Hot Beats

| Learning | March 31, 2015

(I was teaching a small group about genres of music. We listened to a salsa song, then some Mozart, then some big band.)

Student: “Can we listen to the guacamole song again?”

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Anxious Over Lack Of Anxiety

| Learning | January 20, 2015

(It’s my very first day of school and I’m three years old. My mother is waiting with me for school to start, anxious and worried about how I’ll react to the big change. We arrive outside the classroom.)

Me: “Okay, Mommy, you can go to work now.”

(She still teases me about that.)

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Little Miss Fancy Pants

| Learning | January 2, 2015

(I am a very advanced child and have a large vocabulary at a very young age. This happens shortly after starting kindergarten, with the teacher fresh out of college.)

Me: *audibly farts* “Excuse me, I just flatulated.”

Teacher: *calls dad* “Sir, your daughter just informed me that she ‘flatulated.'”

Dad: “Did she say ‘excuse me’?”

Teacher: “Well, yes, but—”

Dad: “Then what’s the problem?”

Teacher: “Your FIVE YEAR OLD just told me that she ‘FLATULATED!'”

(After coming home from school.)

Dad: “Honey, I’m proud of you!”

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A Recession In Behavior

| Learning | October 20, 2014

(I work at a small K-12 private school. I teach high school Spanish, but the only classroom available when I was hired is on the kindergarten hall. During my planning period I hear a particularly bad tantrum occurring outside my door. I poke my head out of my classroom to see a class of four year olds going out to recess.)

Kindergartener: “Mrs! Mrs!” *points to classroom* “There’s two boys crying in there!”

Me: “Oh, no! That’s not good. ”

Kindergartener: “Yes, Mrs. And misbehaving!”

Me: “You don’t misbehave, do you?”

Kindergartener: “No, Mrs. I get to have all MY recess.”

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It’s Going To Be One Of Those Years

| Learning | August 17, 2014

(I’m five years old, and I have just started kindergarten. My teacher is asking us when our birthdays are. My sister and I are a year apart with birthdays only a week apart, so our celebrations are usually combined and not always on a consistent date. From that, we get this:)

Teacher: “[My Name], when is your birthday?”

Me: “Well, this year it was on my birthday but this year I don’t know.”

Teacher: “…”

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