Ho-Mo You Didn’t!

| Friendly | February 5, 2016

(I’m female and have just sung a love song by a male singer with lyrics that clearly indicate the other person is female but not the singer’s gender. Females usually change the lyrics to indicate a male. I sang the original. A stranger grabs me on the way back to my table.)

Stranger: “Why did you sing that to a girl? You sing nice but that was very weird and made me feel so awkward.”

Me: “Is that a problem?”

Stranger: “Yes, you are a girl! You should sing to a boy!”

Me: “Not if I’m gay.”

Stranger: “Ewww, get away from me.”

Me: “Glad to.”

(As I was walking away his friend says to him:)

Stranger’s Friend: “That was rude!” *to me* “Sorry!”

(The next song I choose is a love song with lyrics clearly indicated the singer as male and the other person as female. I sang it as female for both. That particular stranger is glaring at me, I glare back and walk a different way back to my table.)

Stranger: *yelling so everyone can hear* “Disgusting homo!”

Stranger’s Friend: *slaps him in the head* “You’re the disgusting one!”

 

Dear readers! This story was originally submitted without a title, to encourage you to come up with a witty submission yourselves. After considering the many amazing suggestions in the comments section, we have come up with the title above. Thank you all for participating; we had a blast reading them!

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I Just Got To Break Free Of Gaga

| Friendly | April 14, 2014

(Some friends and I are at a bar on karaoke night. As a group we get up and sing, very poorly, ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ by Queen.)

Friend: “We were great! Don’t you think we were great?”

Me: “Oh, yeah. Way better than Freddie Mercury.”

Friend: “Who?

Me: “[Friend], I love you, but you have to stop listening to Lady Gaga.”

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