Leave Your Trash (TV) On Our Desk

, , , , , | Right | November 30, 2017

(I am down in the laundry room getting towels when a guest is getting checked in, so I have no interaction with him. When I get back, I notice he has left his payment card at the desk, so I walk around to the back to give it back to him.)

Me: “Are you [Guest]?”

Guest: “Uh… Yes?”

Me: *hands him his card*

Guest: “OH! Oh, thank God! THANK GOD! HAHAHA!”

Me: “Haha, yeah, bad thing to leave behind.”

Guest: “HA! Oh, man! Thank God! I thought you were with Cheaters! Oh, thank God! “

Me: “…”

It’s About To Become An Even Bigger Deal

, , , , , , , | Right | November 13, 2017

(I am the manager on duty and have just received a call that we need to evacuate due to a gas leak. I am trying to contact my boss and evacuate the customers when a customer approaches me.)

Customer: “Hey, I need to ask you something.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we’ve actually been asked to evacuate due to a gas leak. It will have to wait.”

Customer: “Look, that’s not important. I need you to answer a question for me.”

Me: “No, sir, we have been ordered to evacuate. This is urgent. You need to leave the premises immediately.”

Customer: *getting irate* “I don’t understand why you’re making such a big deal out of this.”

Me: *giving up* “It is a big deal, but what can I help you with?”

Customer: “Which one of these lighters works best?”

Caught In A Supreme Lie

, , , | Right | June 2, 2017

(I work in a pizza restaurant known for its “$5 Hot and Ready” pizzas. Every day from 11 am to 2 pm, we sell lunch combos, which is half a deep dish and a 20 oz drink. The advertisements for the lunch combos clearly state they are only available until 2 pm. It is around 2:30 pm.)

Customer: “Hi, I’d like a lunch combo.”

Me: “Okay, but it will be seven minutes since we don’t have one up.”

Customer: “Why don’t you have one ready? I don’t have time to wait!”

Me: “We don’t have one ready because we don’t keep Lunch Combos Hot and Ready after 2 pm.”

Customer: “Where does it say that?”

Me: “It’s on the advertisement at the bottom.” *points to cardboard advertisement on counter*

Customer: “I’m in a hurry! I don’t have time to read signs! Never mind, I don’t want it anymore! I’ll just take a Supreme.”

Me: “We don’t keep those Hot and Ready until four. It will take about five to six minutes.”

Customer: “That’s fine. I’ll wait.”

(Guess he wasn’t in that big a hurry after all.)