One day, I get the following email from a local government agency that helps people back to work.

Agency: “Hi, [My Name]. Could you give me the contact name you have for [Employment Skills Training Organisation], please? I just want to ensure they get you to us. Thanks, [Official].”

I have never contacted them, but they sound like they already know me. As it happens, I am actually job hunting now, but I’m an engineer looking for a senior technical or management position — not something I would contact either this agency or the training organisation about.

They have the right email address, which is “[My First Name] dot [My Last Name] at [email company] dot com”. I don’t have a particularly common name, there are a couple of ways of spelling my first name, and people routinely spell my last name wrong with extra Ls, an N instead of an M, etc., but this one is completely correct.

I look them up, and their office is only about a mile down the road from where I live, so I ring the sender to see how they got my email address. Maybe someone forwarded my details to them by accident?

Me: “Hello, I’ve just had an email from you about an appointment. I’m sorry, but I don’t recall contacting you before today. How did you get my email address?”

Official: “That’s strange. Are you [My Name]? Do you live in [Local Area]?”

Me: “That is my name, but I actually live just down the road in [Adjacent Area]. Funnily enough, I am looking for a new job, but I’m actually a senior engineer at [Famous Technical Company], so don’t know why you would have my details.”

Official: “Is your email ‘[My First Name] dot [My Last Name] at [email company] dot co dot uk’?”

Me: “No, it’s ‘[My First Name] dot [My Last Name] at [email company] dot com’.”

Official: “Oh, I see! Sorry, I must have mistyped the email address.”

Me: “Hang on! Are you telling me there is another [My First And Last Name] just a mile down the road from me? He’s got almost the same email address? And he’s also job-hunting?”

Official: “It certainly looks like it.”

Me: “Wow! Well, please let him know that his namesake wishes him all the best of luck!”

I used to shop in the area where this office was located all the time, so I could have passed by my younger “self” at any time and never known it!

I was an office manager for a staffing company. When we would get job orders, I would place ads in the local newspaper advertising job openings. I tried to make the ads as detailed as possible.

For example:

Ad: “Receptionist needed. Pays $13 an hour, Monday through Friday, 9:00 am to 5:00 pm. Must have at least three years of experience. Must be computer literate, have intermediate to advanced skills in Word and Excel, and type 45 WPM. Call for an appointment. Appointments are only on Wednesday and Thursday. No walk-in applicants.”

Pretty straightforward, right?

Well, here are some of the calls that I would get based on that ad.

Caller #1: “Can I interview on Friday?”

Caller #2: “How much does it pay?”

Caller #3: “What skills are required?”

Caller #4: “What is a receptionist?”

Caller #5: “I don’t have any experience as a receptionist. Can I apply anyway?”

Caller #6: “Can I get paid $17 an hour instead?”

My favorite one was a woman who wanted to apply for a job like the above example.

Woman: “I am interested in applying for the job you have. I have all the experience you are looking for.”

Me: “Great! Can you come in this Wednesday or Thursday to complete an application and be interviewed?”

Woman: “No, those days won’t work.”

Me: “Okay, can you come in next Wednesday or Thursday?”

Woman: “No. I can come this Saturday at 2:00.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but our office is closed on Saturdays and Sundays. We don’t do any interviews on the weekends.”

Woman: “Well, can’t you just come in on Saturday and interview me?”

Me: “No, sorry, I can’t do that. Are you currently working now, or do you have transportation issues? I can possibly get you in on a Monday or Tuesday if that would help.”

Woman: “No, I am not currently working, and I do have transportation. I would just rather come on Saturday. Are you sure you can’t come in on Saturday and interview me?”

Me: “No, sorry, we are not able to do that. You’re welcome to call back if you would like to come in on any of the other days I mentioned.”

Woman: “I don’t know why you just can’t come in on Saturday. I’ll just go to another staffing agency. I’m sure there are some that would be open on Saturday.”

Good luck, lady.

Many years ago, I worked as an office manager for a small staffing company. Our policy was that applications and interviews were by appointment only. We had signs on the door that said that, along with a phone number to call to set up an appointment to complete an application and get an interview.

Some people did show up with no appointment, and we explained to them our policy on having an appointment. Some were nice about it, and then there were some who gave us pushback.

