Strangled By Impatience

, , , | Right | October 15, 2019

(We have a big sale on at the moment and as a result, have quite a few different items displayed in our front window.)

Customer: “Where are the rest of the necklaces displayed in the window?”

Me: “Which necklaces are you after, ma’am?”

Customer: “The ones in the window!”

Me: “Ma’am, there are about five different types of necklace displayed in the window, and they are located in different areas in the store. Were you interested in one in particular?”

Customer: “I don’t have time for this! I just want to see the necklaces from the window!” 

(The customer then stormed out.)

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What Is Meant By Spit And Polish

, , , , | Right | September 25, 2019

(I’ve been working in this jewelry store for a while, so I’m usually able to tell when a customer has a ring size that is larger than our regular size seven. A customer comes in and asks to see a white sapphire bridal set. Her ring finger is obviously quite larger than a seven.)

Me: “If you get the protection plan on this, resizing the ring will be free for life, no matter how many times it needs to be done.”

Customer: “Oh, don’t worry dear! It’ll fit!” *shoves the rings onto her finger with a bit of difficulty* “See?!”

Me: “Um, sure! Was there anything else you wanted to look at?”

Customer: “Oh, yeah, there was something down this way…” *tries to take the rings off, but they’re really jammed* “Maybe I’ll use lotion to get it off…”

Me: “We’d rather you didn’t, as lotion really gunks up the ring. We actually use glass cleaner spray to help get rings off, if you’d like to try that first.”

Customer: “Oh, no, I can get it off.”

(She spits on her hand and all over the rings. She then wrenches them off her finger and tries to hand them back to me.)

Customer: “There we go!”

Me: *placing display pad closer to her* “You can just set them down there; I’ll put them back a bit later…”

(The customer wound up buying the rings after I cleaned them thoroughly. My employee had to go into the break room to keep from laughing.)

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There’s No Cash Flow To Their Brain

, , , , , | Right | August 1, 2019

(We are a small, locally-owned jewelry store. We’re pretty low-tech and appreciate payments in cash. This customer is purchasing a piece for roughly $300.)

Customer: “I want a discount.”

Me: “Okay… I can offer you a 10% discount if you pay in cash.”

Customer: “Great, so I can pay you with a check?”

Me: “No… Cash.”

Customer: “So, I can pay you with a debit card?”

Me: *stares* “No. The cash discount is for cash.”

Customer: “You mean actual cash?!”

Me: “Yes, paper money.”

Customer: “But I’m from California! How am I supposed to get $300 in cash?”

Me: “There’s an ATM in the store next door.”

(The customer proceeds to huff for a few minutes, pretending that she won’t buy the piece. Then, she decides to pay with a credit card. I ring her up, for the full amount.)

Customer: “I thought you said you would give me a cash discount!”

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Cubic Hurtonium

, , , , | Right | July 9, 2019

(I work for a nationwide jewelry company. People will often come to us because we can repair jewelry in-store, even if it wasn’t purchased from us. The only exception is if the metal or gemstones aren’t genuine, because the tools we used for repair would destroy the pieces or crack the imitation stones. Each time a customer brings in a piece to be repaired, we have to verify the metal is indeed gold, silver, or platinum, and that the stones are genuine. A young couple comes into the store, and they approach me at the repair counter.)

Me: “Hello! How can I help you today?”

Woman: *hands me her engagement ring* “Yeah, one of the things that holds the diamond on the ring broke off.”

Me: “One of the prongs? Well, it’s a good thing you noticed. Did you buy this piece from us?”

Woman: *glances back at her fiancé, who is engrossed in his phone, then gives me a smug look* “No, he bought it from [Famous Higher-End Brand], of course. He wouldn’t buy me any of the cheap rings you have here. Right, babe?”

Man: *barely glances up* “Uh, yeah, from [Higher-End Brand].”

Woman: “See? But the closest store is too far away, and somebody told me you’d fix it even if it didn’t come from here.”

Me: *maintaining my retail smile* “Yes, of course. I just need to examine the ring and have you fill out some paperwork.”

(I hand her a form to fill out and then begin by cleaning the ring thoroughly. It is DISGUSTING, but thankfully, I always wear gloves when handling other people’s jewelry. Then, I look at it under a microscope to make sure there is only one broken prong, and I can’t find the metal stamp in the ring shank. Those can sometimes wear off, but it looks like the inside of the shank is actually flaking. Also, something about the stone looks off. Less expensive diamonds can often be cloudy or have black spots, but this one almost looks like it has fogged up from the inside. I grab the electronic tester and hold it to the stone. A green light means it is genuine diamond, but a red light means it is CZ, or some other imitation. When that red light lights up, my stomach drops. I test it three more times and get three more red lights. No way did this ring come from [Higher-End Brand].)

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am? Sir? I’m afraid we won’t be able to repair the prong on your ring.”

Woman: “What? Why not?!”

Me: *preparing myself for a meltdown* “I’m afraid that this ring is most likely not made of precious metal, so our tools would not work on it. Also, your stone is not a genuine diamond, so any heat from our tools would crack it.”


Man: *finally realizes what I just said* “Uh… Come on, baby, let’s go. She doesn’t know what she’s talking about.”

Me: “You’re welcome to try another store for a second opinion, of course.”

(I carefully placed the ring on the counter. The woman snatched her ring up without another word and stormed out of the store with her fiancé behind her. I left the counter a few seconds later and moved to a window with a view of the parking lot, just in time to see this woman PUNCH her fiancé square in the nose! She started screaming at him and hitting him around the head and shoulders. My manager ended up having to call the police to escort them out of our parking lot.)

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This Time, It’s Personal

, , , | Right | May 30, 2019

(I work at a watch repair shop in a shopping mall. We change batteries, do minor jewellery repairs, and send out repairs. A couple of weeks back, we had a meeting about employee safety, specifically about not identifying an employee who works there if a customer states that they know them personally. A customer comes in asking to get his battery changed on his watch. My assistant manager is working with me at the time and, as I go to my desk to get to work, the customer asks me if a certain coworker still works there. I politely state that I am not obligated to say, as it is a privacy and safety matter. His forehead immediately wrinkles and he starts raising his voice at me.)

Customer: “It’s a simple yes or no question. How hard is it for you to answer that?!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we do not state whether an employee works here or not for safety and privacy matters. You can personally call the employee if you wanted to catch up with her.”

(My manager is still in training and I don’t want her to deal with this customer as she is still new to the job.)

Customer: “What’s your name?”

(I tell him.)

Customer: “How is it any different from asking for an employee’s name? With your name, I could search you up on social media on my phone.”

(I am creeped out, but as I finish up his watch and head to the register, he asks me:)

Customer: “How long have you been working here? You seem young; maybe you should look in your employee’s manual and retrain yourself. If you continue to do that you’ll lose customers.”

Me: “I’ve never lost a single customer during my entire time working here, but if you are the first I’d be fine with that.” *smiles*

Customer: *shocked* “How long have you been working here and who is your manager?!”

(He’s getting a little red in the face.)

Me: “You don’t need to know that, and I’ll be happy to give you my manager’s card… after you tried to ask for employee information that I cannot give you because you wanted to search me up on social media.”

Customer: *silent*

(He then paid, I handed him his receipt, and he left quickly. I gave a quick message to my manager and he told me I followed the right procedures. I ended up asking my coworker — the one the customer said he knew — about him and she didn’t know him, either.)

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