Cubic Hurtonium

, , , , | | Right | July 9, 2019

(I work for a nationwide jewelry company. People will often come to us because we can repair jewelry in-store, even if it wasn’t purchased from us. The only exception is if the metal or gemstones aren’t genuine, because the tools we used for repair would destroy the pieces or crack the imitation stones. Each time a customer brings in a piece to be repaired, we have to verify the metal is indeed gold, silver, or platinum, and that the stones are genuine. A young couple comes into the store, and they approach me at the repair counter.)

Me: “Hello! How can I help you today?”

Woman: *hands me her engagement ring* “Yeah, one of the things that holds the diamond on the ring broke off.”

Me: “One of the prongs? Well, it’s a good thing you noticed. Did you buy this piece from us?”

Woman: *glances back at her fiancé, who is engrossed in his phone, then gives me a smug look* “No, he bought it from [Famous Higher-End Brand], of course. He wouldn’t buy me any of the cheap rings you have here. Right, babe?”

Man: *barely glances up* “Uh, yeah, from [Higher-End Brand].”

Woman: “See? But the closest store is too far away, and somebody told me you’d fix it even if it didn’t come from here.”

Me: *maintaining my retail smile* “Yes, of course. I just need to examine the ring and have you fill out some paperwork.”

(I hand her a form to fill out and then begin by cleaning the ring thoroughly. It is DISGUSTING, but thankfully, I always wear gloves when handling other people’s jewelry. Then, I look at it under a microscope to make sure there is only one broken prong, and I can’t find the metal stamp in the ring shank. Those can sometimes wear off, but it looks like the inside of the shank is actually flaking. Also, something about the stone looks off. Less expensive diamonds can often be cloudy or have black spots, but this one almost looks like it has fogged up from the inside. I grab the electronic tester and hold it to the stone. A green light means it is genuine diamond, but a red light means it is CZ, or some other imitation. When that red light lights up, my stomach drops. I test it three more times and get three more red lights. No way did this ring come from [Higher-End Brand].)

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am? Sir? I’m afraid we won’t be able to repair the prong on your ring.”

Woman: “What? Why not?!”

Me: *preparing myself for a meltdown* “I’m afraid that this ring is most likely not made of precious metal, so our tools would not work on it. Also, your stone is not a genuine diamond, so any heat from our tools would crack it.”

Woman: “WHAT DO YOU MEAN, IT’S NOT REAL?!”

Man: *finally realizes what I just said* “Uh… Come on, baby, let’s go. She doesn’t know what she’s talking about.”

Me: “You’re welcome to try another store for a second opinion, of course.”

(I carefully placed the ring on the counter. The woman snatched her ring up without another word and stormed out of the store with her fiancé behind her. I left the counter a few seconds later and moved to a window with a view of the parking lot, just in time to see this woman PUNCH her fiancé square in the nose! She started screaming at him and hitting him around the head and shoulders. My manager ended up having to call the police to escort them out of our parking lot.)

Telling Her “No” Has A Nice Ring To It

, , | Right | April 19, 2019

(I work for several years for a jewelry company. My main job is to run the repairs desk and take orders for the jewelers. One day, I am helping a sweet, elderly lady who wants to have her husband’s few pieces of jewelry melted down into a necklace. They were married for over 50 years and he recently passed away, and I am honored to help her. We are in the middle of her scheduled appointment when a well-dressed, middle-aged woman marches into the store and approaches my desk.)

Me: *to the first customer, [Lady #1]* “I think this design would work very well; it’s simple and you can use the stone from your husband’s other ring in the center.”

Lady #1: “I do like that! Do you think we could—“

Lady #2: *walks up and slaps her purse onto the counter to get my attention* “I need my rings cleaned and rhodium plated!”

Me: “Of course, ma’am. If you don’t mind waiting just a few minutes, I’ll be with you as soon as I’m done with this customer.”

Lady #2: “I said, I need my rings cleaned!” *holds up her hand, which is weighed down by a massive diamond ring and multiple diamond bands* “This is important! I need them clean for an event tonight!”

Me: “I completely understand, ma’am; however, this lady was already here for a scheduled appointment. I can also see if another employee can assist you, if you don’t have time to wait for me.”

Lady #2: “This is unacceptable! I insist you help me right now! I need these done in ten minutes!”

