Unfiltered Story #118211

, , | Unfiltered | August 14, 2018

I am a counter person we have a small but great menu

Customer: hi do you have peel and eat shrimp?

Me: no we dont, sorry.  However we offer fried shrimp and some other popular options.

Customer: so you don’t have peel and eat shrimp?

Me: no, sorry.

Customer are you sure?

Me: yes i’ve been here for a while.

(The customer hems and haws then decides on a drastically altered version of our most popular item)

Customer: oh and i am local, can i get the discount?  I work at the psychic place around the corner !

Me:  ok, wait you work where?  Un nevermind….(price with discout)**  facepalm**

I suppose she can not see the future if its a resturant.

Locked In A Misunderstanding

, , , , , | Right | January 25, 2018

(I work at a small bed and breakfast. We don’t use magnetized keys for the rooms, just regular, old-fashioned keys. One morning, a guest walks up to me.)

Guest: “I left my keys in my room, and I’m now locked out of my room.”

Me: “Oh, that’s no problem! Just open the door; it’ll be unlocked!”

Guest: “No, it’s not! I am locked out.”

Me: “Ma’am, in order for you to lock the door to your room, you need your keys, which you say are in your room. The door is not locked.”

Guest: “Yes, it is! I stay in hotels all the time, and this happens to me every single time, and I always need a new key from the front desk! Are you going to help me or not?!”

(I get up and walk upstairs to the guest’s room. I simply turn the doorknob and the door opens.)

Me: “Here you go!”

Guest: “It was unlocked this whole time?! Why didn’t you tell me?! What kind of security is this, that doors can be left unlocked?!”

(I simply walked away.)

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Someone Needs To Write These Books

, , , , , | Right | August 23, 2017

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. This is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

Woman: *who sounds like a little old lady* “Hi, [My Name], do you have fitness books?”

Me: “Yes, we do!”

Woman: “Can you look up some titles for me?”

Me: “Sure!”

Woman: “The first is called ‘Call Me Miss Shapely Legs.’ Now, [My Name], please repeat that back to me so I know you have it right.”

Me: *puzzled by the odd title, but repeats it*

Woman: “You’re not speaking directly into the phone. Repeat it again, please.”

Me: *repeats it again, at this point still feeling sympathetic, thinking the woman is hard of hearing* “I’m sorry, ma’am, nothing comes up for it.”

Woman: “Really? Nothing? Why is that?”

Me: “Because we can’t get it in. It might be an older book, or out of print.”

Woman: “That’s too bad, I can’t believe you can’t get it! Well, the next book is ‘We Made Love Now I Have to Kill You.’ [My Name], repeat that back to me so I know you have it right.”

Me: *says it back quietly, as there’s a line of customers standing right there and I feel somewhat embarrassed saying this into the phone!*

Woman: “I can’t hear you. Speak up and repeat it again.”

Me: *repeats it more clearly*

Woman: “I still can’t hear you.”

Me: *practically shouts the title into the phone*

(Customers and coworkers at the counter are all staring at me and snickering. Lo and behold, this book doesn’t come up either.)

Woman: “Okay, [My Name], how about ‘I Have the Strength of 10,000 Muscular Women.’ Now [My Name], repeat that title back to me please so I know you have it right.”

Me: *gritting teeth, repeats it*

Woman: “You’re not speaking into the phone!”

Me: *convinced I’m being pranked at this point* “‘I. HAVE. THE. STRENGTH. OF. TEN. THOUSAND. MUSCULAR. WOMEN.’ I AM SPEAKING DIRECTLY INTO THE PHONE. NOTHING IS COMING UP IN THE COMPUTER FOR IT. WE DO NOT HAVE IT. I have to go. my boss is calling me.”

(My coworkers never let me live down that a little old lady prank called me.)

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