A Hot Slice Of Injustice

, , , | Friendly | March 18, 2018

(My friend has invited me to an anime convention, partly for fun, and partly to make friends with their friends. I’ll admit that I’m a very socially anxious person, but friends of my friend must be good people, right? At lunch time, I notice that the pizza slices are all under $2. We’re five people, and $10 to $20 would be easy with my budget, so I offer to pay for the pizza. Everyone gets two slices. My friend’s friends all walk past the ice cream fridge, where they are selling these tiny tubs of ice cream for $4 each. They all get one and say:)

Them: “You’re paying, right?”

Me: “Um, for the pizza…”

Them: “Great!”

(They told the cashier I was paying for all of it. I don’t hang out with those people anymore.)

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Has A Speech Prepared Right Out Of The Gay-te

, , , , , , , | Working | March 1, 2018

(I’ve been working at a grocery store for a few months with a manager who is, frankly, a miserable human being. He’s aggressively rude, blunt in all the wrong ways, and quick to lambaste you for minor mistakes and ride you on them for weeks. And, unfortunately, upper management is terrified of doing anything to him because he’s openly, flamboyantly gay and cries discrimination and homophobia the second someone so much as criticizes him. After finally having enough, I’ve decided to quit and decide to let him — the main reason for it — know exactly what I think about him.)

Manager: “Hey, [My Name], I heard you’re ending your employment with us. That’s a shame. Is there any reason in particular?”

Me: “Well… It’s a coworker issue, mostly.”

(He shoots me this toothy smile like he knows I’m about to say something he can twist. Not wanting to give him even a shadow of a chance of playing this game with me, I cut in.)

Me: “Let me tell you something about myself. I’m in a romantic situation that would make churches in this area try to exorcise us: I’m in a polyamorous relationship with three other people, including a trans-woman and another man. I’m so comfortable in my pansexuality I make you look straight; I’ve just never dared use it as an excuse for abusing people and getting away with it. I’m quitting because you’re an abusive creep of a manager and absolute scum of humanity; it has nothing to do with you being gay, or camp, or whatever. You’re just an a**hole.”

(At that, I flick my name-tag onto the table and toss my company vest off, while he and the rest of the office stand there, too stunned to respond.)

Me: “By the way, last night when he came in, I told your husband I saw you kissing [Coworker] a week ago. I heard you say you wondered why he went to his parents’ and didn’t call you last night; there you go.”

(I left just in time to hear him process what just happened and start freaking out. To his credit, though, a coworker I kept in touch with told me I humbled him pretty badly — even if I ruined his marriage — and he has started taking criticism on how to be a better person.)

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Capitalism: The Charity Loophole

, , , , , | Right | January 28, 2018

(I work in the outlet store for a very popular clothing brand. We have just started a donation drive for a local charity, and as it is the first time we’ve ever done this, we are still working through some of the issues with it. The way we are raising money is by offering a ten-dollar discount whenever a customer makes a donation of any amount. We have one couple on the first day of donations who realizes that if they buy a ten dollar shirt and donate a dollar it will essentially only cost them a dollar. After realizing, this they come back several times, all to different cashiers, before we catch on. For this reason, we have decided to limit the number of discounts to two per person. The following exchange takes place the next day.)

Coworker: *over walkie* “Hey, I think the same couple who bought all those shirts yesterday is in here again.”

Manager: “Really? Are you sure?”

Coworker: “Yeah. They’re literally wearing the exact same outfits as yesterday. And they brought friends this time.”

Manager: “Okay. Just keep an eye out when they come up to the register, and don’t let them do more than two transactions.”

(About half an hour later, they end up at my register with arms full of clothing.)

Customer #1: “Hi. I’d like to ring all of these items up separately and put a donation on each.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, but we are actually only allowed to let each person do two transactions a piece.”

Customer #1: “Really? I was in here yesterday and I was able to do more than that.”

Me: “Yes. Unfortunately, we had too many people abusing our donation system, and we are no longer allowed to split transactions in order to add the discounts.”

(The group of customers then spends several minutes trying to convince me otherwise but eventually leaves to regroup. When they come back, all four of them line up separately with two items a piece, and I end up ringing them out again. Although they still continue to argue with me about the two-transaction rule, they eventually pay for their purchases and leave. About two hours later, the two women from the group return, giggling, thinking we won’t remember them. They eventually end up back in line, and I time it out so that they end up with me as their cashier again.)

Customer #2: *as I begin ringing all of their items together* “Oh, no. I want you to ring up each item separately, and add a dollar donation to each.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but you’ve already used your two donation discounts for the day.”

Customer #2: *dumbfounded that I actually remembered them* “Oh. I wasn’t aware that was how it worked. I don’t want any of it, then.”

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