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Escalating The Call

, , , , | Working | December 15, 2018

(I have been getting robocalls on my cell for weeks. One gives the option to “press one to talk to an agent, or press two to be removed from our calling list.” I hit two every time, but still get calls. I get fed up one day and press one.)

Scammer: “Hello. My name is [Scammer]. How can I help you save money on your insurance today?”  

Me: “Hi. I’ve been getting calls for weeks from you guys, and I’ve always pressed two to be removed, but I’m still getting calls. I’m going to ask you one more time to remove me from your call list, or the next time you call, I’m going to contact my state attorney general’s office and report your business.”  

Scammer: “Well, I’d like to make my wife have multiple orgasms, but I can’t do that, either. Now… I could be a d**k and take your name and number and sell it to all the other insurance companies and put you on all of their calling lists, but since you’ve been so polite with me… I’ll remove you from my call list. GO DOLPHINS.” *click*

Me: “Well, that escalated quickly.”  

(On the positive side, I really haven’t received any more calls from this company.)

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Complaining Right Out Of The Gate

, , , , , | Right | November 25, 2018

(I work at a well-known baby retailer. Guests can return items bought off of their registry. The item will come back at whatever price was paid for it by the gift giver. After returning a baby gate that was given to the customer at her baby shower, she walks over to me.)

Customer: “The price for the gate came back at $19.99; it’s a sixty-dollar gate. I don’t understand.”

(I know she returned it off of her baby registry, because I walked past as the transaction occurred.)

Me: “The prices come back at the price that was paid for it, not exactly the price that is listed. If you want, I can pull up an electronic receipt seeing why there is a huge price difference. Most likely, the gate was on sale or she had stackable coupons. Let me take a look.”

Customer: *looking very frustrated* “I don’t understand! It’s a sixty-dollar gate!”

(I pull up the receipt online, and it shows the gift giver purchased the gate not only on sale, but had multiple coupons that brought the gate down to the $19.99 price.)

Me: “Looks like she got a great deal here; she managed to use coupons and get a sale price. Were you looking to exchange the gate? Was something wrong with it?”

Customer: “I’m just going to purchase a new gate. I didn’t use the old one. Uh, thanks.”

(She walks off, seeming to understand how the system works. Thirty minutes later, she walks up to the service desk with an $89.99 gate.)

Customer: “This is ridiculous that I have to pay out of pocket for this gate. I should’ve gotten full price for the other one!”

(The cashier calls me over to see if I can fix the situation. At my store we have a “say yes to the guest” policy. No matter how wrong the guest is, or how outrageous the request, we’re obligated to make sure the guest leaves happy.)

Me: “I’m sorry this happened. Let me fix this in the computer so you can have an even exchange.”

(I then adjust the price so that even though there is a price difference, she will not pay out of pocket for anything.)

Customer: “You did not have to do that. That’s not what I wanted. It’s just ridiculous that I would’ve had to pay out of pocket. That doesn’t make sense; you should probably fix your system because I am not happy!” *storms out still mumbling*

(I later received an email from my district manager saying I had pissed off a guest enough to where she called customer service to file a complaint. She demanded compensation for her time and for dealing with “such stupidity.”)

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No Slack For Your Birthday

, , , , , | Working | October 26, 2018

Coworker: “I heard it’s your birthday today?”

Me: “That’s right!”

Coworker: *suddenly irritated* “Well, you should have told us! We could have had a party!”

Me: “I really don’t feel like making a deal over it.”

(True, but what I was really thinking: I don’t want to be the group’s excuse for yet another day of slacking off.)

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Looking After One Child So Much You Forget About The Other

, , , , , , | Healthy | October 12, 2018

My mother was a pediatric cardiac nurse and was taking care of a boy who had just had open heart surgery. She left for the weekend, and this story was relayed to her the next morning she was in.

The mother of the young boy suddenly started to have severe abdominal pains during the night. The nurse realized after checking her over that she had forgotten to ask her a very important question: when was the last time she had had her period? The mother said, “Oh, it’s coming any day now.”

The nurse looked at the nurse supervisor who was helping her. This is a children’s hospital, so they had no labor and delivery ward. The supervisor started to panic. This hospital is up the road from another, adult hospital. So, the supervisor decided to put the mother in a wheelchair and push her down to the adult hospital. This hospital is located at the top of a hill, so as he was pushing her down to the other hospital, the wheelchair slipped out of his hand. Luckily, he caught her before she got too far away, and got her to the adult hospital before she delivered the baby.

When my mom got back that Monday, she went to the boy’s room and saw that the mother was back already. She found that the mother had been so focused on taking care of her son before his surgery and getting him the surgery that she hadn’t realized she hadn’t had her period in over seven months.

Luckily, both the son and baby were able to leave the hospital soon after, and last my mother heard they were all doing well.

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Was “Tough” To Make Out

, , , , , | Friendly | August 8, 2018

I’m a guy, and a female friend of mine has invited me to join her and a few of her friends to go to a bar they like. They are all rather attractive women, but as I’m already in a relationship, the idea of being romantically interested in any of them doesn’t even cross my mind.

At one point in the evening we are outside on the bar’s patio area, save for one friend who is still inside. I am in need of a new drink and ask if I can get anyone else one, since I’m heading to the bar, anyway. After getting people’s orders, I head inside and see the other friend standing by a table talking to a guy that I assume she knows. She’s on my way to the bar, so I stop and ask her if I can get her a drink, since I am in the mindset of buying the next round. She politely declines, but then the guy she was talking to says something to me. The music is very loud and I can’t make out what he said. I ask him to repeat himself, but I still can’t make it out. However, from the cadence it sounds like he is making a joke, so I smile at him and chuckle and continue on to the bar to get drinks before I forget what people have asked me to get.

Later, after our group leaves the bar, the friend who was talking to the guy says she is astounded by what I did. I don’t know what she means and ask her to explain. The guy she was talking to was just a random guy who was trying to hit on her. When I came up and asked if I could get her a drink, he thought I was trying to hit on her, too, so he was threatening to fight me for having gotten in his way.

So, from his perspective, he threatened to beat me up, and I looked at him, smiled, laughed, and walked away. He was so intimidated by that that he ended up leaving her alone for the rest of the evening.

I am in no way a “tough guy” and, in fact, tend to avoid conflict to a fault. But this particular time, I managed to accidentally “out-tough” a random guy at the bar.

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