The Pen Is Mightier Than Your Word

, , , , , , | Working | October 18, 2017

(I work for a supermarket as a delivery driver. My job requires me to do some paperwork and I often find myself needing pens. One morning I decide to purchase some from the store I’m based out of before I begin my shift, and I pick up some breakfast while I’m doing this. To get from the aisle with my breakfast items to the pens I walk past the front of store security officer who is well-known for his dislike of delivery drivers, for reasons I don’t know.)

Security Officer: “Excuse me, you can’t take items you purchased through to the staff room from the back; you have to go around the outside.”

(This is a store policy to prevent staff taking items from the shelves and consuming them without paying for them.)

Me: “Yup, I know, but I’m going to get some pens.”

Security Officer: “You cannot take items through the store; you must go around the outside.”

Me: “Yes. I know. I haven’t even paid for this yet. I want to go and get some pens.”

Security Officer: “If you attempt to go further I will have to detain you and inform your manager.”

Me: “Fine, I tell you what; hold my breakfast while I go and get pens.” *I hand him my breakfast and start to walk away.*

Security Officer: “It is not my job to return the items you are attempting to steal; please do so yourself and in future, control yourself!”

(I ignored him, walked over to the aisle containing pens, and picked up a pack. I walked back over, took my breakfast from him, and joined the line to pay for my purchases and proceeded to go about my work day. It turns out he decided to report my “attempted theft” to my manager, but my manager is well aware of his grudge against delivery drivers and ignored him. Some days later my manager informed me I had been reported for “gross misconduct” to the store manager. Since the CCTV footage showed me walking through the store, getting my breakfast, attempting to get pens, and nothing else, it was concluded by the store manager that I was probably just getting pens.)

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Trying To Posit How Deposits Work

, , , , , , | Right | October 18, 2017

(A customer calls to accept her quote, and pay the scheduling deposit.)

Customer: “Okay, so, I am going to pay $300 deposit today, and pay the rest when the guys get here. I need you here September 8.” *in three days*

Me: “I’m sorry, that won’t work. We are currently booking the end of October, and we require a 50% non-refundable deposit, up to $2,500, now, in order to hold your place in the schedule. Your entire job will cost about $14,000, so that means we need the $2,500 now.”

Customer: “I don’t want to pay that much now, and I can’t wait until the end of October. I will pay $500 now, so you can hold my spot, and I’ll let you come September 15. Then I will call around and see if I can get someone out here sooner than that; if I can, I’ll get the money refunded back to pay them instead of you.”

Me: “Well, you are welcome to call around if you like, but I will need the $2,500 now if you would like your spot at the end of October held, and as it says in your contract, that amount is non-refundable.”

Customer: “Well, that policy is illegal. You can’t keep my deposit if I can find someone else to do it first! You probably lose a lot of money that way!”

Me: “We do lose some jobs because people need us to come sooner than we are able; that is why all deposits are non-refundable. If we lose another job because the end of October is booked with your job, and then you cancel, we can use your deposit to make payroll, keep our employees so we are able to do the rest of the jobs we have scheduled, and cover overhead even though we have nothing booked and have lost other potential jobs for it. We usually book out two to eight weeks in advance, at all times of the year, so I don’t think we are losing a lot of custom over this. It’s also not illegal, and clearly laid out in your contract.”

Customer: “Fine, I will just pay on credit card today; at least that way I can cancel the charge if I find someone else who can do it sooner.”

Me: “And you’ve just said the magic words! Now we require payment by certified cheque or bank draft for the whole amount before we will put you in the schedule. Whenever you drop that off at the office, I can book you in at that time. For every day you wait, our lead time gets two to three days longer until after Christmas, when our lead times start to drop. I will send you an email confirming the new terms of your contract.”

Customer: “You can’t do that; it’s illegal to charge for goods before the customer gets them. You can’t do this. Deposits are always refundable; it’s the law! You aren’t allowed to do this!”

Me: “You should go explain those laws to [Coffee Shop] and to every hotel, ever, ma’am. You have a nice day now.”

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Roommate And Chemicals Don’t Mix

, , , , , , , , | Friendly | October 17, 2017

(I have been attending college and just moved into my first apartment. I am a slightly older student, and so I asked for an older roommate. I am there for one month, and my roommate proceeds to give me the cold shoulder the entire time. Finally, after three and a half weeks, he starts to warm up to me. One Thursday night, I invite my friends over to hang out. My roommate decides to join us, and they begin playing a drinking game. I do not drink, so I am drinking water. Everyone gets drunk pretty quickly.)

Friend #1: “I’m hungry. Do you have any snacks? Anything sweet?”

