The one time I don’t turn in my work for my senior English class, I have a legitimate excuse.
Teacher: “Where’s your homework?”
Me: “My cat dragged it into the other room, and…”
I don’t know how to say that she peed on it.
Teacher: “Half points! Best excuse I’ve ever heard!”
I work at a cellular store. It is almost closing time and it has been a rather long day. A woman walks in holding a cell phone, so I get up and go through my usual greeting.
Customer: “My phone will not turn on.”
I take the phone from her and examine it. It is an extremely popular model that is built as one solid piece, meaning that it can’t be taken apart without special tools. It has some unusual-looking damage which I choose to ignore for the time being.
Customer: “The phone is only a few months old and it won’t turn on. I think it just needs a new battery.”
I examine it closer and realize the damage is localized to the seam between the front and back half of the phone. I have a guess and decide to probe.
Me: “Um… ma’am… did you try to remove the battery?”
Customer: “Well, yes, of course. I couldn’t find any place to pop the back off, but I just slid a knife in there around the edge and pried it off. I checked online and found instructions on how to remove the battery, but the screws were too small so I just put it back together and came here.”
I notice that not only was the back removed, but it has been super glued back on, so it will be completely impossible to service.
Me: “Well, ma’am, the phone has a one-year manufacturer’s warranty against failure, but unfortunately, since you removed the back, I won’t be able to file it as a warranty claim, since the warranty is rendered void if the phone is taken apart by the user. I would be happy to troubleshoot the phone, but if I can’t get it to work, the only other options are to buy a new one at full price or file an insurance claim if you have insurance on your plan.”
Customer: “Well, I don’t have insurance, but this is ridiculous! How was I supposed to know I couldn’t take the back off? I just need it fixed or replaced, so let’s just submit it under warranty!”
Me: “As I just told you, I can’t, since you voided the warranty.”
Customer: “That’s absolutely ridiculous! That can’t be correct! If that is true, then why was I able to find instructions on doing it online?”
I am a little annoyed by now.
Me: “Ma’am, the Internet has information on how to do almost anything, but that doesn’t automatically make it a good idea.”
Customer: “So, you’re not going to help me at all?! This is the worst customer service I have ever had! I am going to report you to corporate and they will get me a new phone and I’m sure they will have something to say to you!”
Me: “Well, ma’am, I’m sorry I was unable to assist you, but I assure you they will provide you with the same information I did. Here is their number if you would like to speak with them.”
She grabs the card and storms out. As she is leaving she turns and yells out:
Customer: “I’ll make sure you’re fired for this!”
I never saw her again and never got a call from corporate.
Back when they first made texting and driving illegal, a lot of people were still doing it.
My friend is rammed by another woman in a parking garage. When the police officer shows up, he thinks the woman who rammed my friend was just looking for a parking space, so he is writing a warning.
Woman: “I’m so sorry; I shouldn’t have been texting—”
Police Officer: “What?! Texting?!”
He ripped up the warning and gave her a very expensive ticket, instead.
This story has been included in our June 2020 roundup as one of that month’s most memorable stories!
I work at a popular supermarket as a cashier. I am on spring break from college. We have just had to rearrange our entire grocery department because corporate told us to.
I have a lady and her adult son come up to my register. The lady is in one of our electric scooters. The son comes first and begins putting his items from a larger cart on the belt, and I begin scanning them.
The lady makes her way around her son and comes right up to me.
Lady: “It is rude to begin scanning the items before the customer is at the register.”
Son: “What?”
Lady: “She’s supposed to wait. That’s just good customer service. I’m so tired of all this electronic s*** making you kids think you can do whatever you want.”
I am shocked. It is an expectation of our store and our customers to start scanning as soon as items are on the belt so customers can leave faster.
The lady begins slamming things from the basket on her scooter onto my belt. I try to avoid eye contact because I am not good with confrontation.
Lady: “I should make her void this entire order and start over.”
The son rolls his eyes.
Lady: “I wish they had just left the store the way it was. It’s way too hard to find anything in here! I’m going to shop at [Another Store] from now on!”
I later learned that she yelled at my managers before she came to my line about the rearranging of the store. My managers only deal with the front end and don’t have anything to do with the rearranging. It’s sad to see that some people think the world revolves around them.
Me: “Huh. Did you know that women’s hearts beat faster than men’s?”
Male Friend: “That’s because we’re so d***ed beautiful.”
Me: “Are you sure it’s not from trying to run away from all the creeps?”
Female Friend: *Chuckles*
