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Looks Lick The Wrong Job

, , , , , , | Working | November 27, 2018

(I’ve been applying for jobs and have gotten an interview at a gas station, specifically for the night shift. The woman interviewing me is very casual and laid-back, which makes me feel very comfortable about the position.)

Interviewer: “And you do get a few strange folk during the night, but nothing too creepy. One guy asked to lick me because he wanted to know if I taste as sweet as I look.”

(She seemed completely unconcerned about the incident, and even laughed. I left the interview with no intention of ever working a gas station, anywhere.)

You Gauge While I Rage

, , , , , , , , | Working | November 26, 2018

Shortly after I graduate from college, I’m working part-time in retail. I apply for a full-time event photographer’s position online and receive a call back. I’ve had several other interviews that didn’t pan out recently, so I quickly agree, despite the location in question being over an hour-and-a-half drive away, when the position listing had said it was more local. They inform me that they have multiple candidates to interview that day, and would like to meet on neutral grounds in a chain coffee shop.

Being a bit paranoid about traffic and not knowing the area well, I arrive early on the day and read in my car while I wait. About five minutes before my appointed time, I head into the coffee shop. The interviewer is clearly in view, with a laptop and large drink in front of her, and a small placard with her name on it like you’d see on someone’s desk in reception.

I walk up to introduce myself, and she points vaguely behind her without even looking up to see who I am, and informs me that there are two interviews ahead of mine, so I’ll have to wait.

A bit annoyed now that I was paranoid about being so early, I sit down. After half an hour, none of the interviews have started, and staff have pointedly come by to wipe my table down twice, so I get up and order a cold drink. After another fifteen minutes, the interviewer calls all three of us to her table and says we’ll just do some of the interview all together, to save time. She waits until we’re seated, turns her laptop around, and a video starts playing.

I can feel the other two candidates deflating next to me as the video plays: the job listing advertised for a professional event photographer for a new company, but is actually just a newly named branch of a well-known yearbook photography company, who has decided to expand into the market of preschools.

The video is all about their ideal candidate:

“Good with kids!” “Cheerful and punctual!” “Willing to go above and beyond!” “No photography experience necessary!”

The more we hear, the worse it gets compared to the original listing, and the more it sounds like a scam. They don’t compensate for driving time. They don’t compensate for set-up time. There’s a fee that acts as a deposit on the equipment that we apparently have to pay before we start. They pay a flat rate per school no matter how many kids, or how much time it takes. So on and so forth.

After we watch the video, we split up again for individual interviews. By the time it’s my turn, I’ve been at the location for roughly two hours, in addition to the drive to get there. By now, I’m considering whether to leave or stick it out. I decide to finish the interview, and do my best throughout, because a full-time position might still be better than my current job, even if it isn’t what I’d expected it to be. I put genuine effort into the interview, though the interviewer seems distracted and keeps looking down at her watch as we talk.

Towards the end of the roughly fifteen-minute interview, she asks if I have any questions, and I give the usual responses:

“What kind of training do they provide if experience isn’t necessary?” “What kind of equipment do they use?” “What is the deposit fee like?” “Are we expected to do retouching, or just straight photos?” “When can I expect to hear back about this interview, and when would I be expected to start if I receive an offer?”

She glosses over most of the questions, but sticks on the last one. Her expression changes entirely and she finally looks me in the face and says, “I don’t know why each of you has asked that. We’re not even hiring for the new school year yet. This was just to gauge the market.”

And suddenly I feel like screaming. I’m pretty sure my face turns bright red from holding in that sudden surge of absolute humiliated rage. I say that’s all I have, thank her for her time, and shake her hand. I then march straight to my car with my portfolio. By the time I leave, rush hour is starting, and the drive home takes two hours. The minute I get in the door, I find the nearest couch cushion, and finally scream into it.

I’ve never received a call about the interview, and even if I had, I think I’d have told them quite politely to shove the offer up their a**es.

Now Interviewing For A New Interviewer

, , , , , , | Working | November 20, 2018

(I have been trying to get a job for over a month, with over sixty job applications, several interviews, and no luck. Today, I have a scheduled interview with a manufacturing company for a data-entry job. I enter the interview room after I am called.)

Interviewer: “Mr. [My Name], yes?” *takes out my CV and starts reading it* “[My address], huh? What, daddy didn’t give you enough money?”

