In A World… Where People Do Not Listen

, , , , , | Working | June 11, 2019

(I work the front desk for a company that makes movie trailers. Sometimes clients will send gifts to my bosses and use mobile delivery services to do so. One day, a delivery boy from a delivery company comes by to drop off a gift.) 

Delivery Boy: “You guys work in entertainment, right? What exactly do you guys do?”

Me: “We make movie trailers.”

Delivery Boy: “What does [Gift Recipient] do?”

Me: “Um. He is a producer.”

Delivery Boy: “Oh, well, I’m an actor, so would it be all right if I leave my information for him?”

Me: “He produces movie trailers. He is not a movie producer.”

Delivery Boy: “I still like to leave my information for people, just in case.” *begins writing down his information*

Me: “But like I said, we make movie trailers; we don’t make movies. The studios send us the film and we cut it into a trailer. We are post-production.”

Delivery Boy: *continues to write down his “acting” information and then tries to flirt with me for five more minutes*

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At Least She Was Being Honest

, , , , | Working | May 25, 2019

(I’m interviewing new candidates for a role in the IT team that I manage. I’m on an interview panel with our senior HR officer and our director of finance, who is also my boss. We’re currently interviewing a young woman fresh out of university.)

Me: “Okay, [Candidate], what would you say is your biggest weakness?”

Candidate: “Hmm…” *thinks for a minute* “…I’m going to have to say honesty!”

Me: “Honesty?”

Candidate: “Yep, honesty. I’m too honest for my own good!”

(The HR officer, the financial director, and I all look at each other, confused.)

Financial Director: “I don’t think honesty really counts as a weakness.”

Candidate: “Yeah? Well, I don’t give a f*** what you think!”

(We didn’t hire her!)

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For Those Who Don’t Work, It Just Won’t Work

, , , , , , , | Working | March 27, 2019

The doctor office where I work has lost two front desk receptionists at the same time without a two-week notice. While we are looking for someone to replace both of them, there’s only two of us left to take on the workload of four. That leaves me stressed out until we find the replacement, since my workload has increased substantially.

One day during lunch, I go to a nearby convenience store to pick up some almonds for snacking. I stand at the cash register for a good three minutes, clearing my throat and looking around for somebody to check me out, because I’ve had a god-awful day already, and I really want to have that snack for those days when I can’t even get a lunch. Finally, a sulky woman comes to the front register and immediately complains, “I’m tired of working the register. You people should just stay home.” In a foul mood myself already, I make the statement that I can leave the items there for her to put up later, or she can just check me out, which is part of her job. She takes off her apron and tosses it down, saying, “I don’t even need this job.”

A week later, my office manager is conducting interviews and I see the same woman sitting in the lobby. My suspicions are confirmed when my manager meets with her for one of the front desk positions. After she has left, my manager comments that she is unsure about the candidate and I relate what happened at the convenience store. I also tell my manager, “Maybe she had a bad day, but if she is willing to quit like that, she will leave you in the lurch.”

My manager hired her, anyway, and when she found out how many patients we dealt with in one hour — 30, to her five customers per hour — she quit.

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Applicants Who Don’t Apply Themselves

, , , , , | Working | February 21, 2019

(My employee gets a contract for a project that needs about a dozen people. Since the physical office is very small, we decide to hire people who could work from home after receiving a short training session. We put up a job ad stating that is remote, full-time work, and I am told to screen the applicants through phone interviews.)

Applicant #1: “I don’t have a computer, so I’ll have to come to your office to work.”

Me: “We don’t have anywhere to put you. That is why we are only hiring for stay-at-home positions.”

Applicant #1: “But I don’t own a computer, so I’ll just come into the office.”

(Next:)

Applicant #2: “I can’t do full-time, so I’ll be working twenty hours and my girlfriend will do the other twenty.”

(Next:)

Applicant #3: “I’ve applied to your company before and I didn’t like the guy who interviewed me.”

Me: “He is not part of this project.”

Applicant #3: *rants about how much he hated my coworker*

(Next:)

Applicant #4: “I don’t have a computer, so is it okay if I go to my buddy’s house and use his?”

Me: “That is fine with me, but are you sure your friend doesn’t mind you being in his house all day?”

Applicant #4: “I’ll ask him and call you back.”

(He didn’t call back.)

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PDF = Pretty Darn Flimsy

, , , , | Working | February 18, 2019

(As I’m unemployed, I was assigned to a year-long jobseekers’ assistance program, which is farmed out to a UK-based company. I knew it was going to be awful from the stories I heard from friends who had also been on it, but this is one instance that I will share of how bad their employee training standards are. I have to sign up to a job search website and upload a copy of my CV. The site will only accept it in PDF format for some weird reason. I’m not a tech genius but I’ve learned a lot of basic troubleshooting from my husband and friends in various IT roles, and I manage to figure out how to convert my .doc file on the unfamiliar-to-me word processing program.)

Advisor: “So, how’s it going?”

Me: “Grand, now that I got the PDF converted and uploaded.”

Advisor: *shocked* “How did you do it? We haven’t been able to work it out and it’s made everything so slow! “

Me: “It’s… this button here.” *points to the toolbar on [Word Program] then politely shrugs* “Once I found that it was easy. It’s amazing what you can learn just on Google.”

(She calls over another advisor and tells him about my amazing discovery.)

Advisor: “Oh, my God, we’ve been printing files out and scanning them back in as a PDF! [My Name] should be working here with us! “

Me: *laughing politely along but cringing inside* “Well, if you need tech support, I am looking for a job!”

(I know I have a slightly higher-than-average competence and some office experience, but this was about the second time I’d used this software. They worked with it every day and the solution to their issue was literally staring them in the face. Needless to say, they did not help me find a job. I’m dreading the thought of being called back to that office.)

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