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Makes You Want To Throw In The Towel

, , , , | Right | December 11, 2012

(Two coworkers are discussing the recent Black Friday sale.)

Coworker #1: “I just heard two women arguing in the towel section.”

Coworker #2: “Over what?”

Coworker #1: “The towels. Apparently, they are a hot item this year.”

Coworker #2: “What do you mean?”

Coworker #1: “One lady was quicker than the other, so she snagged the towel when another lady also wanted the same one. They argued over it until the first lady broke the second lady’s finger.”

Coworker #2: *shakes head* “Over a towel!”


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BAD Behaviour

, , , , , | Related | June 27, 2012

(While driving in the car with my five-year-old daughter, I eavesdrop on an imaginary conversation that she has decided to have with Michael Jackson. She is switching back and forth between his voice and her own.)

Michael’s Voice: “But why don’t you like me?”

Daughter’s Voice: “You look creepy. And you sound like a girl.”

Michael’s Voice: “But…”

Daughter’s Voice: “I don’t care. Why are you even here? This is our car.”

(I should probably have her checked out.)


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Savior This Customer

, , , , | Right | April 30, 2011

(I am checking out an elderly customer.)

Me: “Okay, ma’am. You’re all set to go. Have a wonderful day!”

Customer: “You too. And keep Jesus close to you. He’s coming back, you know! Coming back to get all of us!”

Redefine Online

, , , | Right | April 4, 2011

(I work in the warehouse for a large, online-only retailer. I am standing outside talking to friends at the bus stop. A man drives past, slowing down to talk to me.)

Driver: “Hey, what’s this place here?”

Me: “It’s a warehouse for [Online Retailer]. This is where we ship out orders and whatnot.”

Driver: “So, I can go in there and pack up my own stuff to take home?”

Me: “No, you order things online. We process it, pack it, and then send it to you.”

Driver: “Wait. This isn’t a store?”

Me: “No, sir. We’re online only.”

Driver: “Well, then why do you have facilities? Doesn’t all that internet stuff come from the internet?”


This story is part of the “Don’t Know How The World Works” roundup!

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Houston Had It Easy

, , , , | Right | March 5, 2011

(It is 1995, and I am working in a video rental store.)

Customer: “What do you have in that’s good?”

Me: “Well, we just got Apollo 13 in. It’s the true story of the Apollo mission.”

(The customer looks perplexed.)

Me: “You know. ‘Houston, we have a problem.’

Customer: “Does it have any aliens in it?”


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