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A Wowie Of An Owie

| Learning | January 25, 2016

(My sister is teaching a kindergarten German class once a week, and I volunteer to help her. At the beginning of every class, we ask each student how they’re feeling, and they point to the correct face/German word.)

Sister: “How are you feeling today, [Student]?”

Student: “Sad.”

Sister: “Oh, no! Why are you feeling sad?”

Student: “My auntie died. She had a big owie.”

(To this day, I wonder what her aunt died of!)

Your Excuse Is A Bust

| Learning | December 29, 2015

(I work at a kindergarten and when a student misses too many classes, we usually call home to make sure everything is ok. This kid has missed class all week, so I call.)

Me: “Hello, this is [My Name] from [Kindergarten]. I wanted to know why [Little Girl] has missed so many classes.”

Mother: “Oh, well… she is very sick. I had to take her to the hospital and all.”

Me: *very worried* “How so? Is it that serious?”

Mother: “Oh, yes, they say she has to stay at least two weeks there. So she won’t be going to school anytime soon.”

(I hang up and worry a lot for the next two weeks, until I hear from the local bus driver that she got on the bus that morning and to wait for her outside on the school entrance… which is full of parents waiting to leave their children.)

Bus Driver: *stepping out of the bus with the little girl* “So [Little Girl], is it true you were at the hospital?”

Little Girl: *screams* “MY MOMMY GOT NEW BOOOOOBIES!”

(At the next parent-teacher meeting everyone was staring at that woman’s chest.)


This story is part of our Kindergarten roundup!

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A Very Long Engagement

| Learning | October 11, 2015

(I’ve just gotten home from my first day of kindergarten.)

Mom: “How was your day?”

Me: “I met [Boy]. I’m going to marry him someday!”

Mom: “Uh-huh…”

(The boy proposed to me three months ago, 20 years later.)

Hot Beats

| Learning | March 31, 2015

(I was teaching a small group about genres of music. We listened to a salsa song, then some Mozart, then some big band.)

Student: “Can we listen to the guacamole song again?”

Anxious Over Lack Of Anxiety

| Learning | January 20, 2015

(It’s my very first day of school and I’m three years old. My mother is waiting with me for school to start, anxious and worried about how I’ll react to the big change. We arrive outside the classroom.)

Me: “Okay, Mommy, you can go to work now.”

(She still teases me about that.)