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That’ll Teach Her To Infantilize Disabled People

, , , , , , , , | Friendly | January 23, 2023

My mom has a rare form of muscular dystrophy, and she has gradually used different assistive devices and mobility aids as her condition progresses — from cane to walker to manual wheelchair to electric wheelchair.

Once she started using a wheelchair, more and more strangers began to talk to her in a high-pitched “baby” voice, like she was a child.

By the time this woman approached her, she had come up with a plan.

Woman: *Cooing* “Hiii, how are yooou?”

My mom mimicked the woman’s tone exactly.

Mom: “Gooood, how are yooou? Whyyyy are weeee talking liiiike this?”

The woman looked shocked and then offended, and then she left without another word.

Sweet, Creamy Karma

, , , , | Right | CREDIT: revilo636 | January 22, 2023

Years ago, I worked for a big Canadian coffee and donut shop, mostly working the evening shift. If you aren’t familiar with [Coffee Shop], the cream and sugar are dispensed by a machine that is calibrated to an amount determined by corporate. If you are used to ordering at other coffee and/or donut chains, the number of sugar and creams you order may need to change depending on how much you actually want.

One night, we had these three bikers drive in, and we could tell they had been on the road for a while. Their ringleader was your stereotypical biker: tall, wide shoulders, big beard, and covered in leather. His friends were shorter but otherwise still had the whole tough but tired look going on.

My coworker was in the back working on soup and sandwiches, but it was only three people and it had been a slow night. No worries. I just needed to get these tired boys some caffeine and wish them a good night.

Ringleader: “I want an extra large twelve and twelve.”

Me: “Are you sur—”

Ringleader: “Did I stutter?”

Me: “Okay, but that’s only—”

Friend #1: “Did he stutter?!”

No. No, he did not…

So, off I went to make him exactly what he’d asked for. I grabbed a cup, put it under the sugar dispenser, and pressed the times-three button four times — twelve extra-large shots of sugar. Then, I went over to the cream dispenser and did the same thing. Now, fun fact: the cream and sugars are measured to dispense a twelfth of the cup size you are selecting. So, by the time all twelve shots of creamer were dispensed, the cup was basically full.

I stirred the creamy sugar mixture around before I poured an itty bitty splash of coffee into his cup, just enough to bring it up to the safety line on the cup. I tried asking him if he wanted me to heat it up or anything, but I basically got the same exact runaround from him and his friend.

Obviously, the guy knew what he wanted and he didn’t need me to tell him what he was ordering. They grabbed the rest of their order and drove out into the night.

Now, you would think that was the end of the story. The big, angry biker man got his nasty sugar-cream drink and left me sitting there wondering if the rest of the world had been drinking their coffee wrong this entire time.

But no, I was lucky to be working the next afternoon when he came back in! Mr. Ringleader came back in all by himself the next day and shuffled up to the counter. I could tell he must have been embarrassed because his voice was a lot softer this time; he knew he’d f***ed up.

The glorious aftermath is that he apologized and confirmed that the drink had been utterly disgusting. It turned out that he was used to ordering from another coffee chain where they use way smaller measurements for their cream and sugar. Once I knew where he was used to ordering from, I made him the approximately same drink using our measurements (roughly a triple-triple) and sent him on his way.

I only wish I could have seen his face when he took that first sip.

See Also: Night Classes And Late Work Shifts

, , , , , | Learning | January 21, 2023

My university offers a service where you can rent laptops for a few days. I’m currently having some tech issues and am making use of this service in the meantime.

It’s 7:00 pm on a Monday, only an hour before the front desk at our library closes when I head in to renew my rental. Last night was very long for me, and I didn’t get back to my apartment until around 7:00 am. Then, I had a major exam at midday, so I wasn’t able to get any sleep until the afternoon.

I know I’ve walked in looking like I’ve just rolled out of bed because, well, that’s exactly what I did.

Me: “Hi. Can I renew my laptop rental, please?”

The librarian at the desk looks at me and tsks but starts the process.

Librarian: *In a very condescending tone* “You know, you students need to pull yourselves together. You won’t survive a week in the real world sleeping in until the evening.”

I just stare at her for a moment, just completely stupefied at her comment, before I scowl at her.

Me: “Oh, I’m so sorry. I’ll just make sure to tell my friend to learn to schedule their unplanned emergency room visits better in the future, then.”

She blanched and blessedly kept her mouth shut for the rest of the process. For the record, my friend is okay!

Has No Hang-Ups About Hanging Up, Part 3

, , , , , , , | Right | January 19, 2023

I work in a tax office. We get a phone call from a client wanting to schedule an appointment to look at a letter from the state of Minnesota about her taxes. I can’t find her in the system. She keeps going off at me.

Client: “You make a mistake every year, and I get a letter every year! This is the absolute last time I’m using you!”

I keep looking for her in the system, and there are no records of her existing. She keeps chewing on me about that, too, because she’s such a loyal customer.

I set up an appointment with her and reconfirm the location. She hangs up. A little later, she calls back.

Client: “This appointment reminder text you sent said my appointment is in Minneapolis. Don’t you know my usual office is in [City about an hour’s drive to the south]?”

I talk with her more, try to figure out which office she usually goes to, and look its address up on Google.

Me: “Ma’am, you’re not even going to our chain. You’re going to one of our major competitors, [Office].”

Client: “Can I set up an appointment with you, then?”

She’s in a different district from the one I have, and we don’t have transparency with that office’s appointment scheduling system. I explain this to her rather carefully and tell her she has to call her local office, and she goes off at me again.

This time, while she’s ranting, I say, likely with ill-concealed pleasure:

Me: “Unfortunately, as there’s nothing I can do to help you, I’m going to hang up to free the line-up for other customers.”

Then, I hung up. Never have I felt so happy to be unable to help a customer before.

She called back, and I repeated the same line again and hung up again. This happened about three times. I’ll admit that it didn’t feel QUITE as good as the first time, but it’s still good to be able to cut someone off mid-rant.

The next day, my manager said they got a complaint through the corporate headquarters about it. I explained the situation. “Good job. Keep up the good work,” was my manager’s response.

Has No Hang-Ups About Hanging Up, Part 2
Has No Hang-Ups About Hanging Up

Entitlement Knows No Season

, , , , | Right | CREDIT: A**hole_Catharsis | January 19, 2023

A woman and her family come into the family-owned local seafood eatery where I work. She immediately asks:

Woman: “Do you have the mango-papaya Mahi-mahi?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry. It’s a seasonal dish.”

Woman: “That’s the only reason I came here! Why don’t you have it?!”

Me: “Because it’s seasonal, ma’am. That means we only have it [time of year].”

Woman: “Well, if you can’t make it, you have to make something as close to it as possible.”

After much haranguing and cross-communication, the chef settles on a tilapia with mango salsa as the closest compromise.

After the food is delivered, the woman takes one bite.

Woman: “No, it just doesn’t taste the same. I think I’ll just have pasta instead.”

I take the plate back to the kitchen, and the chef is LIVID. He storms out and slams the plate back in front of the woman and goes off.

Chef: “We bent over backward in the kitchen to accommodate you! This is the only dish you’re getting tonight, and you’re paying for it!”

It must have done the trick because the woman just accepted her fate. She and her husband switched plates, and apparently, he thought it tasted awesome. They paid out and that was that.

On their way out, the woman asked when we would have the mango-papaya Mahi-mahi again, to which we had to explain for a third time what “seasonal” means.