Lipsticks On Pugs

, , , , | Right | February 5, 2019

(I’m cashing a woman out and making casual conversation.)

Customer: “How long have you worked here?”

Me: “About a year and a half. What do you do for a living?”

Customer: “Oh, I’m starting a business. It’s like a brothel, but you trade a pug in for a prostitute. I started a Kickstarter to fund it.”

Me: “Oh, well… Good luck with that.”

Customer: “Thanks, darling. Have a great day!”

A Dime Crime

, , , , , | Right | January 21, 2019

(A customer tells me she wants to get rid of her change, so she pays in mostly loonies, quarters, and a few dimes. I type in the change and scoop some up to put in the register.)

Me: “Okay, so—“

Customer: “Oh, I want to keep that.” *puts a dime I didn’t pick up back into her wallet*

Me: “Oh, wait. If you take that back you won’t have enough to pay and my till will be off.”

Customer: “But I want the dime.”

Me: “But you technically already gave it to me.”

Customer: “I. Want. The. Dime. Back. I didn’t mean to give it to you.”

Me: “Okay, do you have money you can give me in exchange for that? You haven’t fully paid yet if you take back the dime.”

Customer: “I. WANT. THE. DIME. BACK! [STORE] IS STEALING MONEY FROM CUSTOMERS! NO ONE BUY HERE!”

(It was one of my first days on the job and my manager was MIA so I just let her leave since being ten cents short wasn’t such a big deal.)

When You Become The Target Of Their Penny Pinching

, , , , | Right | January 13, 2019

(In Canada we have phased out the penny but we still accept American pennies once we do a currency exchange.)

Me: “Okay your total is $15.03.”

Customer: *hands me 15 Canadian dollars and three pennies*

Me: “Oh sorry, ma’am, we don’t accept pennies anymore.”

Customer: “But it says $.03.”

Me: “We just round up. Canada has phased out the penny.”

Customer: “But these are American.”

Me: “Ma’am, unless I do a current exchange the machine won’t accept any pennies. It will say error if I type in $15.03.”

Customer: “Well all I have left is these pennies and I’m not changing.”

Me: “Okay, well since I’m new I’m going to have to go and get my manager to show me how to do a currency exchange.”

Customer: *groans* “FINE!” *pulls out a dime and takes back pennies* “Happy? You know Target takes pennies.”

Me: “And there are no more Targets in Canada, so that makes sense. Here’s your change.” *hands her $.05*

Customer: “Oh but you accept $.05 cents?”

Me: “…yes.”

Customer: “I’m going to write a really angry letter to Parliament.”

Me: “You do that, ma’am. Have a good day.”

Santa To The Rescue!

, , , , | Right | January 13, 2019

(I work at a very small jewelry store known for its crystals. Our store is so small that having ten people in it makes it feel overcrowded. The cash register is right next to our back room. There is no sign on our back room that says staff only. As the store is in a local mall, all the core group associates have left to take a pic with Santa and send the pic to HR, leaving just us seasonals in the store.)

Customer: “I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO HELP ME!”

(I am new to this job and have been hired JUST AS A CASHIER. That means that while I was trained on all the jewelry, I am by no means knowledgeable. The manager gets mad when I help guests because the other workers get paid on commission while I don’t.)

Me: *as I start cashing out a new person* “Someone, will be right with you, ma’am.”

Customer: “Don’t call me, ma’am.”

Me: “Sorry.”

(She stays on the side tapping her foot as I cash the person out. Out of the corner of my eye I see her push open our back room door. I jump in front of her.)

Me: “Ma’am, you cannot go back there.”

Customer: “Why?”

Me: “That’s our back room for staff only.”

Customer: “I don’t see any signs saying that.”

Me: “Regardless, you cannot go back there.”

(She actually has me stumped because while common sense says that it’s obviously not for guests, there is no sign. It could’ve been a washroom or something for all she knows.)

Customer: “I know what I want. Let me get it!”

Me: “I cannot do that. I promise someone will be with you soon.” *I raise my hand and try to get noticed by someone on the floor*

Customer: “JUST LET ME THROUGH!”

(I suffer from generalized anxiety disorder and am starting to feel hot and anxious as this customer gets more irate, and guests are getting annoyed that I stopped cashing them out to deal with her. My manager comes back, still wearing the ridiculous Christmas gear she bought to take pictures with Santa, and sees me struggling with a guest.)

Manager: “How can I help you today?”

(I slide away and finish cashing out a guest as the manager deals with the customer.)

Me: “Your total is $125. How do you wish to pay?”

(The guest hands me $150.)

Me: “Oh you gave me too many $10’s.”

Guest: *winking* “The extras are for you.”

(I thanked her and put $150 amount in the cash register, put in $125, and pretended to pocket the rest. Once she left I opened the cash register and put the rest of the money in. It was a nice gesture but we weren’t allowed to take tips. But it showed that some people still have a heart, even though I could see my manager and security escorting the irate guest out.)

Secret Santa Banter

, , , , , | Working | December 25, 2018

(My jewelry store is having a Secret Santa exchange and it cannot be a gift card. I am a seasonal associate, and therefore haven’t really known these people that well, so I have to guess at what my person will like. As I am underage, I have limited options on what I can buy; all my other coworkers love to drink. My person wrote down that she likes a specific tea shop; since there is one in the mall, I go there after work. I eventually choose a tea mug with a steeper and go to pay. I get a 10% mall discount in all food locations, so I decide to ask if that applies to this tea shop on non-food items.)

Me: “Can I get my mall discount?” *points to my nametag*

Associate: “Sure, where do you work?”

Me: “[Famous Jewelry Store].”

Associate: *looking skeptical* “Really?” *looks me up and down* “But you’re so young!”

Me: *laughing* “Yeah, I’m the youngest there. They hired me exactly on my 18th birthday. That’s why I wear my nametag; people never believe me.”

Associate: “I am so glad you laughed. As soon as I said it, I was worried it would be taken the wrong way.”

Me: “Hard day?”

(We talked for about ten minutes about bad customers and exchanged Facebooks. I drop by the store every shift to say hi.)

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