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Expecting A Big Fat Apology

, , , , , , , | Related | January 12, 2018

(I’ve recently returned home to New Zealand from overseas travel. I worked in the UK in a pub for over a year and picked up heaps of skills and experience from the job. Now that I’m back home, I need to get a new job to get myself back on my feet. I’ve always had an ability to pull off job interviews well. Now, I’m a chunky girl, but not heinously overweight, and I carry myself well.)

Me: “I saw [Pub] has a sign out looking for staff, so I’m going to go drop CVs in and around them today.”

Mum: “Oh, no, you’re way too fat to work there. I’ve only seen skinny girls working at [Pub]. There’s no way they’ll hire you!”

(Understandably, I am upset, though not surprised as my mum has a massive hang up on my size and is constantly on at me. So, in spite, I apply, and I get called back the same afternoon. After a long, friendly, chatty interview with the manager I get offered the job on the spot. I head home, incredibly chuffed that I’ve not only got a job, but that it’s at the place I was deemed “too fat” to work at by my mum. As I walk through the door, Mum asks where I handed out my CVs today and I tell her, leaving [Pub] till last.)

Mum: “Oh, yeah, and have you heard anything back?”

Me: “Oh, I probably should have started with this, but yeah. I got a new job; I start tomorrow night.”

Mum: “Wow, really? Where?”

Me: “[Pub].”

(Needless to say, her face showed mixed emotions: pissed that I proved her wrong, but ultimately pleased that I was employed.)

How To Get Fired Before You’re Hired

, , , , , | Working | January 8, 2018

(I’m part of the hiring team at my job. I do technical support for a very large company and I’m the team lead. The hiring manager will bring interviewees to sit with me for 15 minutes so that the person can see what we actually do and so that I can assess the person’s suitability for our environment. I am not told who the person is ahead of time, just given a calendar invite to block out my time for the meeting.)

Hiring Manager: “Hi, [My Name], this is [Interviewee].”

(It is a middle-aged guy that I immediately recognize.)

Me: “Hi, [Interviewee], or should I call you [His Username from a dating app]?”

(At this point, he recognizes me, too, and looks horrified.)

Me: “Remember me? I’m [My Username from the dating app], the old hag you sent an unsolicited d**k-pic to.”

Interviewee: *stammering* “That wasn’t me. I’ve never done that!”

Me: *to hiring manager* “Is his cell phone number [number]?”

(I looked at him and smiled, then told him that I’d paid for a reverse lookup on his cell phone number and had all of his personal information. The hiring manager checked the documents in her hand and nodded. I pulled out my phone and showed the manager the messages he sent me, including the abusive language he sent after I told him off for being a jerk. The manager looked grim and immediately ended the interview. Needless to say, he didn’t get hired.)

This story is part of the Bad Interviews roundup!

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Too Many Assumptions Spoil The Broth

, , , , , , | Working | November 28, 2017

(I’m interviewing for a position as a dishwasher in a local diner, and the manager seems nice.)

Manager: “Would you like to be a cook?”

Me: “Um, no. I don’t know how to cook.”

Manager: “Who doesn’t know how to cook?”

Me: “Me.”

(He kept insisting that I be a cook, even though I told him I would rather wash dishes. He seemed very disappointed and never called me back. I found another job elsewhere. I don’t know why they would advertise for a dishwasher and need a cook. Very weird.)

This story is part of the second Job Interview roundup!

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What Goes Up, Must Come Crashing Down

, , , , , | Working | November 22, 2017

(We are interviewing potential applicants for a series of new jobs. We have met several at the entrance to the building and are escorting them to our respective floors.)

Applicant:Ugh! Why is this lift so slow! Doesn’t it know we’re all busy?!”

Boss: “Yes, you’ve looked very busy while staring at [social media] for the past 15 minutes.”

Applicant: “What else is there to do?!”

Boss: “Actually listen? We told you at reception that data analysis was on the third floor. Had you bothered to lift your head from your phone at all, you might have realised that we’re now coming up to the seventh. So, unless you want to be interviewed for a managerial role, I think you have missed your chance.”

(She blushed and sprinted down the four floors instead of using the lift again. At the end of the day, I heard she tried to blame us for her tardiness. Her potential boss, however, also noticed that she was on her phone the whole time, too, and promptly closed the door in her face.)

This story is part of the second Job Interview roundup!

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Interview Technique Is Lacking An Interview

, , , , , , | Working | November 8, 2017

(I have just finished an interview, so I am wearing a suit and nice shoes as well as carrying a laptop. I decide to stop in a well-known coffee shop to get a tea and a bagel. I sit down at an empty table to eat and play a game on my phone, with only a handful of customers in the store. A well-dressed woman walks up to me.)

Woman: “Hi.”

Me: “Hello?”

Woman: “Do you need a phone charger?”

Me: *confused* “No, thanks… Do you?”

(The woman shakes her head but doesn’t move. After a moment…)

Woman: “Could you move over there?” *points to a different table*

Me: *now really confused* “Uh, no? I’m fine right here.”

Woman: “You know, you aren’t making a very good first impression.”

Me: “Neither are you.”

Woman: *with a rude tone, points to clipboard in hand* “I’m marking this down, I hope you know.”

Me: “For what?”

(With a shocked expression, the woman turned around and disappeared into the back room. I figured that someone had an interview scheduled that day and the woman assumed I was the candidate. If that’s the case, it was pretty rude to not even introduce herself or ask me if I was there for the interview.)