(I’m at the mall doing some shopping, and see that they have a kiosk up that opens every holiday season, specializing in processed meats and cheeses. There is an older gentleman trying to get people to stop and try some samples. He is pleasant and smiling. I’m in my late 30s and get mistaken for younger quite a bit. I have a smooth complexion, with crows feet if you really look, and I’m only 4’10”.)

Me: “Sure, I’d love to try some samples. What do you have?”

Kiosk Gentleman: *hesitating* “Sorry, little miss, you have to be over 15 to try these.”

Me: “I’m 37.”

Kiosk Gentleman: “Oh! Uh… sorry, you look like a kid that was running around here earlier. She had on a similar sweater.”

Me: *laughing* “Well, I promise I’m old enough for samples. I used to work at one of these kiosks as one of my first jobs nearly 20 years ago!”

(My mom and I are at the mall running some errands and she asks me if I’d like to stop at our cell phone provider’s kiosk to see if they can replace my screen protector which is cracked. For emphasis, my screen protector is cracked not my phone’s actual screen. I catch the attention of one of the kiosk’s employees.)

Me: “Hi, I need to replace my screen protector. I got it at your store when I bought my phone. Can I buy a new screen protector here?”

Employee: “Well, what brand was it?”

Me: “Oh. I don’t know.”

Employee: “Well, you need to contact that company about getting a replacement.”

Me: “Oh, no. I’m not looking for a replacement. I was just hoping I could buy a new screen protector here and have you guys put it on.”

Employee: “You need to contact the company and then fill out the form to get a replacement.”

Me: “But I just want to BUY a new screen protector.”

(At this point I gesture to the case in the kiosk that has glass screen protectors in it.)

Employee: “Yeah, you need to contact the company.”

(My mom is bristling at this point and about to go off, but I shake my head at her and thank the employee and then walk about 20 ft. to a glass screen protector kiosk. They replace my screen protector with no problem, a two-week warranty, and a discount on my next replacement.)

(A lady comes into my booth at a craft show and is very interested in my products. She asks me for a particular scent and I point out to her where it is on the table.)

Customer: “No, this isn’t it. This is [scent].”

Me: “That’s part of my company name. The actual scent is [scent].”

Customer: “Wait, I thought you said you made all this. Why is there a company name?”

Me: “It’s my company, so the name belongs there…”

Customer: “No! Everyone knows you don’t have your own company. Only big corporations have companies! I don’t want to support that, so I won’t buy from you!”

(She walked out and I was left to ponder how it was that I was not allowed to own a company because I’m only one person.)

(I volunteer at a kiosk whenever our local soccer team is playing. We have two trash cans and one recycle bin, but despite the fact that there’s a large sign over it that says “CANS ONLY!” people always throw their trash in the recycle bin anyway. Today, an old man and a five-year-old boy are at the game, cheering for their team. The boy is just about to throw away an empty bag of chips.)

Old Man: “Throw it in there.” *points at recycle bin*

Boy: “But, Grandpa, it says “Cans Only.” Shouldn’t I throw it in there instead?” *points to trash can*

Old Man: “Why? It’s not our job! Leave it to those who work here!”

(He then proceeds to look at me with a smug smirk. Well done, sir, for teaching your grandchild that you don’t have to be responsible if you’re not a worker.)

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(I am a warehouse worker this last summer for a large fireworks company and we help out tent staff sometimes during tent season. I am on registers, where we always offer free small punks, on the Fourth, and have at least a dozen customers thinking they’re so funny with this same exchange.)

Me: *finishing a transaction* “All right, thank you for buying from [Fireworks Company]! Would you like some free punks for lighting?”

Customer: *grabbing a friend/sibling/child* “Well, I think this one here will do.”

Me: *to myself* “Yeah, like I haven’t heard that one before.”