Many, many years ago, I worked in a small coffee shop on a university campus. Work was great and we had fun and loved the owners. Unfortunately, after I’d worked there for two years, they retired.

The new owner came in and put up multiple cameras — like eight in a three-meter-by-ten-meter coffee shop with all the cameras trained on the counter and staff areas. He started to proposition the girls — we were all university students, so seventeen to twenty-one years old — that they would get extra shifts if they went home with him. If you argued back, then you got your work hours cut down to the bare minimum.

Our uniform was just a loose black polo shirt with the cafe logo, black pants, and closed shoes — standard coffee shop staff attire. A couple of months in, the new owner decided that the uniform would change, but only for the girls.

Now the girls would wear a midriff top with the cafe logo and low-rise pants. The boys still got to wear the old uniform. We argued that it was unsafe — hot coffee and plates of food next to bare skin — and got told too bad, so sad. Staff got together and hashed out a plan.

On the first day of the new uniform, the girls showed up in the old uniform. The boys showed up in the midriff tops and the low-rise pants.

The new uniform policy lasted an hour. The boss was not impressed.

No one lost their job because our coffee shop was right next to the law faculty. One of the students had already had a conversation with her lecturer about what was going on. I’m pretty sure that if we’d been fired for non-compliance with uniform, that the boss would have found himself in far more trouble.

Many moons ago, I was working at a company with around employees. I worked in the design department as a design engineer. I’d receive job forms from sales and project managers, complete the drawings within the two-day time frame, and send them back. Drawings could be either done for “Client Approval” or “For Production”; the production files always took the longest.

We had some pretty hotshot sales guys who were completely up themselves; they were the most important people in the building and screw everyone else. They were the ones the saying “when everything is important, nothing is important” was modeled after. Everything was always in a rush and last-minute.

The king jerk of the sales team, [Sales Guy], and I actually got along okay. I did most of his jobs and I was happy to circumnavigate the “job form” policy to help him out of a bind for jobs that would take me a short amount of time to complete.

One day, [Sales Guy] came to me and asked me to help him out with one of his “binds”; he’d over-promised a client on time frames for drawings.

Me: “I’ll do what I can, but I can’t promise anything. You might need to wait for them until the end of the day.”

[Sales Guy] was not having any of this. He sent out an email to my boss, my boss’s boss, the sales manager, and me, complaining about how I was uncooperative and incompetent because I couldn’t do this work for him. I saw the email and I went straight to my boss and explained to him that there was no job form.

My boss replied to the email, CCing everyone.

Boss: “What is the job form number, [Sales Guy], so we can look this one up and see where it’s at?”

Obviously, [Sales Guy] couldn’t come up with a number because — shock, horror — he didn’t have one.

Everything blew over, I got in no trouble, and [Sales Guy] was given a stern talking-to.

The next day, [Sales Guy] came up to me all happy and cheery, asking about my weekend, complimenting my shirt, and, of course, asking if I could get this job done for him quickly for client approval. Honestly, it would have taken me ten minutes, but I replied:

Me: “Yeah, no worries. Just chuck in a job form and I’ll see how I go.”

His face kind of scrunched up, and I could see he wanted to have a go at me, but he walked off and into my boss’s office. I heard them start to yell and [Sales Guy] left the office fuming. Five minutes later, I got an Outlook notification of a new job form from [Sales Guy].

I bend the rules to help you out and then you try to screw me over? Enjoy your two-day wait time on drawings for your client!

In 2008, a certain incredibly popular MMORPG is releasing its VERY anticipated second expansion. I’m working third-shift stock, and I am planning to grab a copy of said expansion as soon as it can be legally sold after midnight. During the pre-work huddle, our night manager lets us know the electronics person has called out for the night, so there won’t be anyone to cover that area.

Me: “Um, we’re going to want someone to cover that area tonight. You know [Expansion] is being released tonight, right?”

Manager: “It’s not that big of a deal; we’re probably only going to get a couple of people getting it tonight. I can cover it if they need it.”

Me: “You’re not serious? We have two full displays of it in the back, and I’d wager we’ll sell out of at least one of them before day shift comes in.”

Manager: “No, we won’t. It’ll be fine.”

Me: “There are literally already people in the store waiting for midnight.”

Manager: “I said it’ll be fine!”

Me: “Oooookay, then.”

Fast forward an hour or so. The manager stops by the area I’m stocking.

Manager: “I don’t appreciate you questioning me in front of everyone.”

Me: “I was just pointing out that we’re going to need someone in electronics in about an hour because we’re going to be slammed.”

Manager: *Rolling his eyes* “Fine. I’ll make you a bet. If it’s really as busy as you say, I’ll do your end-of-night cleanup. If it’s not, you’re on cardboard baler duty the rest of the week.”

