From One Parent To Another

, , , , | Hopeless | October 6, 2018

My child has a health problem. Recently a lab has popped up in the US which has a very important diagnostic test offered as a cheek swab for 250 USD, whereas previously this was a very lengthy and invasive procedure costing thousands.

I contact the company to learn how I can get the cheek swab kit from them, and how I can ship it back, since I am in Europe. A friend from the US is coming over soon, so we decide that they should ship it to her. However, they are in Philadelphia and she is in Chicago… and the cheek swab needs to be delivered back to them a maximum of 24 hours after it is taken.

When I receive this bit of info via email, I start sputtering, “But… But!” to myself, and all my hopes drop. It’s simply impossible. But no, they have a solution; the person emailing with me says that he will personally drive to any closeby airport such as JFK or NJ, as long as I can find someone who will bring it with them, and take the sample from this person. This makes it possible, since my city has a direct flight to JFK, and I can surely find someone I know who will be going some time soon.

When I ask why they would do this, and say that I have never seen this level of service before, the man writes that he has a child, too. I cry my eyes out. He will be getting a nice gift with the sample, too.

A Signature Move From An Incompetent Person

, , , , , | Working | September 16, 2018

(The Vice President of our company has authorized me to send some biological samples to a microscopy lab, but she has apparently forgotten that she gave permission. This particular Vice President is one of those people who can never, ever be wrong.)

Vice President: *yelling* “You sent the samples to [other lab]? You can’t just do that! You’re never allowed to bring these samples offsite without my permission!”

Me: “But you gave me your permission.”

Vice President: “No, I didn’t! I never would have agreed to that! We have procedures here, and apparently you don’t feel like following them!”

(I walk out of her office and straight to my desk, where I pick up the Request Form that she signed the previous day to authorize me to bring the samples to [other lab]. I return to her office and place the form on her desk, assuming that I’m playing the trump card by showing her, indisputably, that she approved this transfer of samples. She’s quiet for a few moments while she stares at the Request Form, and I think I’ve won. But then:)

Vice President: *yelling again* “That’s not my signature!”

(And that’s why, at the company where I work, even getting everything in writing is insufficient.)

Should Double-Check The CEO’s Resume

, , , , , | | Working | May 27, 2018

(We’re hiring a new research associate for the lab, and I’m in charge of vetting resumes to choose our new hire. After a few weeks, we interview someone we like, and we hire him. Shortly afterwards, I notice we’re still receiving resumes, so I talk to our HR consultant.)

Me: “Hey, I noticed we’re still receiving applications for the research associate position. I checked, and it looks like the job is still listed on [Job Website].”

HR: “Yes, it’s still there.”

Me: “But… shouldn’t we take it down? People are applying, thinking the position is still open.”

HR: “Well, we paid to have the ad posted for 30 days, so we’re going to leave it posted for 30 days.”

Me: “Isn’t that misleading?”

HR: “Sorry. It’s what [CEO] wants.”

(This was her answer to almost everything. Even worse, it was usually accurate.)

Some Humor Is See-Through

, , , | Working | April 17, 2018

(Our new lab technician has a sense of humour.)

Lab Tech: *pushing the dirty glassware cart along the rows of benches in the lab* “Glass for the Glass God! Glass for the Glass God!”

(We empty and rinse our used glassware and put it in her cart. She comes to the row where the lab professor works.)

Lab Tech: “Glass for the Glass God! Glass for the Glass God!”

Professor: *confused* “Wha – what?”

Lab Tech: “Do you have any dirty glassware for the glass wash?”

Professor: “Ah! Ah, no, I don’t. Thank you, though.”

Lab Tech: *next row of benches* “Glass for the Glass God! Glass for the Glass God!”

Professor: *muttering* “I know what I thought I heard.”

Unfiltered Story #107574

, , , | Unfiltered | March 20, 2018

I work as a volunteer research assistant running psychology lab studying reaction and attention. Students can sign up to be participants for extra credit in certain courses or for a small amount of money. On the sign-up website, the studies students can sign up are listed by code names, but in reality, we choose two to three studies that needs more participants and run those all week. This means that we run the same study under multiple code names. There are also two types of studies: 30 minute study for one credit or five dollars, or 60 minute credit for two credits or 10 dollars.

We have just set up a student for a 60-minute study for two credits when she tells us that she’s already done that study before. The only other study we’re running at that time is a one-credit 30-minute study. We set her up in that one and message the lab coordinator to see whether we need to take away her two-credit and get her to sign up for the one-credit study so we can credit her correctly. The student finishes her study early (as is typical for most participants) and asks what will happen with her credit and we don’t have an answer for her yet. I promise to email her once I hear back from the coordinator.

A couple of hours later, the coordinator finally messages me back saying she can keep the two-credits since she had no way of knowing it was going to be the same study. I pull up the email app on my phone and let her know. A couple of hours later, she emails me back thanking me, and I finally notice that my entire message was in the subject line of the email… and the body of email only held my signature.

IP Address:
64.114.84.107

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