(I am up at the front of the store on the registers, and my store manager is nearby. Our building is on the larger side. You’d have to yell pretty loudly to talk with someone at the back of the store from the front, which is why we use radios. As I am ringing up a customer, we hear someone sneezing from at least halfway back in the store.)

Unknown Person: “Ah-CHOO! Ah-CHOO! AH-CHOO!”

(My store manager walks to the computer and picks up the phone.)

Store Manager: *on the overhead PA system* “Bless you.”

(The customer and I both start giggling, and we can hear someone, presumably the one who sneezed, crack up loudly in the distance. I soon find out who was sneezing.)

Coworker: *five seconds later over our radios* “Thank you.”

(At my office, we have a ten-minute late policy that we can be lenient on, but we usually aren’t if we are very booked. Today is one of those days.)

Customer: *calls in* “Hi. I am running a little behind; my mother’s car broke down.”

Me: “Okay, thanks for letting me know, but just so you know, we do have a ten-minute late policy; if you are more than ten minutes late we are going to have to reschedule your appointment.”

Customer: “But it’s not my fault; I’m not going to leave my mother out here alone.”

Me: “I understand, but we still keep the policy because we have other patients to see, as well.”

Customer: “Well, I’m not going to leave her alone out here.”

Me: “I understand, but like I said, if you are more than ten minutes late we will have to reschedule.”

Customer: “I don’t think you do understand; can’t you be a little lenient?”

Me: “Unfortunately, no. We have a heavy schedule today and we can’t budge on our policy.”

Customer: “Fine.” *hangs up*

(She shows up with only a few minutes to spare; luckily I am not the one who checks her in, but I overhear what she says.)

Customer: “The person we talked to on the phone was very rude.”

Coworker: “I don’t remember anyone being rude.”

Customer: “Well, they were, and I had to break all the laws to get here on time.”

(Next time just cancel your appointment; no one is forcing you to be here.)

(A guest walks into the lobby of the hotel where I work.)

Me: “Hello, how are you this evening?”

Guest: *suave voice* “Wealthy.”

Me: *confused blank stare*

Guest: *awkwardly* “Um, nothing, just checking in.”

Me: “All righty.”

(We have several locations, but because people are out sick or on vacation, some locations don’t have certain “specialists” at the moment, especially the ones that don’t see as many people coming through. Most callers have been understanding about this, and have been fine with speaking to whoever is available. This caller, however…)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. This is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

Caller: *clearly irritated* “Is this the [Other Location] branch?!”

(I glance at the screen to see which phone number she called.)

Me: “Uh, no, ma’am. You’ve called [Our Location], but I can get you over to [Other Location].

Caller: *sarcastically* “Oh, can you, really? I have talked to several people and been transferred a dozen times, and I’m still not talking to someone out there!”

(I find this odd, as there are only three operators currently working, and in the last half hour each of us has only taken a couple of other calls. If one of us had heard from this woman more than once, we would have said something to the others. I know I haven’t gotten her, as all my callers to this  point have been men. Not to mention, if she wants the location she says she does, then it seems odd that she’s calling the number to a different branch.)

Me: “I’m very sorry about that, ma’am. I can definitely get you over to someone; what do you need to speak with someone about?”

Caller: “About [issue]!”

Me: “Certainly—”

Caller: “And I want to talk to someone at [Other Location]! I keep getting every other branch but that one!”

Me: “I do apologize. The person who usually handles [issue] at that branch is actually out sick today, but someone else can definitely help you out. If you need to come in and that location is most convenient, we can get someone out there for you.”

Caller: “I want someone who is actually sitting in the [Other Location] building!”

Me: “Ma’am, we only have one person at that location who can handle [issue], and she’s out sick today. But if you’ll give me just one moment, I can get someone on the line who can meet you at [Other Location]—”

Caller: “Oh, so, you’re going to transfer me, too?!”

Me: “Uh, yes, ma’am. I only answer the phones, so I wouldn’t be able to help you with [issue], but I’ll keep you on the line until I can get someone who can help. Bear with me one moment, please.”

(I put her on hold to start a transfer over to the next nearest location to her. One of the “specialists” answers after only a couple of rings and I breathe a sigh of relief.)

Me: “[Specialist], I’m really sorry, but I’ve got a cranky one for you, for [Other Location]. I tried to tell her someone could go out there if she needs, but apparently that isn’t good enough. She wants someone who is actually sitting at [Other Location], but, uh, that obviously can’t happen, and she’s pretty irate about it.”

Specialist: *sighs* “There’s always one, and she’s probably the one who hung up on [Other Specialist] twice already. Put her through.”

Me: “Here she is. Sorry, again.”

(I finish the transfer and shake my head.)

Coworker #1: “Was that a lady calling for [Other Location]? I just had her, and I told her pretty much what you just did. Just… didn’t do it more than once like you had to.”

Coworker #2: “I had her, too.”

Me: “Well, it sounds like she hung up on [Other Specialist] a couple times, probably after finding out that he wasn’t sitting in the building ten miles away. Some people…”

(The specialist messaged me just a bit later that the woman hung up on him, too, after being informed that, no, he was not sitting in the other building but could meet her out there. For some reason, she was apparently under the impression that they couldn’t help her because they weren’t in the building she wanted them to be in right that moment.)

