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Punked Over And Over And Over

, | Papillion, NE, USA | Language & Words

(I am a warehouse worker this last summer for a large fireworks company and we help out tent staff sometimes during tent season. I am on registers, where we always offer free small punks, on the Fourth, and have at least a dozen customers thinking they’re so funny with this same exchange.)

Me: *finishing a transaction* “All right, thank you for buying from [Fireworks Company]! Would you like some free punks for lighting?”

Customer: *grabbing a friend/sibling/child* “Well, I think this one here will do.”

Me: *to myself* “Yeah, like I haven’t heard that one before.”

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Brain Freeze

, | Brooklyn, NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Popular

(I am about to order ice cream for my two young children. An older lady holding a cone rushes in front of us and pushes my three-year-old out of her way.)

Customer: “Hey, watch your kid!”

(She turns to the cashier.)

Customer: “Excuse me, but this ice cream is just so frozen it’s not even funny.”

Cashier: “I’m sorry about that, ma’am. Would you like me to get a new one?”

Customer: “Yes. And make it less frozen!”

(The cashier gets her another ice cream. She takes a lick and drops it in the nearby trashcan.)

Customer: “This is also too frozen! You have terrible service!”

Cashier: “Well, ma’am, the thing about ice cream is that it tends to freeze. The best advice I have for you is to wait until it melts.”

(The customer stomps off.)

Cashier: *to me* “You know what ice cream is, right?”

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Following Good Prints-iples

, | Helesnvale, QLD, Australia | Awesome Workers, Popular

Girl: “Hi. How much is it to print something in colour of a USB stick?”

Me: “It’s 60c per sheet, but let me see what I can do for you.”

Girl: “Oh, okay. Can I get 10 copies, please?”

(I take the USB stick and open the file she points out, an 11th birthday invitation done in a full A4 word file. At this point she becomes concerned.)

Girl: “Sorry to be a pain but is there any way you could make it smaller?”

Me: “No problem. I can do that.”

(I quickly modify the file, allowing four copies of the invitation to be printed on each sheet. I then print out the pages she wants and hand them to her. As I am having a great sales day and the fact I was impressed by her manners and polite attitude I decide not to charge her.)

Girl: “Thank you so much; how much is that?”

Me: “Don’t worry; it’s fine. You just have a great birthday.”

Girl: “Are you sure? Thank you so much.”

Me: “Not a problem. You have a great day.”

(She leaves with her friend, however about 15 minutes later the girl returns.)

Girl: “Hi. To say thank you for not charging me I brought you this.” *hands me a chocolate bar*

Me: “Oh, wow, thank you so much, but you did not have to do that.”

Girl: “You’re welcome. Thank you so much for your help!”

(She then walked away again with her friend, leaving me astounded. I am a large male, over 6’ tall, and I am not ashamed to admit after that exchange, it took all I had to fight the lump in my throat, as well as leaving me on a high all day.)

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Murdering Your Opinion

, | VA, USA | Bad Behavior, Books & Reading, Popular

(I work six hour day shifts on summer weekdays. As long as everything is clean and full, we’re allowed to read a book. I’m reading quietly, but set my book aside as the lone male customer approaches. I take his order, and we’re waiting for his card to go through when this happens.)

Customer: *gestures to book, the cover of which is hidden* “So, what trashy romance novel are we reading today? Twilight? Fifty Shades of Grey?”

Me: *silently holds up the book so he can see the title, which is “Murder on the Orient Express” by Agatha Christie*

Customer: “Oh… That’s a classic.”

Me: “Yes, sir. Now let me get you your ice cream.”

(Being pretentious about books is obnoxious. If he hadn’t been a customer I would have said something, but I could tell he was embarrassed when he left.)

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And That’s How The Cookie Sale Crumbles

| Rolla, MO, USA | Bizarre

(There are a couple of other Girl Scouts, I, and our adult supervisor at a cookie booth to sell cookies. Typically, we are ignored, but not to this extreme.)

Girl Scouts: “Would you like to buy some cookies?”

(A lady, once seeing us, runs off quickly, avoiding any eye contact with us, until she reaches the parking lot. She then returns to a normal pace.)

Me: “Well, I guess she didn’t want any cookies.”

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