How To Make Me Blue

, | NY, USA | Crazy Requests

(I design and create jewelry for my own business. I often take custom requests.)

Customer: “I like that piece you made, but I’d really like it in blue.”

Me: “Okay, here are the blue beads you can choose from.”

Customer: “Well, I want a blue, but not too blue. Do you have anything like that?”

Me: “These are what I have available. If you would like me to place a special order for a different shade of blue, I’d be happy to.”

(Customer looks over the options and chooses the same darn shade I offered her. I finish the piece and send her photos.)

Customer: “Wow, that’s really… blue.”

Me: “Indeed. Those are the beads you selected.”

Customer: “Hmm. Can you make it in red?”

(Cut to me, crying and drinking in the corner.)

Can’t Tarnish Your Christmas

, | PA, USA | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(I work in fine jewelry at a local department store. It’s about three weeks to Christmas and I notice a woman is looking in the sterling silver case and I go to help her.)

Me: “Is there anything I can help you with?”

Woman: “Yes, I am interested in that cross necklace there.”

(I proceed to pull out the cross she mentions and hand it to her to look at.)

Woman: “This chain is tarnished. Is there some kind of discount on it because it’s tarnished?”

Me: “I am not sure, but I can find out for you if you don’t mind waiting a moment.”

(She is fine with waiting so I call a manager and explain what is going on and show her the necklace.)

Manager: “See if you can get it clean for her but take an extra 15% off the sale price.”

(I proceed to grab the silver polishing rag and begin working on the chain. It’s obvious that the tarnish was going to come off so I worked on it then walk back down to the customer.)

Me: “Well, I’ve gotten the tarnish off for you.” *as I hand it to her to look at*

Woman: *takes the necklace but doesn’t really look at it* “I think you’re a lying little s***.”

(I am a bit stunned for a second because I’ve never had a customer say anything like that to me before.)

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am, but I don’t appreciated being called a ‘lying little s***,’ especially when I was trying to help you out.”

(Needless to say she turned red when she realized another customer, who was standing right beside her, heard the whole thing. I sold her the necklace with the extra 15% and she left. I ended up having to stock something else in the store, when I came back I found a Christmas card that she had left for me as an apology.)

Skating Around The Cheapness

| Australia | Money

(We have a big sale going on and I’m helping a customer choose some cufflinks for her fiancé. We have about 30 on show and about a third are half price.)

Customer: “Oh, those ones are nice but they’re not reduced. Can’t you do anything about the price?”

Me: “Unfortunately not. Since we have heaps of items on sale we can’t reduce anything not part of the sale.”

Customer: “Aw, really? Can’t you ask the manager?”

Me: “…I am the manager.”

Customer: “Oh, haha.”

(She ‘ums’ and ‘ahs’ for several minutes talking with her friend about which would look better but then finally settles on a set on sale for $12. We go to the till to ring her up.)

Customer: “Oh, don’t you have any chains that are 18ct?”

Me: “No, sorry. They’re all 9ct because no one wants to pay the price for 18ct chains.”

Customer: “Oh, haha. What a bunch of cheapskates.”

Me: *internally dying at the irony*

Most People At The Checkout Have Already Checked Out

| FL, USA | At The Checkout, Spouses & Partners

(A very friendly couple come up to my jewelry counter and pick out an anniversary piece for the wife. As I’m preparing her necklace, they pass the time by looking through one of the other nearby jewelry cases.)

Wife: *to husband* “What do you think about that pearl necklace, honey?”

Husband: “I don’t know; I wouldn’t be the one wearing it. You said I’m not allowed to wear your pearls anymore.”

Wife: “No, I said you’re not allowed to wear my underwear anymore.”

Husband: *to me* “Never a dull moment in our house.”

Wife: *to me* “We’re just joking, of course.”

Me: “You’d be surprised how many kinds of people come through here, ma’am…”

Fat Chance Of A Haunting

| UT, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

(I work for a small family run jewelry store. We are fairly flexible with returns as long as no work was done on the item (i.e., sizing to finger, switching stones, etc). )

Customer: “I would like to return this ring I purchased.”

Me: “Let me look up your history. Your name?”

Customer: *gives name* “I can’t keep this ring.”

Me: “Okay. Unfortunately it was sized, so is non returnable. Is there anything wrong with the fit?”

Customer: “No, nothing wrong with the fit. I think it’s haunted.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “I think it’s carrying a curse or is haunted. When I bought it, it was a larger size and my finger is much smaller. The person who owned it before must have died of heart disease and I might catch it.”

Me: “I can assure you, you won’t get heart disease from this ring.”

(She kept going on about how she couldn’t have that ring because it might cause her to gain weight like the previous owner. I reassured her over and over that rings can’t make you gain weight. To no avail we ended up taking the ring back and selling her a new ring with no fat history.)

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