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His Work Ethic Is Not Broken

, , , , , | Working | August 31, 2017

(We have someone coming in for a job interview, which I’m preparing for. I get a call from one of the employees, who is freaking out and telling me to come down right away. When I get there, I see our interviewee leaning against the counter, covered in blood and with a clearly broken arm.)

Me: “Oh my gosh, sir! Are you okay? I’ll call you an ambulance right away!” *I notice that one of my employees is already on the phone with 911.*

Interviewee: *clearly in pain* “Oh, it’s okay, I’ll go to the hospital after the interview.”

Me: “What happened?”

Interviewee: “I tried to pull my cat from a tree branch outside and fell out of a second story window onto cement. Don’t worry about it. So, the interview?”

Me: “Sir, I know you want this job, but if you had called us and told us what had happened, I would have understood completely why you couldn’t make it in today and rescheduled!”

Interviewee: “Hey, while we’re waiting for the ambulance, do you think we can maybe quickly have that interview? I get the feeling I’ll be preoccupied the next couple of weeks.”

Me: “Uh… okay, sir.”

(Since the idea of the interview seemed to keep him calm, I agreed and gave him one on the spot while we waited, which he aced despite the fact that he was clearly in a lot of pain. When I told my boss what had happened, he told me to hire him, saying anyone who insisted on coming in despite a broken arm was clearly dedicated to getting that job. He’s been one of our best and most dedicated employees, to the point where we actually have to beg him not to come into work whenever he gets sick, because he refuses to call off.)


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Couldn’t Handle The Reality Of Reality

, , , | Working | August 28, 2017

(I’ve interviewed a series of candidates for a position. One young guy comes in with no real experience, but he is really keen, and he mentions that he is just looking for a chance to prove himself and that he is really excited to have a “real” job apart from part time. He interviews well and we agree to give him a chance on a junior role. He gets his offer letter and we wait to hear from him about confirming his start date. He doesn’t respond after a day or two so I give him a call.)

Me: “This is [My Name]. We were hoping you would be able to confirm your start date. Did you get the letter?”

Candidate: “Sorry, I did, but my boss wasn’t in today, so I couldn’t sort it out.”

Me: “Okay, well, please let me know tomorrow where we stand.”

Candidate: “I will, thank you.”

(The next day comes and goes, and I have to ring him again.)

Me: “This is [My Name]. We haven’t heard from you today. We need to set up your computer and induction. What is happening?”

Candidate: “I’m sorry. I wanted to leave on [date we asked him to], but I didn’t put my notice in writing. I’m speaking to my boss tomorrow to sort it all out.”

Me: “Okay, we need to make a move here. We have plans in place and are keen to get you started. You were originally supposed to start [next week]. We need to know where we stand as this is urgent for us.”

Candidate: “Okay. I promise I will ring you tomorrow.”

(When he doesn’t ring the next day, I’m too busy in a meeting to get back to him. Instead, the day after, I call and get no response. I call the agency who sent his CV in and they can’t get hold of him. After a week of nothing [and a need to get someone employed urgently], we withdraw our offer in writing. A full week passes before he calls and gets my voicemail.)

Candidate: “What’s going on? I just got this letter. I told you I was sorting it out. It was only going to be a few more weeks. You’re just like [Other Company]. You suck.”

(Something told me he wasn’t ready for a “real job” yet.)


This story is part of the second Job Interview roundup!

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Job-Seek And Destroy

, , , , | Working | May 31, 2017

(I am the manager at a shoe store. We are hiring seasonal employees for the summertime. A teenage girl comes in to hand in her resume. I review it and a week later we set up an interview time via email.  However, when her interview time comes around a different girl comes in.)

Girl #2: “Hi, I’m here for my interview with [My Name].”

Me: “Uh, are you [Name On The Resume]?”

Girl #2: “Yes.”

Me: “Huh. I could’ve sworn it was a different girl who came here two weeks ago. She had bright red hair and cat eye-glasses. Did you change your look?”

Girl #2: “Oh, no, it was a different girl. I was studying for my finals so I had my best friend go around and hand out my resumes.”

Me: “You know that’s kind of misleading, right? A lot of employers place first impressions very high on their list. I agreed in an email to an interview with the girl who handed in the resume. You know she didn’t even tell me she wasn’t you?”

Girl #2: “Oh, yeah, I told her not to. I felt it would be too confusing.”

Me: “Uh-huh.”

(Her phone dings and she unlocks her phone right in front of me.)

Girl #2: “Oh, my mom just texted me that I should mention I’m going to be going away for most of July. We’re going to Cuba for my graduation gift. This won’t be a problem, right? You guys need employees and I can work for most of the summer. Well, until August… I think. Let me text my mom and—”

Me: “I think you should just go home.”

(Honest to God, this wasn’t even the worst possible employee that came in.)


This story is part of the second Job Interview roundup!

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Killed It At The Interview

| Working | October 27, 2014

(I am hiring new special needs assistants to work with autistic kids. We run a small, friendly, love-based program, and say so in the ad. I pick out a few with good resumes and meet at a cafe for an interview.)

Interviewee: “I can handle ANY kid. I used to be in the US Marines.” *whips out his VA card, even though we are in Canada* “Yeah, in 1982, I was in Libya and it was really life-changing watching my buddy’s head explode. I had trouble killing people before that, but not after seeing it just explode like a watermelon getting hit with a mallet.”

Me: “… I bet you can’t watch Gallagher shows.”

(I did not hire the guy who had no trouble killing people.)