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Time And Aging Stop For No One

, , , , , | Working | March 28, 2018

(I’m 4’11” and relatively thin. I’m in my 30s but I’ll occasionally get mistaken for a child at first glance. This is one of those times. I am at a retailer for high-end mobile devices and computers to get a new band for my watch. [Employee #1] takes my name, checks me in, and says that someone will be with me shortly. I go to the island where the watches and bands are on display. I am wearing my watch on my left wrist. I pick up another watch of a different size and hold it to my right wrist to see how it would look on me. Within seconds, another employee comes running up to me.)

Employee #2: “PUT THAT DOWN! THOSE ARE EXPENSIVE!”

Me: “I was just–“

Employee #2: *takes the watch from my hand* “I don’t think your parents would appreciate if you broke this. It may look like a toy to you, but it’s several hundred dollars!”

(The employee then sees my watch I’m wearing and claws at my wrist to take it off. I jerk my arm away from him.)

Me: “Hey! This watch is mine! I’m just here to get another band for it!”

(Since I’m getting concerned that the employee is going to take my watch, my voice is a bit raised and panicked. This causes the people in the area I’m in to take notice, including [Employee #1], who comes running up.)

Employee #1: “What’s going on?”

Employee #2: “This kid is trying to take our display watches!”

Employee #1: “Uh, she isn’t a kid. I checked her in, and I saw her wearing the watch she has on now when she came in. She said she wants to buy a [Specific Band] for it.”

(Finally, [Employee #2] actually LOOKED at me, realized I’m older than I appear, and turned a nice shade of red. He was pretty quiet for the rest of the transaction.)

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They’re Not Deserving Of Any Credit

, , , , , , | Right | January 17, 2018

(It’s a normal evening at my store. I am checking out a long line of people when an older man in sunglasses hands me his credit card. I take it at first, thinking it’s our rewards card.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I’m not allowed to touch your card; it’s company policy.”

Customer: “I don’t care. You swipe it. It’s your machine, so you swipe it!”

Me: *scanning his items, attempting to give him back his card* “Sir, please take your card. I’m really not supposed to touch them or swipe them for you.”

Customer: “IT’S YOUR MACHINE! YOU DO IT!”

Me: *giving up, as at this point my line has grown by four people* “Credit or debit?”

Customer: “Figure it out!”

(I run the card as credit, then return it to him.)

Customer: *nastily* “It’s just good customer service!”

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It’s No Laughing Matter

, , , , , | Related | December 7, 2017

I was in my bedroom changing when my six-year-old son started to walk in. I was standing right behind the door so the door only opened a few inches before hitting me.

I called out to him, “I’m changing!” and his reply, in that sweet innocent voice of a young child, was, “Don’t worry, Mommy; I won’t laugh at you!”

Gee, thanks…

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The Internet Sucks!

, , , , , | Working | November 22, 2017

(I’m the awkward worker in this one. It is 1999, and I am working for a big electronics retailer. The Internet is beginning to be pretty ubiquitous, but you still run into people that have never used it before. One day a customer tells me he wants to learn “that Internet thing” and begins asking me a bunch of questions about it. I’m happy to show him some of the basics on one of our Internet-connected display computers.)

Customer: “I don’t even know where to start. What do people even use it for?”

Me: “Mostly to search for information. Say, for example, you want to find some info out about our store, you just go to this search bar here and type in our company name, and it will come up with a bunch of links related to us.”

(I type in our company name, and I’m a little embarrassed to see that the first hit is a blog website called “[RETAILER] SUCKS!” I try to do a new search before the customer notices.)

Me: “Uh… Or you can do a search on [Local Sports Team] and find out when they’re playing next.”

Customer: “Wait, wait, go back! What was that? It said ‘[RETAILER] SUCKS!’ Why would your Internet say that?”

Me: “Uh… well, it’s not our Internet; it’s the Internet. We don’t have control over everything that goes on it.”

Customer: “Oh, cool! So, anyone can put stuff on there?”

Me: “Yeah, pretty much. Apparently, these people don’t like us very much.”

Customer: “Neat! I’m going to look at this for a while!”

(He spent the next hour or so happily reading that blog on our display computer in the store. Later that night when I got home, I looked up that same blog and spent many hours of enjoyable reading on it myself. It was like a pre-2000s version ofNot Always Right” specifically for our company!)

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It Was A Woman, She Was Blue

, , , , , , | Right | November 21, 2017

Me: “[Company], how may I direct your call?”

Caller: “Someone just called me, but I don’t know who it was.”

Me: “Unfortunately, all of our calls come up as our switchboard number, so I’m not able to tell who it was, either.”

Caller: “She just called me, but I couldn’t understand anything she was saying.”

Me: “Unfortunately, unless you know the person’s name or what the call was about, I don’t know who to get you to.”

Caller: *as if this will clear everything up* “It was a woman.”

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