(I am a kindergarten teacher, and I’m meeting a student for the first time.)

Me: “What is your favorite color?”

5 year-old: “Stool.”

Me: “Let’s try that again…”

(I work in biotechnology, specialising in IVF (assisted reproduction). On my daughter’s first day in kindergarten, I receive a call from the principal. She had introduced herself to the class in an interesting fashion.)

Daughter: “Hi, I’m [Daughter], and my daddy gets women pregnant.”