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I Started Managing When I Was Eight…

, , , , | Working | February 23, 2018

I recently graduated from college and am looking for a job. I hear of an opportunity for management training at a grocery store in my hometown. There are only three things listed for requirements: you have to be at least 18, you have to have a high school diploma, and some management experience may be necessary. There are no other requirements listed anywhere, not even on the website. I’m skeptical, but since I graduated with a degree in Business Administration: Finance, and I meet all the requirements, I think that I might have a shot. I even have a little bit of leadership experience from volunteer work I’ve done while in college.

I get to the interview and say that I am interested in the management training program. I am told that in order to get in, I need at least ten years of management experience. I ask about a lower-paying job as a shift supervisor. That job requires five years of management experience.

I am left wondering who approved of that job description and where they got their education.

Thinking Way Outside The Tissue Box

, , , , , , | Working | February 21, 2018

(A woman is filling out a job application outside my office as I work. She knocks on the door with a question, and then pauses.)

Applicant: “Oh, look at your tissue box!”

(I glance at it. It’s a normal tissue box from a multipack, sitting on my desk.)

Me: “Yeah. My allergies are sometimes bad.”

Applicant: “Oh, but it’s perfect! It would match my living room perfectly! Where did you get it?”

Me: “[Grocery Store], a while ago. Looks like they are [Brand]. Do you have any other questions?”

Applicant: “No, no. Oh, I buy [Brand], too, but I never get a beautiful green design like that! It would match my living room so well.”

Me: “Uh-huh.”

Applicant: “I got an okay taupe color, but it only came in a multipack with a terrible red box. Did you get that recently?”

Me: “A bit ago, I guess.”

Applicant: “Oh, that’s a shame. The patterns are seasonal, you know.”

Me: “I… uh… guess I’ve never noticed… or cared. How about you finish your application?”

Applicant: “I would do anything for a box like that.” *sighs*

(She leans against my door frame for a bit, then goes back to her application and turns it in to the hiring HR manager. I make mention to the HR manager that she seemed off, but the applicant passes the initial interview and is hired. On her second day of training, I’m walking through the store when our trainer pages me.)

Trainer: “Okay. You’re not going to believe this, but one of my trainees was walking down the hall to our room and saw your office door was ajar. Before I could stop her, she ran inside, grabbed your box of tissues, and ran out of the building!”

(The applicant was fired for theft and banned from our property. I hope the mostly-empty box of tissues brought her joy, though!)

Give The Job Seekers Some Food For Thought

, , , , , | Working | February 8, 2018

(I am a cashier in a locally-owned, market-style grocery store. Typically, when people come in and are looking for someone, they come ask a cashier since we are easy to find. During April and May, we do a small round of hiring for summer staff. A guy comes in and tells one of the coworkers he’s here for an interview.)

Coworker: “Okay, do you know with who?”

Guy: “I don’t remember his name.”

Coworker: “Do you know what department?”

Guy: “Uh… I think food.”

Coworker: “Well, this is a grocery store.”

(My coworker took him to meet the manager that was hiring when someone told her he was the only one with interviews scheduled.)

Who Run The World? Girls!

, , , , , , | Working | February 8, 2018

(We have a staff vacancy advertised in the window. Two people in their early 20s come in: a guy in a torn T-shirt with the word “BROKE” in huge lettering, and a girl. The girl comes up to the counter.)

Girl: “Hi, can you tell me what the hours are like for the job vacancy, please?”

Me: “Sure. It’s a 30-hour contract, but there’s usually extra overtime available. Shifts vary from week to week, but we do need you to be available to work weekends. Do you want to leave a CV?”

Girl: “Oh, it’s actually not for me; it’s him that’s looking.” *to guy* “Babe, did you bring any CVs?”

(The guy has been on his mobile the entire time, walking around the shop, prodding things on the shelves. He doesn’t even acknowledge us.)

Guy: *on phone* “I properly f***ed up on that one, mate… Nah, he didn’t find it yet.”

Me: “Umm, okay, no problem. You can apply online if you go to our website.”

Girl: “That’s great. Is it just [Shop].com?”

Me: “That’s right; there’s a tab at the bottom that says, ‘careers.’”

(The guy is still on phone, even louder now. Other customers are staring at him.)

Guy: “You know what, bruv? You go ahead and smoke it. Might as well get it smoked, innit?”

(He holds the phone to his shoulder to mute it, turns to the girl for the first time since they came in.)

Guy: “We done, girls?”

(The girl gave me a look that says she knew how awful he was, and they left. But not before he clicked his tongue and winked at me. I rather wish he HAD left a CV, so I could have given head office a name to avoid!)

Can’t Handle A Handover

, , , , | Working | February 7, 2018

(We are currently hiring for a large number of open positions, so we will take interviews from pretty much anyone. I am calling a job applicant.)

Applicant: “My roommate is looking for a job, as well; can I refer her to you?”

Me: “That would be great, actually! Can I have her phone number and name?”

Applicant: “Her name is [Roommate], and this is our landline; you can reach her at this number.”

Me: “All right. When would be a good time to reach her?”

Applicant: “She is standing here with me, right now. After we are done, just call back and she will pick up.”

Me: *pause* “Would it be possible for you to hand her the phone?”