She Is All Over The Map

| Tulsa, OK, USA | Spouses & Partners

(I work for a cell phone accessory shop inside a mall as the primary repair technician. Appointments are made through a third-party call center, and then an email with details is sent to our store; we don’t interact with a customer until they show up. A woman shows up at our kiosk with a sheet of paper in her hand.)

Customer: “I’m supposed to drop off my husband’s phone to be fixed. He said the place was here in the mall, but I can’t find it.”

(I realize that she believes we were an actual shop and not a kiosk. I check our appointments.)

Me: “We can certainly help you out. We have an appointment scheduled at 12:30 for [Husband]. Is that him?”

Customer: “I’m pretty sure this isn’t the place. He said it was called [Store], by Starbucks.”

(She obviously can’t see Starbucks behind her.)

Me: “Yes, that is us. It’s a little early, but you can still drop off—”

Customer: “No, I’m definitely sure this isn’t the place. Thank you for your help.”

(She leaves, and presumably finds another phone repair shop because she didn’t come back. Four hours pass and a man walks up to the kiosk.)

Man: “Excuse me; I’m here to pick up my phone. My wife dropped it off earlier.”

(I ask for his name, and he tells me. I realize that his wife was the woman from earlier. I inform him what happened. He rolls his eyes in disbelief.)

Man: “That woman couldn’t find water if she fell out of a canoe! I told her exactly where you guys were, and even drew her a map!”

(I had wondered what that paper in her hand was.)

Talking Trash About Trash

| Sweden | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids

(I volunteer at a kiosk whenever our local soccer team is playing. We have two trash cans and one recycle bin, but despite the fact that there’s a large sign over it that says “CANS ONLY!” people always throw their trash in the recycle bin anyway. Today, an old man and a five-year-old boy are at the game, cheering for their team. The boy is just about to throw away an empty bag of chips.)

Old Man: “Throw it in there.” *points at recycle bin*

Boy: “But, Grandpa, it says “Cans Only.” Shouldn’t I throw it in there instead?” *points to trash can*

Old Man: “Why? It’s not our job! Leave it to those who work here!”

(He then proceeds to look at me with a smug smirk. Well done, sir, for teaching your grandchild that you don’t have to be responsible if you’re not a worker.)

Punked Over And Over And Over

, | Papillion, NE, USA | Language & Words

(I am a warehouse worker this last summer for a large fireworks company and we help out tent staff sometimes during tent season. I am on registers, where we always offer free small punks, on the Fourth, and have at least a dozen customers thinking they’re so funny with this same exchange.)

Me: *finishing a transaction* “All right, thank you for buying from [Fireworks Company]! Would you like some free punks for lighting?”

Customer: *grabbing a friend/sibling/child* “Well, I think this one here will do.”

Me: *to myself* “Yeah, like I haven’t heard that one before.”

Brain Freeze

, | Brooklyn, NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Popular

(I am about to order ice cream for my two young children. An older lady holding a cone rushes in front of us and pushes my three-year-old out of her way.)

Customer: “Hey, watch your kid!”

(She turns to the cashier.)

Customer: “Excuse me, but this ice cream is just so frozen it’s not even funny.”

Cashier: “I’m sorry about that, ma’am. Would you like me to get a new one?”

Customer: “Yes. And make it less frozen!”

(The cashier gets her another ice cream. She takes a lick and drops it in the nearby trashcan.)

Customer: “This is also too frozen! You have terrible service!”

Cashier: “Well, ma’am, the thing about ice cream is that it tends to freeze. The best advice I have for you is to wait until it melts.”

(The customer stomps off.)

Cashier: *to me* “You know what ice cream is, right?”

Following Good Prints-iples

, | Helesnvale, QLD, Australia | Awesome Workers, Popular

Girl: “Hi. How much is it to print something in colour of a USB stick?”

Me: “It’s 60c per sheet, but let me see what I can do for you.”

Girl: “Oh, okay. Can I get 10 copies, please?”

(I take the USB stick and open the file she points out, an 11th birthday invitation done in a full A4 word file. At this point she becomes concerned.)

Girl: “Sorry to be a pain but is there any way you could make it smaller?”

Me: “No problem. I can do that.”

(I quickly modify the file, allowing four copies of the invitation to be printed on each sheet. I then print out the pages she wants and hand them to her. As I am having a great sales day and the fact I was impressed by her manners and polite attitude I decide not to charge her.)

Girl: “Thank you so much; how much is that?”

Me: “Don’t worry; it’s fine. You just have a great birthday.”

Girl: “Are you sure? Thank you so much.”

Me: “Not a problem. You have a great day.”

(She leaves with her friend, however about 15 minutes later the girl returns.)

Girl: “Hi. To say thank you for not charging me I brought you this.” *hands me a chocolate bar*

Me: “Oh, wow, thank you so much, but you did not have to do that.”

Girl: “You’re welcome. Thank you so much for your help!”

(She then walked away again with her friend, leaving me astounded. I am a large male, over 6’ tall, and I am not ashamed to admit after that exchange, it took all I had to fight the lump in my throat, as well as leaving me on a high all day.)

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