I’m being hired for a position at a supermarket. Interviews went well, conversations have been pleasant, and I’m all set to sign the employment contract, so I grab the document and sit back in the chair to read it. 

The manager who is hiring me gives me a look.

Manager: “What are you doing?”

Me: *Confused.* “I’m reading the contract.”

Manager: “Why would you do that?”

Me: *Concerned.* “…Because signing a contract is a legally-binding statement that I agree to the terms and conditions outlined in that contract.”

Manager: “So?”

Me: *Now thinking I don’t want to work here.* “…SO, I’m making myself aware of the terms and conditions before I agree to them.”

Manager: “That’s stupid. Why the f*** do you need to do that?”

Me: *Absolutely sure I don’t want to work here anymore.* “Because I’m not an idiot. If I don’t like the conditions, I’m not going to sign the contract.”

Manager: “Well, if you don’t sign the contract, then you’re not hired.”

Me: “Yes, that’s kind of what I was getting at. If I don’t like the conditions, I don’t want to be hired here.”

Manager: “You’re a f****** moron. Are you telling me you read the terms and conditions for every piece of computer hardware and software you own?”

Me: *Setting the contract aside.* “The fact that you seriously think the answer is “no” tells me everything I need to hear. Good day.”

I could not get out of that building fast enough.

I used to have a traveling job, but my position was eliminated in favor of fully office-based work. I asked to work remotely from my home, but I was told that if I wanted to keep my job, I had to be in the office. So, my husband and I packed up our house, found a place near the main office several states away, and moved.

A few months in, another position in my department opened. A woman I worked with (another traveler who quit when the remote work stopped) applied for the job. I sat in on her virtual interview with (Manager) since we would be working together.

Manager: “So, you live in [another state], correct?”

Woman: “Yes, with my husband and our three children. I have a home office already set up, so I can work from here.”

Manager: “Oh, good! That’s great. Okay, so—”

Me: “I’m sorry, I’m going to jump in here. This position is still office-based, is it not?”

Manager: “Oh. Well, you and I can discuss this after the interview.”

I stayed quiet for the rest of the interview, but I heard a few things like “[My Name] will train you via video calls” and “you two will need to coordinate schedules across time zones.” I was p***ed. When it was done, [Manager] asked me to come to his office.

Manager: “So, I think we need to talk about your outburst in that interview.”

Me: “Okay.”

Manager: “It was not your job to comment on whether this position is office-based or remote.”

Me: “But—”

Manager: “It is supposed to be in the office, but [Woman] has a family to consider. I know you and your husband moved here, and that is great, but—”

Me: “Is being in the office required for this position or not?”

Manager: “Well, yes, but—”

Me: “So, she will need to work in the office to accept the position?”

Manager: “You’re not listening. It is not the norm, but—”

Me: “My husband quit his job and found a new one here. I sold my house. I moved almost 1,000 miles to keep my job because that was a requirement of the position.”

Manager: “Let’s table this conversation until you’ve calmed down.”

Me: “Here’s the bottom line: if you allow her to work remotely, I will quit, effective immediately.”

I walked out and began searching for jobs immediately. [Manager] later called [Woman] and told her the position would not be remote, and she withdrew her application. [Manager] decided that the most professional response to my “outburst” was to close the position and refuse to hire someone who was willing to work from the office. Whenever someone brought it up, [Manager] would comment that I was making it difficult to hire anyone because of my “outbursts” during interviews (which was one comment in one interview). 

I quit anyway.

I was interviewing for a position as a welder in a factory.

The first red flag was that the fellow who was interviewing me introduced himself as someone from Human Resources, and not as the manager who would theoretically be managing me.

The final red flag was when the fire alarm went off mid-interview. I stood up calmly and quietly to evacuate when the interviewer said:

Interviewer: “If you leave this room mid-interview, you’ll be fired.”

I stared at him agog for a few moments, and said:

Me: “You never hired me in the first place.”

I left at a brisk walk. It probably messed up their fire evacuation plan to not report to someone that I had left the building, but I was p***ed enough to not care. I went directly home.

Related:
Would Rather Be Fired Than On Fire

Our recruitment manager is on the phone with a candidate who failed the email interview.

Recruitment Manager: “Yes, you failed the interview.”

Pause.

Recruitment Manager: “Because we feel you weren’t being genuine.”

Pause.

Recruitment Manager: “Well, for example, when answering the question “What makes you feel like you’d be a good fit?”, you replied: “As an AI language model, I don’t have feelings, but I can provide you with a list of qualities and skills that could make me a great fit for the role”.”

Pause.

Recruitment Manager: “Whether you used it as a tool or not, the other job requirement was an eye for detail and spotting mistakes.”

Pause.

Recruitment Manager: “Yes, I would count that as a mistake, just like this conversation. Good luck in all your future endeavours, sir.”

Our company is downsizing, so some of us have been encouraged to look for other jobs before inevitable layoffs happen. Some coworkers are looking through recruitment ads.

Coworker: “Ugh, they’re all using the same useless corporate speak that means other things!”

Me: “What do you mean?”

Coworker: “‘Fast-paced work environment!’ That means, ‘We are always short-staffed and you will have to do the work of multiple people’.”

Me: “Oh yeah! I’m seeing that all over. Some of the worst ones are ‘Must be flexible’ meaning ‘Your schedule will change hourly and we will text you at 9 PM asking you to open tomorrow’.”

Coworker: “Ha! Or ‘working under pressure’ meaning ‘everything is on fire all the time’.”

We laugh and look over at our other coworker friend sitting with us, and then realize something.

Me: “Oh s***, you’re [Company]’s recruiter, aren’t you?”

Recruiter: “…yeah.”

Coworker: “Are we on to something?”

Recruiter: “…well, yeah. Kinda. I was told I had to put those phrases in the ads, whether it was true or not. I always told the boss that intelligent people could see through that bull s***.”

Me: “What did he say?”

Recruiter: “He said we didn’t want to hire intelligent people.”

Coworker: “Ouch.”

Me: “I’m glad we were hired before you got here!”