A woman walks in with an anniversary ring: gold band, single clear stone. She’s well-dressed, late 40s, and smiles as she approaches the counter.

Customer: “Hi, I was hoping to get this ring reset into a new setting. It’s our ten-year anniversary, and I want to modernize it.”

Me: “Of course! Let me take a look.”

I examine it under the scope for a moment, then gently clear my throat.

Me: “Just to check, did you want to keep the original stone, or are you looking to upgrade it as well?”

Customer: “Oh no, I want to keep the original diamond! It’s sentimental.”

Me: “Understood. Just so you’re aware… the stone isn’t a diamond. It’s cubic zirconia.”

There’s a long silence.

Customer: *Blinking.* “No, that can’t be right. It’s my anniversary ring.”

Me: “I completely understand. But it’s definitely cubic zirconia, our equipment doesn’t make mistakes on this.”

Customer: *Growing flustered.* “But we bought it from a real jewelry store! My husband picked it out himself!”

All I can do is give her a pained smile.

Customer: *Visibly fuming.* “So this whole time… I’ve been showing off fake ice?”

Me: “Well, you did say it was sentimental?”

Customer: “F*** sentiment! I wanted a real diamond!”

Me: “So… would you like to proceed with the resetting?”

Customer: “I think for our anniversary, I’m going to bring my husband back here and suggest he be part of the resetting decision-making process. Make him sweat a little.”

She picks up her ring and exits the store. She never came back, so I guess she must have resolved her issue at home? 

Related:
Hell Hath No Fury Like A Woman With Fake Stones

A young man comes into the store with his parents.

Customer: “I’m here to find an engagement ring for my fiancée, well, hopefully my fiancée.”

Customer’s Mum: “I’m here to make sure he picks something that she’s actually going to like.”

Customer’s Dad: *Grumpily.* “I’m here to make sure either of them stays on budget!”

I awkwardly laugh it off and show them our selection. They spend half an hour ooh-ing and aah-ing and settle on a few options.

Customer’s Mum: “So how much are these?”

Me: “This one in this setting is [price].”

Customer’s Dad: “Jesus Christ! How much?!”

Customer: “Dad, that’s the standard price for this kind of ring these days.”

Customer’s Dad: “What does it do for that price? Rule them all, find them, bring them all, and bind them?!”

The dad’s outburst reminded the mum to ask about engraving.

Customer: “Does this bracelet come in any other color?”

Me: “No, sorry, only black.”

Customer: “Does it come in green?”

Me: “…no, like I said it’s only black. It’s black onyx.”

Customer: “I want green onyx.”

Me: “That’s not a naturally occurring gemstone. If you want something green I have these jade necklaces here.”

The customer looks at a few pieces.

Customer: “This one is nice, but do you have it in black?”

Me: “…”

A couple came in to get their rings inspected/cleaned. They bring their six-to-eight-year-old daughter with them. 

While the parents are talking with the manager, the little girl starts asking me about the gemstones, and she is actually pretty knowledgeable concerning what they are.

Little Girl: “We’re going to get a birthstone ring for Mom, but they want to wait because Mom and Dad are going to have another baby. They’re having a lot of sex, so it shouldn’t take too long.”

Warning! Initiate subject-changing protocol.

Me: “Do you like necklaces?!”

Little Girl: “Oooh yeah! They’re pretty!”

Good on the parents for teaching their kid about sex, but they may have missed a few bits about not discussing it with strangers in jewelry stores!

It’s the busy holiday season and this gentleman comes in.

Customer: “My wife saw a pendant here a couple of months ago. I want to get it for her for Christmas. It was round.”

Yup. That’s the whole thing. Thanks for narrowing it down, sir!