Not In Receipt Of Understanding

, , , , | Right | September 22, 2020

I live in an area that is home to a lot of different nationalities, so not everybody speaks the language that well. This is just a student job and we are not allowed to do everything.

A woman comes up and buys a bunch of things, including a pair of expensive earrings in black. Near closing time, she comes back with those earrings.

Me: “Hello, how may I help you?”

Customer: *In very broken Dutch* “I bought these earrings here today and I would like to exchange them for the red pair.”

Me: “Okay, do you have your receipt?”

Customer: “No, but I just want the red pair instead of the black pair.”

Me: “Yes, but I need the receipt for that.”

Customer: “But I just want the red pair instead of the black pair.”

Me: “Yes, madam, I understand, but I need the receipt for that.”

Customer: “But it’s the same pair, just another color!”

She is getting mad and there is a line forming behind her.

Me: “Yes, madam, and again, like I said, I need the receipt. I need to scan the items in again because the codes on the back are different according to color.”

Customer: “But I just want to exchange it for the red pair.”

Me: “Yes, madam, I understand, but again, I need the receipt for that.”

Customer: “But I’ve been here this morning!”

Me: “Yes, madam, I know; I helped you this morning, too. But without the receipt, I cannot exchange the items.”

Customer: “But I don’t have the receipt anymore!”

Me: “Well, madam, that is too bad, but without the receipt, I am not allowed to exchange it.”

Customer: “But it’s the same pair, just another color!”

This kept going on for around fifteen minutes. I started getting annoyed and told her to go and take the earrings to my coworker, who is a full-time employee. After serving the other customers, I heard angry voices from the back of the store. After a while, the woman walked out of the store, gave me a nasty look, and left without the earrings.

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An Exquisite Exercise In Patience

, , , | Right | July 8, 2020

I work on an American cruise ship selling very high-end jewellery up to around $300,000. I am English.

It is a full day at sea and two elderly women come into my store and start looking at the jewellery. I make small talk with them about their day and cruise and ask them if they want to see some of the jewellery.

Guest #1: “Oh, yes, we would love to look at the jew-ell-ery.”

They sound excited at this prospect. I get out a necklace and put it on [Guest #1].

Guest #2: “So, tell us about this jew-ell-ery.”

I proceed to tell them where it is made, who it is by, etc. They keep asking more and more questions, like the gold, the weight, the carat, etc. Then, they start to look at other collections, too, to which I oblige. 

They do this every day for about four days — without ever buying anything. I am getting a little frustrated as they seem really happy, and they smile at each other a lot and seem really keen, even repeating me to make sure they understand what I am saying.

It isn’t until I am on my break and overhear them on the way to my cabin:

Guest #1: “She can’t really be English; I am sure she is South African, maybe Australian. Do the English even say ‘exquisite’? Isn’t that French?! I bet that’s French. Maybe she is French! Just listen to her next time. I think I will pretend to buy pearls tomorrow and see if she says it again! I don’t care where she is from; I just love her accent! It is adorable! I don’t understand her, but I do like to listen to her talk! She sounds so funny!”

They did indeed come in the next day and ask to look at the pearls. They still never bought anything… and still asked me lots of questions about every piece.

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You’re Pink, But They’re Not Pretty

, , | Right | April 12, 2020

(I work in a jewellery store where all the products are kept in locked cabinets. Because of this, customers can only try jewellery when assisted by staff. For security reasons, we cannot leave customers unattended with stock.

I have pink hair. I have been serving a small family for a few minutes and as the young girl is trying to find a ring that fits, another customer comes over.)

Customer #1: “Are you serving at the moment?”

Me: “Yes, I’m currently with a customer at the moment. But I’ll be with you as soon as I’m free.”

Customer #1: “Okay, because I just want to look at a pair of earrings in this window.”

(I nod to her and continue to serve the young girl. She’s having difficulty finding one that her mum will let her buy and that she likes, so it’s taking quite some time.)

Customer #2: *who has now joined [Customer #1]* “Hey, can we just look at a pair of earrings?”

Me: “I’m sorry, I am currently serving someone, but I’ll be with you when we’re finished.”

Customer #2: “F*** you!”

(The customers both storm off, muttering furiously. The family and I are a little shell-shocked at the outburst, but I finish serving them after another ten minutes or so and the mother thanks me profusely for all my help.)

Boss: “I just had the strangest phone call from a lady who just yelled down the phone about how rude the pink-haired staff member is and then suddenly hung up before I could ask her anything.”

(I relayed to her what had happened, and she agreed that it was weird… and that we didn’t need her business anyway.)

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Totally Estúpido! Part 10

, , , , | Right | March 21, 2020

(The company I work for sells jewelry on TV and is entirely based in the UK but has a show that airs in the USA. We do have a couple of employees that speak Spanish, but they are off today. We only get Spanish customers occasionally.)

Me: “Hello, this is [Company], [My Name] speaking. How can I help?”

Customer: *starts speaking Spanish*

Me: “Oh, I… I don’t speak Spanish.”

Customer: *speaks Spanish*

Me: “Uh, no hablo Español?”

Customer: *carries on speaking Spanish but much more slowly*

Me: “No hablo Español! I. Do. Not. Speak. Spanish.”

Customer: *in PERFECT English* “I f****** hate you guys.” *hangs up*

Related:
Totally Estupido, Part 9
Totally Estupido, Part 8
Totally Estupido, Part 7

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Sadly, This Happens On Your Watch

, , , | Right | October 28, 2019

(My workplace contains hundreds of watches and several different brands. This occurs far too often.)

Me: “Hi there. How are you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I want to look at a watch in the window.”

Me: “Okay. Can you tell me what brand it is?”

Customer: “Uhhhh…” *…trails off, looking away*

Me: “Okay, can you tell me the price? The colour?”

(The customer shakes his head, beginning to get irritated.)

Me: *giving up* “Look, would you mind just going outside and pointing the watch out for me?”

Customer: “It’s out the front! I don’t understand how this is so difficult!”

Me: “We carry hundreds of items in our store. Do you really expect me to know what you want, with no information volunteered from you, just off the top of my head?”

Customer: “It shouldn’t be so hard to do your job!”

(Apparently, mind-reading is a part of the job description these days. Some people are ridiculously self-involved.)

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