, , , , | Right | March 12, 2018

(I work at a retail cosmetics store as an aesthetician, but often walk the floor to assist customers. I am part Mexican, but only one quarter, and the rest is an amalgamation of Caucasian, so I simply look a bit “ethnic,” and no one can ever place my ethnicity. I’m very used to it. I’m helping an elderly woman customer look through different makeups and having some polite conversation while doing so.)

Customer: “Now, what ethnicity are you? Greek? Indian?”

Me: “I’m actually part Mexican—”

Customer: “No, that’s not it.”

(I guess she would know better than I would.)

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The Mother Of All Cheap Customers

, , , , , | Right | March 11, 2018

(It is Mother’s Day. We have had lots of deliveries of £1 bunches of daffodils. A lot of them are dated today, so to clear them, we have reduced them down to 40p per bunch and put them on the checkouts for customers to see. We have also been told to offer them to all customers. A young man comes up to my till with a nice bouquet of flowers costing £6.)

Me: “Your mum will love these. Would you like a bunch of daffodils to give to her as well?”

Customer: “They’re only 40p?”

Me: “Indeed. A little extra present for Mum?”

Customer: “Actually, I’ll leave these [the £6 bouquet] and buy a bunch of these [the 40p daffodils], instead! Thanks!”

(He pays his 40p and walks off. I realise that instead of getting an extra 40p from him, I’ve lost £5.60 from the sale! As I mull over this…)

Next Customer: “I feel sorry for his mum!”

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Looks Like Those Friends Didn’t Work Out

, , , , | Working | March 11, 2018

(I apply as a forklift operator — a job for which I have years of experience and several certifications — for a three-month job. The company likes my resume and sends me to a one-week, unpaid training course. At the end of the week, I am told that I performed pretty well, and I’ll be called on the following Monday to know when I will begin to work. Monday comes and passes by, and no call. I call the company on Tuesday just to hear that, “Sadly,” because of some lame excuse, I have not been hired. Two weeks later, the same company calls me and asks me if I am still available, as there is an opening for the remaining two-and-a-half months. Still unemployed, I gladly accept… only to be called a day after and be told, again, that because of another lame excuse, I wasn’t hired. After talking around, I’m told the managers of the company are prone to hire “friends” and “friends of friends,” even if they’re under-skilled, so I drop every expectation with this company and move on. Two months later, I have another job that I’m quite satisfied with, when the phone rings.)

Employee #1: “Hello, I’m [Employee #1] from [Company]. There is an opening, so you will begin tomorrow for a two-week contract.”

Me: “Sorry, but I’m not available anymore. Thank you, anyway, for the call, and have a nice day.”

Employee #1: “Ah… Okay… Have a nice day.”

(The next day, the phone rings again:)

Employee #2: “Hello, I’m [Employee #2] from [Company]. I know you already spoke with my coworker yesterday, but we really need you. We are still in the final production rush and we can’t find enough personnel.”

Me: “I’m afraid I’m not available.”

Employee #2: “Please? You already made the training, and you have the needed certifications. We really are short on employees!”

Me: “Again, I have a new job, and I surely won’t quit for a two-week contract. Please do not contact me again.”

(They tried to call me another two times, but I simply dropped their calls until they stopped trying. Seriously, we are still in an economic crisis and many people still strive to find a job, but do they really expect someone to be sitting on his butt for two months waiting for a vague “maybe in the future,” or even willing to quit a better job for a two-week contract?)

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Trying To Seize Some Sympathy

, , , , , | Healthy | March 11, 2018

(I am in high school, and I come home to one of my two dogs having had a severe stroke. I hold her the entire way to the vet and stay at the office while they put her down. My remaining dog is my favorite dog of all time. One day, around five am, I go downstairs to find him having a seizure. I can’t drive, my parents are at work an hour away, and no vet offices are open around me. I am panicking so badly that I decide to call 911.)

Operator: “You have reached a 911 operator. What is your emergency?”

Me: *through panic and tears* “My dog is having a seizure and I don’t know what to do!”

Operator: “You will have to dial a vet. This is for emergencies.”

Me: “There are no vets open around me! Please tell me what I should do. Is there anywhere I can call? Anyone who can help me?”

Operator: “Look. You need to calm down and just call a vet. This is an emergency service.”

(I ended up hanging up and repeatedly calling my parents until one of them answered. Eventually an adult arrived and comforted my dog for the three hours until a vet opened. My dog died that day. People still joke about me calling 911 over a dog having a seizure.)

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Doesn’t Have A Nice Ring To It

, , , , | Right | March 9, 2018

(I’m working a normal day in a restaurant, and everything is going fairly well until this happens. A customer approaches me at the front counter.)

Customer: “Hi, excuse me. How many onion rings do you get in one order?”

Me: *thinking* “Uh, should be five. Did you not get that many?”

Customer: “No, I did, I was just thinking, is that all you get?”

Me: “Um…Yes? Were they really tiny?” *gestures a one inch diameter circle*

Customer: “No, they were all this big.” *gestures a large three inch diameter*

(Usually we do not give out even three onion rings of this size, so this lady has had a fairly generous order.)

Me: “Yeah, that sounds about right.”

Customer: “That’s really all you get? For two dollars? You only get five onion rings?!”

Me: *dumbfounded* “Yeaaaaahhh.”

(I am so confused; usually people like our onion rings because of the different breading and because they are so large.)

Customer: “Well, then. We’ll never come here again.”

Me: “Okay? Have a nice day!”

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