Throwing Up And Owning Up

| Learning | November 2, 2013

(I’m an assistant principal. One of my duties is greeting students and parents in the morning. One of our kindergarten students comes up to me.)

Kindergarten Student: “Are you the manager of this school?”

(Trying not to smile, I reply…)

Me: “No, I’m the assistant principal.”

Kindergarten Student: “Oh, so who do I need to tell about throwing up in the lobby?”

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Teach Them The Ways Of The Dark-Ale Side

| Right | September 5, 2013

(I’m picking up my daughter from nursery, and overhear a conversation with one of the other parents and a member of staff.)

Parent: “Tell her what mommy is going to do tonight.”

Two-Year-Old: “Mummy is going to the bar and getting pissed!”

Staff: “Err…”

Parent: “Isn’t it funny!?”

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That Really Hit A Nerve

| Learning | May 25, 2013

(We are on the playground. I am the teacher and a child comes running up to me crying.)

Child: “Miss [name]! I fell down on the side and hurt my elbow and it REALLY hurts!”

Me: “It looks like you’re going to be fine, sweetie. I think you just hit your funny bone.”

Child: “It’s not funny!”

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Dry Humor

, | Related | April 3, 2013

(I am four years old. I am taking an IQ test to see if I can start kindergarten a year early. My dad is watching the test from behind a one way mirror.)

Tester: “What’s a liquid that comes in a bottle?”

Me: “Beer!”

Tester: “…Okay. Why don’t you tell me another one?”

Me: “Wine!”

Dad: “Is this where child protective services show up?”

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A Bit Young To Be So Off-Color

, | Learning | March 12, 2013

(I am a kindergarten teacher, and I’m meeting a student for the first time.)

Me: “What is your favorite color?”

5 year-old: “Stool.”

Me: “Let’s try that again…”

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