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You Can’t Always Love What You Do

, , , , | Right | April 6, 2009

(While closing up shop alone one night, two gentlemen walked in and the following conversation took place.)

Customer #1: “So, uh… how much experience do you need to groom dogs?”

Me: “Well, none to start out. They start you as a bather, and then after about three months they send you through an academy to learn how to groom dogs.”

Customer #1: “You gotta go to school for this?”

Me: “Yes, it’s actually not as easy as it looks.”

Customer #1: “You make a lot of money?”

Me: “Well, that’s hard to say. We work on commission, so… it just depends on how many dogs you can do in a week.”

Customer #2: “You think if you’ve got a cruelty to animals charge, they’ll let you work here?”

Me: “…no.”

Off To A Great Start

, , , , | Right | January 19, 2009

Customer: “Hi, can I talk to a manager?”

Me: “I’m the manager on duty. What can I help you with?”

Customer: “YOU’RE the manager on duty?! You look like you’re about sixteen! *laughs with disbelief and scorn*

Me: “Well, I’m twenty-four, and I am a manager here. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Can I have a job application?”

Me: “Um… sure.”

Bureaucracy’s Hidden Benefits

, , , , , | Right | September 10, 2008

Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Client: “I’d like to know why I haven’t received my benefits.”

Me: “Let’s just pull up your case. Can I have your case number?”

(The client gives me their case number and I pull up the case.)

Me: “Well, it looks like you didn’t return your application. Without an application, we can’t approve welfare benefits.”

Client: “Can’t we do it over the phone?”

Me: “No, you need to come in and do an in-person interview so we can get an ID and a signature.”

Client: “So, we can’t do it over the phone?”

Me: “No, we need a face-to-face interview.”

Client: “That’s just too much work. I’ll just go get a job!” *click*


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