Going Around In Rings

| WA, USA | Romantic | February 27, 2017

(My fiancée and I decided to buy each other our engagement rings. I am nervous about the decision even though she will love anything I choose. We are at a local shop and notice the rings.)

Fiancée: “All of these rings are beautiful!”

Me: “I agree. Can you tell me what you like about them?”

Fiancée: “Well the green gem is green, the blue one is blue.”

Me: “You know why I am asking and that those answers aren’t helpful.”

(The shopkeeper did a good job at acting professional and not laughing at us while we laughed at ourselves.)

Crabby Conflict

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Working | February 20, 2017

(I work at a jewelry store and am staying late for inventory. I keep kosher and so far my boss has been pretty good at making alternatives for me. The night of inventory she said she’s gonna order pizza. I remind her that I cannot have pepperoni and to just avoid meat. When I get there she has ordered sushi… with crab. Not wanting to offend her, I don’t mention it until she offers me a piece.)

Me: “I can’t have that, sorry; it’s crab.”

Boss: “But there’s no dairy in it.”

Me: “Ya… kosher is a little bit more complicated than that.”

Sapphire And Steely Reception

| MT, USA | Working | November 9, 2016

(I’ve worked a lot of overtime lately and have the impulse to make a once-in-a-lifetime splurge. I wear nearly no jewelry but have always been obsessed with deep, rich blue. Upon realising my vacation will take me an hour away from a sapphire mine, I decide to try to use this chance to get a low price on a pair of sapphire earrings I can wear every day for the rest of my life. I drive the extra hour and enter a jewelry store where two clerks are helping a customer pick a pair out of a discount basket of tiny semi-precious gem stud earrings at $5 each. After looking around at the minimal offerings with no luck:)

Me: “Um, hello? Can you help me?”

Sales Lady: *obviously reluctant to leave what she was doing* “Yes? What do you need?”

Me: “Well, I want a pair of earrings on hooks, preferably with clasps, gold or silver will both do, that dangle quite near the earlobe; very small and subtle. I love sapphires and am willing to accept a flawed or mismatched pair. My budget is maximum $300, so I realize sapphire may be out of my reach. In that case I also love London blue topaz, or labradorite. If you have nothing matching that description I might be persuaded to consider pale blue topaz or opal.”

Sales Lady: “Did you look at our blue shelf?”

Me: “Yes, I have looked at everything here. But your website says nine tenths of your inventory is stored in the back.”

Sales Lady: “Well I can’t bring out random jewelry for you; you’d have to know what sort of thing you want.”

Me: “Yes, but I do know what I want.”

Sales Lady: “You would have to at least know what stone you want… How about these big turquoise ones?”

Me: “Eww no! Turquoise is much too loud and those are very large. I want something small and dignified that will go with everything. Sapphire — if that is possible in the $300 range — but otherwise a London blue topaz. In a small dangling earring of any metal.”

Sales Lady: “How about this lapis stuff?”

Me: “No, that again is too loud a shade for me; I want something in a muted tone. I already looked at all the display. Can’t you check in the back?”

Sales Lady: “You can look at what’s out here and try to decide what sort of thing you have in mind.”

(Runs off to return to helping the other customer pick her $5 earrings, with the other saleslady. I double check every cabinet while waiting for her to come back to helping me but she just ignores me for about 20 minutes.)

Me: *ticked off now and sorry I wasted the day driving out here for this* “Okay! I am going now! Thanks for not helping me!”

Sales Lady: “Ugh! Well I can’t show you anything unless you have some clue what you WANT!”

(What kind of store keeps their merchandise hidden away and resists customer attempts to view it?! I wasn’t even shabbily dressed or young, not that that would make it okay. I just can not figure out why they didn’t want to deal with me. I’m actually glad my temporary insanity was thwarted as I soon after gave up wearing even my habitual gold hoops and now am entirely jewelry free.)

Got Yourself Backwards

| MD, USA | Right | October 19, 2016

(I’m the customer in this story. My boyfriend had just given me a very nice necklace the day before for our anniversary. Not wanting to be rude to him, I take the necklace to a well-known jewelry store to be fixed.)

Me: “Hi. I was given this necklace yesterday, but it is backwards from what I am used to. Is there anything you can do to fix it? I like the clasp on the right hand side and this one is left handed.”

Clerk: “Backwards?”

Me: “Yes, I like the clasp on the right hand side because I’m right handed. This necklace is for left handed people. Is there anything we can do to fix it?”

(The clerk takes my necklace, silently slides the charm off the chain, flips it over and hands me back me necklace.)

Clerk: “No charge, ma’am. It was a pleasure.”

(Never have I felt so stupid in my whole life.)

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Throw Your Request Into Oblivion

| Montréal, Canada | Working | October 5, 2016

(It is a few days after the video game collector’s edition of “Elder Scrolls: Oblivion” has released, which came with a metallic replica of the in-game currency the player uses. For fun and added authenticity, I want to get it gold-plated.)

Me: “Hey there, do you happen to offer goldsmithing services?”

Clerk: “Yes! What would you like to get done? We can do gold plating of various fineness for a wide variety of items!”

Me: “Awesome! What would it cost to do a 24-carat plating on this?” *shows her the coin*

Clerk: *frowns in disapproval* “I’m sorry, but we can’t do that. Defacing currency is actually a crime.”

Me: *stunned for a moment* Oh, no worries, this isn’t a real coin. It’s a replica of an Imperial septim from a video game!”

Clerk: *look at me angrily* “That’s even worse! We are NOT going to help you make fake currency! That’s criminal! Get out of here right now before I call the police!”

Me: *shocked in surprise* “But you don’t get it. It’s a fictional coin. It’s from a country that doesn’t exist! It’s from a videogame!”

Clerk: *not listening* “GET. OUT!”

(I left the place dejected and went to another jewelry store where service was much better. The clerk there asked why I looked so worried when asking him for plating and laughed a good deal when I told him the other clerk’s reaction. They gave my coin a flawless job and it looks gorgeous.)

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