Not A (Thirty) Second Chance

, , , , | Right | September 13, 2018

(I work at an organic winery. Our hours are ten am to six pm every single day, Monday through Sunday. It is 5:45, and I am alone in the shop. The phone rings.)

Me: “Hello, and thank you for calling [Wine Shop]. This is [My Name]; how can I help?”

Female Customer: “Hi, we want to come do a tasting. What time are you open until?”

Me: “Unfortunately, we close in 15 minutes, at 6:00 pm.”

Male Customer: “Okay, we are just leaving now. If we show up two minutes before you close, do you have to stay open?”

Me: *deep breath* “Yes, if you are here before six pm then I will stay open.”

(I couldn’t believe he had asked that, and awaited their arrival. 5:58 came and went, and soon it was six, so I locked the doors. Not even 30 seconds later, the doors rattled as someone tried to open them. Never had I been so happy for lateness.)

Unfiltered Story #118677

, , | Unfiltered | August 21, 2018

(Overheard in the meat department)
Mother (to son): Please stop molesting the meat.

Pink Eye To Your Red Face

, , , , | Healthy | November 6, 2017

(I’m in my second year of university, working part time and in full courses for science with labs. I don’t exactly have free time at convenient hours, so I decide to go to the doctor on campus to confirm my suspicion. They ask me to fill out a form covering the basics, including pregnancy, STDs, allergies, and a list of symptoms. I make it quite clear what my issue is.)

Doctor: “Hello, [My Name]. How are you feeling?”

Me: “Not bad.”

Doctor: “Do you need a pregnancy test?”

Me: “Uh… no.”

Doctor: “Well, we can screen for STDs. It will take about a week to get results back.”

Me: “That’s… that’s not what I came in for.”

Doctor: “Oh.” *looks at chart* “Why are you here, then?”

Me: *points to my swollen closed eye and slightly swollen face* “I think I have pink eye?”

(I don’t really know how he missed it, but he wrote me the prescription for antibiotics and I went on my way.)