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The Grapes Of A Customer’s Wrath

, , | Working | March 12, 2013

(My friend is putting on a New Year’s party, so we’re at a liquor/party store looking for white wine and party hats. She goes to one register while I go to a different one to pay for some cards.)

My Friend: “Just the wine and hats, please.”

Cashier: “ID, please.”

(My friend searches her purse but realizes that she’d left her ID at home after changing wallets.)

My Friend:  Sorry, I don’t have mine. I’ll just buy the hats and get the wine later when I have my driver’s license on hand.”

Cashier: “We can’t sell you any alcohol if you don’t have ID. If you try to use your little fake one at home, we’ll destroy it.”

My Friend: “My ID is real, but at this point, I just want to buy the hats.”

Cashier: “No ID, no alcohol.”

My Friend: “But I don’t want to buy the alcohol now.”

(This goes back and forth for a bit. After I’ve paid for my purchases, I walk over to her register.)

Me: “What’s going on?”

Cashier: “I’ll tell you what’s going on! Your little friend here is trying to get me fired by selling her alcohol with no ID!”

My Friend: “I’ve told her several times after finding out my ID is at home. I just want to buy the hats.”

Me: “But you still won’t sell her the hats?”

Cashier: “No ID, no alcohol.”

Me: “But she’s not wanting to… never mind. Please bring up your manager.”

(The manager comes over, but instead of resolving the situation, the continuous loop of “No ID” and “I just want the hats” keeps going on. My friend is close to crying when I decide I’ve had enough. I’m normally very nice and don’t cause trouble, but I pick up the wine bottle and drop it. The bottle breaks and the wine is everywhere.)

Manager: “You’re paying for that, you little snot!”

Me: “That’s fine. While I’m paying, can I also get these hats that my friend has been trying to buy WITHOUT the wine, I might add, for the last few minutes of this pointless transaction?”

Cashier: “Smarta**!”

(And with that, the cashier finally rang up the hats and the cost of the wine. We never went back there!)

His Opinion Carries No Weights

, , , , , | Right | January 15, 2013

(My friend and I are both overweight, so we decide to start going to the gym to lose weight and get in shape for the first time in our lives. She is a bit self-conscious and is hesitant to go at first because she is afraid others will stare. After a couple of weeks, she stops worrying because most people at our gym go about their own business. We’d never had a problem until one day, when she is jogging on the treadmill.)

Rude Member: “Hey, fat b****! Why don’t you get off the treadmill before you break it?”

My Friend: *stops jogging* “What?”

Rude Member: “Get the f*** off the treadmill! Your fat a** is going to break it! Let someone who weighs less than Shamu use it! Just go away and take up space at [Fast Food Restaurant], where you belong.”

(My friend, looking like she’s about to cry, steps off the machine.)

Rude Member: “You fatties are a waste of space! You just eat everything in sight and lounge about, getting fatter, and then you complain about your weight. Why don’t you ever do something about it?”

My Friend: “Excuse me?! You just told me to get my fat a** off of a treadmill, where I was exercising, and go to [Fast Food Restaurant]. Then you have the audacity to tell me that I only sit around eating and not doing anything to lose weight? Get the h*** out of my face, you f***ing jerk!” *gets back on her treadmill and resumes jogging*

Rude Member: “I hope they charge you double when you break the machines, you cow!” *stomps away*

(Later, I saw the manager tearing up the rude member’s gym membership right in front of him. The manager had been informed of the whole incident by several other members!)


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Makes You Want To Throw In The Towel

, , , , | Right | December 11, 2012

(Two coworkers are discussing the recent Black Friday sale.)

Coworker #1: “I just heard two women arguing in the towel section.”

Coworker #2: “Over what?”

Coworker #1: “The towels. Apparently, they are a hot item this year.”

Coworker #2: “What do you mean?”

Coworker #1: “One lady was quicker than the other, so she snagged the towel when another lady also wanted the same one. They argued over it until the first lady broke the second lady’s finger.”

Coworker #2: *shakes head* “Over a towel!”


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BAD Behaviour

, , , , , | Related | June 27, 2012

(While driving in the car with my five-year-old daughter, I eavesdrop on an imaginary conversation that she has decided to have with Michael Jackson. She is switching back and forth between his voice and her own.)

Michael’s Voice: “But why don’t you like me?”

Daughter’s Voice: “You look creepy. And you sound like a girl.”

Michael’s Voice: “But…”

Daughter’s Voice: “I don’t care. Why are you even here? This is our car.”

(I should probably have her checked out.)


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Savior This Customer

, , , , | Right | April 30, 2011

(I am checking out an elderly customer.)

Me: “Okay, ma’am. You’re all set to go. Have a wonderful day!”

Customer: “You too. And keep Jesus close to you. He’s coming back, you know! Coming back to get all of us!”