A Bookstore’s Last Day Is Booked

, | Mason, OH, USA | Right | April 7, 2017

(I overhear this while ringing two ladies out.)

Friend #1: “We should go to [Store]. They’re having a going out of business sale.”

Friend #2: “[Store]? What do they sell?”

Friend #1: “Books.”

Friend #2: *makes a face*

Friend #1: *quickly* “We don’t HAVE to go.”

Friend #2: “Okay, good.”

(And we wonder why they went out of business…)

This Customer Is Causing A Real Stink

| Columbus, OH, USA | Right | March 22, 2017

(I work on an online jewelry shop, taking calls for customers who are either confused with products or their prices, our delivery services, etc.)

Me: “[Jewelry Store], this is [My Name]. How may I assist you?”

Customer: “Hello! Do you sell deodorant?”

Me: *trying to hold in my laughter* “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “You know, deodorant. The stuff you put on your armpits?”

Me: “Ma’am, I know what deodorant is, but this is a jewelry store… We don’t sell deodorant or any sort of hygiene-like products; only jewelry. I’m sorry for your inconvenience.”

Customer: “But jewelry is a beauty product…”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, I understand that. I don’t know what you’re getting at, though.”

Customer: “And deodorant is a hygiene product, to help with your beauty.”

Me: *trying not to die laughing* “Ma’am, have you seen our website?”

Customer: “Yes. What do you mean?”

Me: *getting slightly more aggressive* “Did you see deodorant ANYWHERE on it?”

Customer: “No… I just thought you were out of stock.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I am 100% sure you can find deodorant at your local convenience store or grocery store without waiting for shipping.”

Customer: “I’d like to speak to your manager!”

Me: “Well, I’m pretty sure if I put my manager on the phone, he’ll say the same thing.”

(I put my manager on the phone.)

Customer: “Hello? Is this the manager?”

Manager: “Yes? I heard you were having some trouble on our website.”

Customer: “Yes, the little lady you have working here isn’t letting me buy deodorant from your website.”

Manager: “Ma’am, this is a jewelry store. We don’t sell deodorant or any sort of hygiene-like products; only jewelry. But, I’m pretty sure you can buy some deodorant from a store near you with no delivery waiting or cost.”

(My mind is blown because that is almost exactly what I said to this lady. The call finishes and the customer returns to me.)

Customer: “Well, I still don’t believe you.”

Going Around In Rings

| WA, USA | Romantic | February 27, 2017

(My fiancée and I decided to buy each other our engagement rings. I am nervous about the decision even though she will love anything I choose. We are at a local shop and notice the rings.)

Fiancée: “All of these rings are beautiful!”

Me: “I agree. Can you tell me what you like about them?”

Fiancée: “Well the green gem is green, the blue one is blue.”

Me: “You know why I am asking and that those answers aren’t helpful.”

(The shopkeeper did a good job at acting professional and not laughing at us while we laughed at ourselves.)

Crabby Conflict

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Working | February 20, 2017

(I work at a jewelry store and am staying late for inventory. I keep kosher and so far my boss has been pretty good at making alternatives for me. The night of inventory she said she’s gonna order pizza. I remind her that I cannot have pepperoni and to just avoid meat. When I get there she has ordered sushi… with crab. Not wanting to offend her, I don’t mention it until she offers me a piece.)

Me: “I can’t have that, sorry; it’s crab.”

Boss: “But there’s no dairy in it.”

Me: “Ya… kosher is a little bit more complicated than that.”

Sapphire And Steely Reception

| MT, USA | Working | November 9, 2016

(I’ve worked a lot of overtime lately and have the impulse to make a once-in-a-lifetime splurge. I wear nearly no jewelry but have always been obsessed with deep, rich blue. Upon realising my vacation will take me an hour away from a sapphire mine, I decide to try to use this chance to get a low price on a pair of sapphire earrings I can wear every day for the rest of my life. I drive the extra hour and enter a jewelry store where two clerks are helping a customer pick a pair out of a discount basket of tiny semi-precious gem stud earrings at $5 each. After looking around at the minimal offerings with no luck:)

Me: “Um, hello? Can you help me?”

Sales Lady: *obviously reluctant to leave what she was doing* “Yes? What do you need?”

Me: “Well, I want a pair of earrings on hooks, preferably with clasps, gold or silver will both do, that dangle quite near the earlobe; very small and subtle. I love sapphires and am willing to accept a flawed or mismatched pair. My budget is maximum $300, so I realize sapphire may be out of my reach. In that case I also love London blue topaz, or labradorite. If you have nothing matching that description I might be persuaded to consider pale blue topaz or opal.”

Sales Lady: “Did you look at our blue shelf?”

Me: “Yes, I have looked at everything here. But your website says nine tenths of your inventory is stored in the back.”

Sales Lady: “Well I can’t bring out random jewelry for you; you’d have to know what sort of thing you want.”

Me: “Yes, but I do know what I want.”

Sales Lady: “You would have to at least know what stone you want… How about these big turquoise ones?”

Me: “Eww no! Turquoise is much too loud and those are very large. I want something small and dignified that will go with everything. Sapphire — if that is possible in the $300 range — but otherwise a London blue topaz. In a small dangling earring of any metal.”

Sales Lady: “How about this lapis stuff?”

Me: “No, that again is too loud a shade for me; I want something in a muted tone. I already looked at all the display. Can’t you check in the back?”

Sales Lady: “You can look at what’s out here and try to decide what sort of thing you have in mind.”

(Runs off to return to helping the other customer pick her $5 earrings, with the other saleslady. I double check every cabinet while waiting for her to come back to helping me but she just ignores me for about 20 minutes.)

Me: *ticked off now and sorry I wasted the day driving out here for this* “Okay! I am going now! Thanks for not helping me!”

Sales Lady: “Ugh! Well I can’t show you anything unless you have some clue what you WANT!”

(What kind of store keeps their merchandise hidden away and resists customer attempts to view it?! I wasn’t even shabbily dressed or young, not that that would make it okay. I just can not figure out why they didn’t want to deal with me. I’m actually glad my temporary insanity was thwarted as I soon after gave up wearing even my habitual gold hoops and now am entirely jewelry free.)

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