(I am one of my podiatrist’s youngest patients, in my early 30s. I had to cancel my October appointment due to an appendectomy, and am back to the doctor in mid-November. The lobby of the podiatrists is usually full of senior citizens, between the ages of 65 and 90, but when I walk in with my husband for the appointment, the lobby is completely vacant. The only person in the office besides a nurse is our favorite receptionist, who is on the phone with someone who hangs up on her as we approach her desk.)

Me: “Um, [Receptionist]? Where’s the oldster convention?”

Receptionist: *laughs* “Oh, my God! [My Name]! I couldn’t get a hold of you; your number doesn’t seem to be valid! I’m sorry. [Doctor]’s in Phoenix; his mother was just hospitalized.”

Me: “Wow! I hope she gets better! Oh, and it’s an Arizona area code, so no big deal.”

Receptionist: *shocked* “You… You’re the first person who hasn’t let me know about their inconvenience at top volume. Anyway, the prognosis isn’t great, and he’s going to be there for… he said, like, a month to put her affairs in order! It’s been… Wow. It’s been so crazy over here!”

Me: “Yikes. It’s not easy dealing with long-distance family matters. Anyway, can you reschedule us?”

(After the appointment is rescheduled for early February, we spend the next hour swapping customer service stories. Our conversation is winding down, and we’re saying our goodbyes, as an irate woman slams the door open.)

Old Woman: “I demand to speak to the stupid little girl who—”

Me: “There are none here.”

Receptionist: “I’ll be with you in a moment, [Old Woman]!” *answers the ringing phone*

(The receptionist tries to mollify an angry patient over the phone, as the woman glares at my husband and me.)

Husband: “Perhaps you might try once more, with manners, once she’s off the phone.”

Old Woman: “Hmph!”

Receptionist: *hangs up phone angrily, and resets her smile* “Good afternoon, [Old Woman]! How are you?”

Old Woman: “I am furious! Furious! I got a call saying that the doctor isn’t in, and no one can see me until December 15th! How can that happen? Who decided this? You people will see me today!“

Receptionist: “No, ma’am. As I said in the call, earlier, [Doctor] and his brother, [Other Doctor], are visiting his mothe—”

Old Woman: “Well, it’s pretty d***ed rude to schedule a vacation right at the beginning of winter! What if someone breaks their foot? I need to be seen today!”

Receptionist: *flustered, then irate, as the phone rings yet again* “Vacation?! Really? Sorry, hold on, I’ve got to get this!”

(As the receptionist answers the phone, and starts dealing with yet another irate patient, I take the opportunity to talk to the old woman, and give her a little perspective.)

Me: “Do you have children, ma’am?”

Old Woman: “Yes! Why?”

Me: “Well, wouldn’t you want them by your side if you ever became gravely ill?”

Old Woman: “Of course! Don’t be stupid!”

Me: “Of course not, ma’am. Our doctor’s mother wants her sons by her side right now, because she is gravely ill. Our appointments are delayed because they’re in Arizona. Your appointment is in mid-December, because you’re available at that time.”

Husband: *points at me* “Her appointment’s delayed until February.”

Old Woman: *gapes like a fish* “February? But it’s November tenth!”

Me: *shrugs nonchalantly* “I know. But December and January are too hectic for me.”

Old Woman: “But still! I don’t know why it’s over a month…” *tilts her head, listening to the phone conversation, where we can hear the volume and anger from the man the receptionist is trying to calm down* “Has she been getting that volume all day?”

Me: “Yes. Every single call since we came here an hour ago. And she’s gotten it from every single person who has slammed their way in here, too.”

Old Woman: “Wow!”

Husband: “We were just distracting her with conversation. Hoping to be a bright point today.”

Receptionist: *hanging up the phone* “Okay, [Old Woman], I gave you the first appointment available the day he comes back. He left today, and will be back on the 14th, but not taking patients until the 15th.”

Old Woman: *oddly calm* “Of course, thank you. I am so sorry about how acted earlier, and appreciate your help in scheduling me soonest. You’ve been so wonderful, and I hope your day gets better. You know… I would want my sons to drop everything when I’m gravely ill, and I hope their mother’s condition improves.”

Receptionist: “Yeah… Thank you! You have a great day!”

(The receptionist told me at my February appointment that the old woman used to be a nightmare, but now took time to consider her actions before reacting, and was much calmer and kinder. I asked the doctor, and he said that because she was his first patient when he was originally due back, he flew the red-eye back immediately after his mother’s funeral, to make her appointment. He also said that the old woman sent flowers and a wonderful card after the appointment was over. I saw the old woman in March, when I was a customer at the store I worked at, berating one of our newest cashiers. The young cashier was close to tears because the old woman was yelling at her over “an expired f****** coupon.” A coupon! I called attention to myself and reminded her where we met. The old woman angrily paid for her purchase and harrumphed her way out of the store, but not without making a complaint to the greeter. She apparently reconsidered her behavior after that, because she did send the cashier flowers and a brief apology note. It’s been well over a year, and we haven’t seen her since.)