See If He’ll Fetch The Schtick

, , , , , , | Right | March 9, 2011

(A customer comes in and is looking at our Hanukkah stuff for dogs.)

Customer: “How cute! Hanukkah stuff for dogs.”

Me: “We also have Hanukkah collars.”

Customer: “How do you know if your dog is Jewish?”

This story is part of our crazy pet owner roundup!

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A Grave Realization

, , , | Right | January 12, 2011

(After a fellow waitress has passed away, we have just returned from her funeral.)

Customer: “Oh, my gosh, we are so glad to see you here!”

Me: “Why?”

Customer: “We thought that it was you that had passed away!”

Me: *after thinking for a minute* “I didn’t see you at my funeral!”

This story is part of our Perfect Comebacks roundup!

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Ignoring The Lack Of An Elephant In The Room

, , , | Right | September 16, 2010

Customer: “Someone told me you have elephant rides out there.”

Me: “No, ma’am, we have camel rides and pony rides, but no elephant rides.”

Customer: “But no elephant rides?”

Me: “No, ma’am, we don’t have elephants here.”

Customer: “But someone told me you had elephant rides!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but that person must have been mistaken. We do not have elephant rides.”

Customer: “Well, where can I ride an elephant, then?”

This story is part of our Clueless Zoo Customers roundup!

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Bird Brained, Part 6

, , , , , | Right | September 3, 2010

Me: “Is there anything else I can do for you?”

Customer: “No, just the birdseed will do.”

Me: “All right then.”

Customer: “CACAAWW!”

(Moments later, a similar bird call comes from the other end of the store.)

Me: “What was that?”

Customer: “Oh, that’s my wife. We do that so we can always find each other wherever we go.”

This story is part of the American States roundup!

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IQ Falls In The West

, , , | Right | August 21, 2010

Me: “All right, sir, in order to get this taken care of we will need to know the manufacturer of brand name of the product.”

Customer: “I’m sorry, I don’t quite understand.”

Me: “The company that makes the product.”

Customer: “I still don’t understand.”

Me: “It will state who makes it on the product.”

Customer: “Oh, I know! It was China!”

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