Me: “Deal.”

Fast forward another hour, and the clock hits midnight. I can hear the crowd from my area, which is nearly halfway across the store. Cue frantic paging from associates who happen to be walking past. I take my lunch break and join the insanity, getting my copy before we sell out. I actually underestimated the crowd; we are halfway through our second display unit of said expansion. I walk up to the checkout, and our frazzled manager, who is usually VERY put together, glares at me.

Me: “What? I’m on lunch.”

Manager: “I hate you. So much.”

Me: “I did warn you. Would you like me to at least put all of my cardboard in carts so you can do my clean-up, or is that included in the deal?”

Manager: “I am not doing your clean-up.”

Me: “I thought we had a deal?”

Manager: “Absolutely not. Clean-up is part of your job.”

Me: “Wow. Sore loser, much?”

I left with my copy of the expansion, put it in my locker, and enjoyed the rest of my lunch break. When the end of my shift approached, my manager walked past, looked at my carts full of cardboard, and immediately went to find something else to do. No, he never made good on his end of the bet. But he did at least listen in the future when I pointed out situations where we were going to be selling highly-anticipated releases. So, I guess I can chalk it half up in the “win” column?

My wife used to be a corporate travel agent. She handled software companies and airplane companies. She had done this for over a decade and was really, really good at it.

One day, out of the blue, she was let go. Apparently, she was talking to someone on the phone and let out a sigh. The bigwig on the other end took this as a slight and asked that she be fired. My wife was the only person who handled these accounts for years, so there were no notes or guides on how to handle these clients.

After this, I noticed that, day after day, she would get a call and instruct the person on the other end of the call how to do her old job.

Me: “What’s up with those phone calls?”

Wife: “They keep asking for my help because they don’t know what to do.”

At the end of the week, she’d put in at least twenty hours talking to her replacement, trying to help them out.

The following Monday rolled around, and she got another call. My wife was away from the phone and I picked up. As I suspected, it was her old employer. I can be a nice guy, but this had been pissing me off. They asked for my wife and I confirmed that it was her old employer.

Me: “She doesn’t work there anymore.”

Former Employer: “I just needed to ask her a few questions.”

Me: “Your company fired her for sighing.”

Former Employer: “I’m sorry about that, but we have a few questions.”

Me: “She spent over half her week last week talking to you. She doesn’t work there anymore. If you want her to train your staff, you will need to bring her in as a consultant.”

Silence.

Me: “The hourly fee for her consulting with you will be $45 an hour. I’ll be sending your company an invoice for the twenty hours she has already spent with you. After receipt of the $900.00 from your company, we can talk about further training. Any further communication will be also billed at $45 an hour.”

Former Employer: “Okay, thank you.”

They hung up.

I could’ve been nicer, but having worked many contract jobs in my past, I’ve found that if you keep helping them after you are let go out of a sense of loyalty, they will keep using you at no cost. I never sent the invoice; just having them not call gave us a sense of freedom and peace worth way more than the $900.

The best thing is that my wife wound up getting a job at one of the software companies she’d dealt with before, testing a travel agency app they were designing. She got a substantial raise, as well.

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I work in a small company where everyone knows everyone, so I am surprised to see a new face in the break room. Oddly, the newcomer also seems to know a group of other guys that have worked here for a while as he is having a loud and “lively” chat.

I sit down at a nearby table and can’t help but listen in.

New Guy: “It’s just bulls***.”

Coworker: “So, what happened?”

New Guy: “They suspended me for my ‘attitude.’ They were going to fire me, but [Ex-Team Leader] left so they had to let me back.”

Coworker: “They just brought you back, just like that?”

New Guy: “Yeah, something about there being no evidence anymore.”

Coworker: “Sounds like he did you a favour.”

New Guy: “No, he’s a d**k — all management are. Just because I was a bit late once.”

Coworker: “To be fair, [New Guy], you were late a lot. Didn’t you threaten [Ex-Team Leader]?”

New Guy: “Yeah, but they had no proof. Besides, what’s the problem?”

Coworker: “Err… yeah.”

New Guy: “I’ve got a meeting with that human resources b****, and then I’m gonna spend the afternoon getting some shut-eye in my car where there’re no cameras.”

Coworker: “Yeah… thing is, mate, I’m the new team leader. You report to me now, and we can’t have your lateness or sleeping on company time. Come on; we need to get to this meeting.”

New Guy: “Oh, I see. You’re one of them. You think you know someone. Yet another c**t in the machine.”

Coworker: “Come on, mate. No need to be like that. Let’s get to the meeting.” 

They both walked out. They made it just outside the door before the new guy started shouting and swearing. I just made out him storming off to his car and not returning. I guess he quit because I never saw him again. I don’t think he was a great loss.