Me: “Yeah, there’s some ice cream in the fridge; help yourself!”

Friend #2: “I want some ice cream!”

Roommate: “You can’t have any ice cream; you’ll throw up. Don’t make me take care of you tonight.”

Friend #2: “I’ll be fine!”

Friend #1: “Yeah, she didn’t drink that much.”

Roommate: “Whatever, man…”

Me: *to my friend* “Hey, I might have something for your stomach…”

(As I try and ask if [Antacid] or [Motion Sickness Medicine] would work, my roommate loses his cool. He stands up in his seat and begins screaming at me at the top of his lungs from across the table.)

Roommate:What?! What are you talking about!? Chemicals?! She needs water!

(He jabs his finger in my face to emphasize his point. I am staring at him like a deer caught in the headlights. I really don’t handle people screaming at me very well, especially drunk people, and tend to panic or cry.)

Friend #1 & #2: “Woah, you need to calm down.”

Roommate: “NO! SHE’S OFFERING YOU CHEMICALS! What was it you said!?” *I hadn’t named anything yet.* “SHE NEEDS TO DRINK WATER! YOU GOT THAT!? WHAT THE F*** IS WRONG WITH YOU!?”

(He storms off to his room, still screaming at the top of his lungs. As my friends try to talk him down, I shakily stand up and head off to my room. However, doing this seems to irritate my roommate more, and he becomes much louder.)

Friend #2: “You need to stop!”


Me: *turns to look at my roommate* “Can I say something? I’m not leaving because you were wrong. I’m sorry; I wasn’t thinking.” *at this point I really just want him to stop screaming* “I left because you’re screaming at me and it’s very rude.”


Me: “What? I’ve never been in your room.”


Me: “I—”


Me: “B-because my heart is pounding? You’re screaming at me.”


(Then he stormed out of the apartment, stomping so loudly that the floor to our third-floor apartment shook. After this, I was scared of this man and proceeded to go home. I spent the next week quickly moving my stuff out of the apartment and commuting to school, which took two whole hours, one way. I came to find out that he submitted a complaint to the front office within the first day of me living there. It made things very ironic and incredibly creepy when I returned to the apartment at the end of the week and found that not only had he stolen some of my personal belongings from the common area, he had also dug through my personal trash for things to keep. I will be filing a police report tomorrow morning. Guilty conscious much?)

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Spare A Nickel Of Charity?

, , , , , | Right | October 17, 2017

(Our chain has implemented a “roundup” feature; customers are asked if they want to round their total up to the nearest dollar, with the extra cents being donated to a children’s charity. The outcome means that it is impossible for the donation to ever be more than 99 cents.)

Customer: “What’s this prompt asking me?”

Me: “It’s asking if you want to round the total of your purchase up to the next dollar, and donate the extra to charity.”

(The customer hits yes before proceeding with her question.)

Customer: “Oh, now I remember. I think I donated two or three dollars with it the last time I was here. How much is it this time?”

Me: “Less than a dollar, ma’am.”

(The transaction proceeds normally, until we finally reach the end.)

Me: “All right, your total is $28.00.”

Customer: “It’s how much? Oh, no. That can’t be right!”

(She begins rummaging around in her wallet, still thinking aloud.)

Customer: “I’m sure I added everything up correctly, but I didn’t bring enough for that with me… Wait, I know! It was that donation! How much did you say it was?”

Me: “Less than a dollar?”

Customer: “Well, take it off. I’m sorry; I didn’t realize it was going to be so much.”

(I go ahead and cancel it, displaying her new total without the rounding.)

Me: “All right, your total is… $27.95, ma’am.”

(The customer promptly pulled out $28 in cash, and I handed her the nickel in change.)

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A Closed Open Policy

, , , , , | Working | October 17, 2017

(We have a company meeting at another location that digs into time that would normally be spent doing weekly audits of our ATM machine. At the meeting I ask [Coworker] to leave for our branch ASAP so that we can finish before we open. [Coworker] takes her time, and arrives 15 minutes after I do. I set everything up so that all she has to do is punch in her code and we can start balancing. Instead of assisting, [Coworker] punches in her code and then checks her email, applies lipstick, and logs on to social media, all while I’m frantically counting cash, balancing it against spread sheets, and strapping it to load back in. Finally I finish.)

Me: “[Coworker], can you punch in your code again?”

Coworker: *in the nastiest tone possible* “Oh, now you need me.”

Me: “You could have helped me this whole time! I needed help.”

Coworker: “You could have waited for me. Everyone knows you need at least 15 minutes to settle in before you actually start working.”

(We opened late that day.)

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