One day, I was in the office, interviewing a gentleman for a position we were trying to fill. I was the only one there that day. As I was interviewing the applicant, I heard the front door open. Thinking it was another applicant with an interview that day, I said:

Me: “Hello! I will be with you in just a few minutes.”

The door to my office was closed. A minute later, my office door swung open, and a woman came in and walked right up to me.

Me: “I am in an interview.”

Woman: “I need an application!”

Me: “Do you have an appointment?”

Woman: “No!”

Me: “I am in an interview right now. If you can wait a few minutes, I will get an application for you and set you up an appointment to come back.”

Woman: “No, I need to get an application now.”

I was really annoyed by her. I excused myself from the gentleman interviewing.

Me: “Here is an application. I can put you down for an appointment for Wednesday at two o’clock.”

Woman: “Okay.”

She gave me her phone number and left.

I apologized to the gentleman I was interviewing and finished his interview, as well as those of the other applicants who were waiting.

The woman did not show up for her interview. I tried to call her, and she did not answer.

A couple of days later, I was in the office eating lunch. We had signs on the door that said, “We are closed for lunch. Please don’t knock on the door. We will be back at [time].”

There was a knock at the door. I would usually just ignore it, but they kept knocking. Thinking it might be something important, I got up and answered the door. It was the rude woman from the other day — the one who did not show up for her appointment.

Woman: “I am here for my appointment.”

Me: “Your appointment was on Wednesday.”

Woman: “Well, I am here now.”

Me: “We are closed for lunch.” *Pointing to the sign on the door*

Woman: “Can’t you just interview me now?”

Me: “No, ma’am, I cannot. I am at lunch. You can come back this afternoon at three o’clock.”

Woman: “Fine, then. I will just come back at three.”

The woman never came back. She did call my boss and complain that she should be able to interview anytime she wanted to.

I had already told my boss about her, and he responded:

Boss: “I’m sorry, but you’ve missed two appointments already. If you can’t follow directions, then we are not interested in hiring you.”

The woman got angry and hung up the phone.

I work in a sports bar. It’s 2017, and it’s a Sunday night at around 7:00 pm. Everyone is incredibly busy. The phone rings and rings… and rings… and rings…

The hostess picks up the phone, and the caller asks for a manager. [Manager] takes the phone and introduces himself, covering his other ear because the place is loud as h***.

There is a pause. [Manager] rolls his eyes and sort of smiles.

Manager: “Um…”

There’s another short pause, and then [Manager] starts full-blown laughing directly into the phone.

Manager: “You’re calling a sports bar in Boston in the middle of the Patriots Super Bowl game to request a manager and ask if we’re hiring? No, dude, we are not hiring.”

Part of me feels bad for the guy for getting laughed off the phone, but bro… come on. I kind of wonder if the guy ever found a job.

I work at a gym and actually have relatively cool managers. I am at the front desk with one of the managers, but he is currently busy and has asked me to try and handle things unless I absolutely need him.

I’m greeting members when a young guy walks in holding a piece of paper.

Me: “Good morning, welcome in! How are you doing today?”

Guy: “Y’all got a manager I can talk to?”

I briefly glance at my manager and he shakes his head.

Me: “My manager is currently unavailable, but maybe I can help you?”

Guy: *Huffs* “Y’all hiring?”

Me: “We are. They are accepting applications through our website. I can show you if you’d like.”

Guy: “I wanna give my resume to the manager.”

Me: “I’d be happy to pass along your resume and information. In the meantime, I’d strongly suggest going to our website and applying online. Our hiring manager is very good about going through the online process.”

Guy: *Condescendingly* “Nah. Why don’t you run along and fetch me your manager, princess?”

Before I can say anything, my manager stops what he is doing and walks over.

Manager: “Hi! I’m the manager. I can take that from you.”

He extends his hand for the resume. The guy looks at me smugly and hands it over. My manager immediately crumples up the resume and throws it in the trash. The guy’s face falls.

Manager: *Pissed* “You can leave now, and don’t bother applying online. You have a nice day now, princess.”

The guy leaves with his tail between his legs.

Me: “Have I told you that you’re my favorite manager? Thank you.”

Manager: “No problem. F*** that guy. We don’t want someone with that attitude working here.”