(I am livid. While we do live in a rich neighbourhood, my life is nowhere near what would be considered rich. The only reason we live there is that we bought the land when it was still cheap and a normal neighbourhood. My dad has been retired for over a year, as well, and I was barred from getting a job before I finished my first year of university. I snatch my CV from the jerk’s hand and go home. When I get home and check my phone, there are eight missed calls from the same company. Then another call comes in. I pick it up.)

Man: “Is this Mr. [My Name]?”

Me: “What do you want?”

Man: “I’m [Man], sir, and I’d like to apologize for what my ex-colleague has done. His behaviour was completely unacceptable. I can assure you he has been dealt with. Would you like to reschedule another interview?”

(I end up declining as the traffic in that area was rather rough, but I was glad that the jerk didn’t get away scot-free.)


This story is part of the Bad Interviews roundup!

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Interviews Work Both Ways

, , , , , | Working | October 30, 2018

(I have a job interview at 10:00 am in a call center. I’m there at 9:50 am, and when I enter the building, I realise I’m immediately in the working area. I find this odd but don’t think much about it since it’s a small company. It takes about five minutes before somebody gets off the phone long enough to talk to me, as there’s no reception desk. I say who I am and why I’m there. It takes about five more minutes before they can call the person who I have an appointment with. They tell me to wait a little bit further, at something I could call a bar, with no chairs, nowhere to sit, about two meters from the desks they’re working, right next to a staircase. I stand there waiting, and see the time going by. At 10:30, still nobody has come to get me. It’s impossible to ask anybody, since they’re all on the phone constantly. I keep waiting, and finally, at 11:30, the boss comes halfway down the stairs and just says:)

Boss: “Yeah, you can come up.”

(I go to his office, where he has already sat down at his desk. All he says to me is:)

Boss: “Okay, sit down. I have a lot of work to do, so I will take the interview while answering emails and phone calls.”

(The whole conversation is him basically repeating what was in the job offer on the Internet, and asking me a few questions to which he would have known the answers if he had read my resume. He doesn’t even listen to my answers, since he’s busy with his email, and keeps answering phone calls, interrupting me all the time. I can’t even ask questions myself, since he’s just not listening. After about twenty minutes of this, he finishes with this gem.)

Boss: “Okay, well, I told you everything I can think about, so just think about the job and call me in a day or two to tell me if you’re still interested.”

(I’m seriously annoyed by his rude attitude and decide I absolutely don’t want the job.)

Me: “Look. I won’t call you back. Just write down somewhere that I’m not a candidate for this job anymore. I’m not planning on working for somebody who can’t even plan his day, since you had to take calls and answer emails while you were having an interview. You didn’t even bother to read my resume, and didn’t even listen to my answers to your questions, or answer mine. I will also not work for somebody who thinks it’s okay to be an hour and a half late, and not even apologise for it. I deserve a little bit more respect than that. And you’re not even able to make a decision yourself, since I have to call you back to tell you if I’ll take the job or not. Sorry, not going to happen. Bye. I know the way out.”

(I didn’t wait for him to react; I just left. Note to employers: when you’re having an interview with a candidate, you might be judging them, but the candidate judges you, as well. If you treat a candidate like a piece of dirt, don’t expect them to want to work for you.)

Trust Me, Best Manager Ever, Like You’ll Never Believe…

, , , , , | Working | September 22, 2018

(I am conducting interviews for a management position in our company. We’ve had our fair share of bizarre interviewees, but this one by far stands out the most.)

Me: “So, what makes you the best choice for this position?”

Interviewee: “I’m an expert at screaming at employees! I have a voice so loud it’ll make them cower in fear every time they hear me! Oh, and I’m excellent at firing people, too. At my last job, I fired twenty people in my first week! Isn’t that exciting? I’m telling you, I will be the best manager ever!”

(It was very hard for me to keep a straight face for the rest of the interview after hearing that. We knew we weren’t going to hire her after her statement, but we followed up with her previous employer after the interview as part of the mandatory process. As it turns out, she had been fired from her previous manager position after just one week for — you guessed it — mistreatment of employees and repeated violations of company termination policy.)


This story is part of the second Job Interview roundup!

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Read the second Job Interview roundup!