Lady #1: *whispers to me* “If you need to take care of her…”

Me: *to [Lady #1]* “No, it’s okay Mrs. [Lady #1].” *to [Lady #2]* “Ma’am, even if I was free to help you, which, unfortunately, I am not, the jewelers would need at least an hour to properly clean that many rings, check the prongs for diamond security, and then replate the rhodium coating.”

([Lady #2] makes a growl-like sound and stomps across the store. I see her talking to my manager and pointing at me.)

Lady #1: “Oh, my… I hope you won’t be in trouble, [My Name].”

Me: “Don’t worry; my manager will help her.”

(I’m finishing up [Lady #1]’s order request. Right around the same time, I see [Lady #2] stomp out of the store, get into the back of an expensive car, and drive away. [Lady #1] is so appreciative that we’ll be able to help her create a keepsake to remember her husband by, and I make sure we’ve got everything she needs before walking her out of the store. On my way back to my counter, the manager pulls me aside.)

Manager: “I just want you to know that you did the right thing. Mrs. [Lady #1] is a good customer and her husband bought gifts for her from us for years.”

Me: “Thank you. What was the emergency with that other woman?”

Manager: “You didn’t recognize her?”

Me: “No… Was I supposed to?”

Manager: *laughs* “That was [Large Tech Company CEO]’s wife. She refuses to make appointments to have her work done.”

Me: “So, she expected me to drop my appointment with a sweet, eighty-year-old lady and help her, instead?”

Manager: *sighs* “Yes. Usually, I try to grab her as soon as she comes in, but I missed her this time.”

Me: “Well, at least I know to look out for her now.”

(From then on, Mrs. [Lady #2] refused to work with anyone but the manager, which was fine with me. [Lady #1]’s necklace turned out perfectly; she even hugged me and cried a little when she picked it up. That, of course, made me cry, too! She still comes in every once in a while to have her necklace cleaned, and says people always ask her about her necklace.)

Lipsticks On Pugs

, , , , | Right | February 5, 2019

(I’m cashing a woman out and making casual conversation.)

Customer: “How long have you worked here?”

Me: “About a year and a half. What do you do for a living?”

Customer: “Oh, I’m starting a business. It’s like a brothel, but you trade a pug in for a prostitute. I started a Kickstarter to fund it.”

Me: “Oh, well… Good luck with that.”

Customer: “Thanks, darling. Have a great day!”

A Dime Crime

, , , , , | Right | January 21, 2019

(A customer tells me she wants to get rid of her change, so she pays in mostly loonies, quarters, and a few dimes. I type in the change and scoop some up to put in the register.)

Me: “Okay, so—“

Customer: “Oh, I want to keep that.” *puts a dime I didn’t pick up back into her wallet*

Me: “Oh, wait. If you take that back you won’t have enough to pay and my till will be off.”

Customer: “But I want the dime.”

Me: “But you technically already gave it to me.”

Customer: “I. Want. The. Dime. Back. I didn’t mean to give it to you.”

Me: “Okay, do you have money you can give me in exchange for that? You haven’t fully paid yet if you take back the dime.”

Customer: “I. WANT. THE. DIME. BACK! [STORE] IS STEALING MONEY FROM CUSTOMERS! NO ONE BUY HERE!”

(It was one of my first days on the job and my manager was MIA so I just let her leave since being ten cents short wasn’t such a big deal.)

When You Become The Target Of Their Penny Pinching

, , , , | | Right | January 13, 2019

(In Canada we have phased out the penny but we still accept American pennies once we do a currency exchange.)

Me: “Okay, your total is $15.03.”

Customer: *hands me 15 Canadian dollars and three pennies*

Me: “Oh, sorry, ma’am, we don’t accept pennies anymore.”

Customer: “But it says $.03.”

Me: “We just round up. Canada has phased out the penny.”

Customer: “But these are American.”

Me: “Ma’am, unless I do a current exchange the machine won’t accept any pennies. It will say error if I type in $15.03.”

Customer: “Well, all I have left is these pennies and I’m not changing.”

Me: “Okay, since I’m new I’m going to have to go and get my manager to show me how to do a currency exchange.”

Customer: *groans* “FINE!” *pulls out a dime and takes back pennies* “Happy? You know, Target takes pennies.”

Me: “And there are no more Targets in Canada, so that makes sense. Here’s your change.” *hands her $.05*

Customer: “Oh, but you accept $.05 cents?”

Me: “…yes.”

Customer: “I’m going to write a really angry letter to Parliament.”

Me: “You do that, ma’am. Have a good day.”

Page 1/1412345...Last