I look younger than I actually am. I’ve just gotten off work, and my makeup is smeared because it’s a hot day. A man comes up to me.

Man: “Excuse me, ma’am, my partner and I were just having a disagreement about how old you are. She says you’re thirty-five; I think you’re sixteen.”

Me: “I’m nineteen.”

Man: “Oh, okay.” *To his wife* “We were both wrong.”

I work at a store that sells used DVDs, CDs, and video games.

Customer: “Excuse me, young lady, is this movie good for a ten-year-old?”

I look at the cover; it’s the movie “Heavy Metal 2000.”

Me: “I wouldn’t recommend it. There’s female nudity, a sex scene, lots of blood and death, a scene where a reptilian’s flesh is burned away by acidic lava, scantily-clad women, a lot of loud cursing…”

Customer: “That doesn’t sound so bad.”

Related:
Rated R You Serious?, Part 3
Rated R You Serious?, Part 2
Rated R You Serious?

I am cashiering at a big box store. A customer that seems a little off comes up to my register. I scan his items and tell him his total. He hands me a receipt.

Me: “Sir, your total is [total].”

The customer gestures to the receipt.

Me: “This is a receipt for a prepaid phone card.”

Customer: “Use that.”

Me: “This just shows you paid for a prepaid phone card.”

Customer: “I cashed a $100 check to pay for the phone card back in electronics.”

Me: “Okay, and that shows you paid for the phone card. Your total is [total].”

Customer: *Gestures to the receipt* “I want to use that. They said you’d take care of it up here.”

Me: “I can’t help you here at the register. If you go up to the customer service desk, they will be able to help you.”

After a bit more back and forth, he goes up to the customer service desk. I turn to the next customer in line.

Me: “I’m still not quite sure what he wanted.”

Next Customer: “Me, neither.”

As I was ringing out the next customer, I couldn’t hear the conversation, but I saw a front-end supervisor come up. She then called over the head front-end supervisor. The customer talked to the head supervisor for a while, and then she walked toward the back, presumably to speak to the electronics associate. After a little bit, the customer threw his hands up in the air and walked out. Almost as soon as he left, the head supervisor came back with the asset protection manager. I called to them that the customer had just left. It was certainly the most interesting transaction of the night.

I’m working at the jewelry counter of a big box store when I hear a noise from the purses, which are nearby. I then hear someone yell, “F*** this place!” and then stomp off. There is a customer browsing, and we give each other a look.

Me: “Sounds like someone is having a tantrum.”

Customer: “Yep.”

Me: “I should probably go check that out.”

I walk over to the aisle and see purses all over the floor. I walk out into the main aisle and see the supervisor and the manager standing there. I can tell by the looks on their faces that the customer had just stormed past them.

Me: “That customer just threw my purses all over the floor.”

My supervisor later told me that the customer was upset because the service desk wouldn’t take back her return, and on her way out of the store, she swept her arm across a clothing table and knocked all the clothes all over the floor. My supervisor also told me that the manager had said if the customer came back, she would be removed from the store.

Customer: “I have a complaint.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that. What’s the problem?”

Customer: “This!”

She holds up a copy of “The Fast And The Furious.”

Customer: “This is too violent for my child! Why didn’t the employee tell me?”

Me: “I’m sorry, did you catch the employee’s name?”

Customer: “No, but she should have told me!”

Me: “Did you have your child with you at the time?”

Customer: “No! I came here doing my weekly shopping, and I decided to get a movie because my son’s been so good lately.”

Me: “How old is your child?”

Customer: “Seven!”

Me: “We have many movies that are more appropriate for seven-year-olds. May I recommend [New Movie] or [Other Movie]? Tell you what: we’ll do a return and you can pick out another movie.”

Customer: “Any movie?”

Me: “Any movie that costs however much you paid for The Fast And The Furious.”

We did the return and she chose “Angry Birds.”