Must Have Learned It From His Dear Papa

| Learning | December 17, 2013

(My brother’s kindergarten class is learning about lumberjacks.)

My Brother: “I know a good song about lumberjacks!”

Teacher: “Okay. Would you like to sing it?”

My Brother:I’m a lumberjack and I’m okay—

Teacher: *blushing furiously* “Not that one!”

(That warranted a very interesting parent-teacher conference!)

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All Wound Up About The Clock

| Learning | November 15, 2013

(When my parents taught me to read a clock growing up, I had issues with 12-hour time. Since my dad worked in an industrial plant which operated on 24-hour time, they tried that and I found that naturally easier. It is my first day of Kindergarten; the teacher is setting expectations with all us kids.)

Teacher: “So you will be coming here Monday to Friday at 12 noon, and then your parents will come pick you up at 3 o’clock.”

(I start bawling.)

Teacher: “What’s wrong?”

Me: “I can’t stay until 3 o’clock!”

Teacher: “Why not?”

Me: “Bed-time is 20 o’clock!”

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Throwing Up And Owning Up

| Learning | November 2, 2013

(I’m an assistant principal. One of my duties is greeting students and parents in the morning. One of our kindergarten students comes up to me.)

Kindergarten Student: “Are you the manager of this school?”

(Trying not to smile, I reply…)

Me: “No, I’m the assistant principal.”

Kindergarten Student: “Oh, so who do I need to tell about throwing up in the lobby?”

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Teach Them The Ways Of The Dark-Ale Side

| Right | September 5, 2013

(I’m picking up my daughter from nursery, and overhear a conversation with one of the other parents and a member of staff.)

Parent: “Tell her what mommy is going to do tonight.”

Two-Year-Old: “Mummy is going to the bar and getting pissed!”

Staff: “Err…”

Parent: “Isn’t it funny!?”

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That Really Hit A Nerve

| Learning | May 25, 2013

(We are on the playground. I am the teacher and a child comes running up to me crying.)

Child: “Miss [name]! I fell down on the side and hurt my elbow and it REALLY hurts!”

Me: “It looks like you’re going to be fine, sweetie. I think you just hit your funny bone.”

Child: “It’s not funny!”

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