We recently switched to our winter hours at the athletic center I work at. A patron comes in, apparently unaware of the changes. I explain the new schedule.

Patron: “Nobody told me the hours changed! How are we supposed to know when to come?“

Me: “We keep our website updated with all the changes.”

Patron: “Only nerds keep track of the website! No one has time to look things up!”

Me: “Okay, have a nice day!”

I work in a fast food restaurant. A lady calls in a to-go order.

Customer: “I would like a kids’ grilled cheese with no cheese, and add bacon.”

This means the only thing on there is bacon and bread. She calls back complaining that there was only bacon and bread. We offer to remake it and she refuses.

She comes in the next day for a refund.

Me: “Ma’am, your sandwich came the way it did because you—”

She isn’t having it, so I ask for her receipt, which she balls up and throws at me. I process her refund, and I slide the money across the counter to her.

Customer: “You are so disrespectful! You are going to pick that money back up and hand it to me!”

Me: “Ma’am, our protocol dictates that we do it this way to avoid contact due to the [global health crisis].”

Customer: *Snatching up the money* “Fine. But I am never coming back here!”

I work for a medical device company providing support. It’s essentially answering questions about use and any problems that pop up during use.

I have a patient who ordered a replacement part, and it was sent to the wrong address. We order a new replacement, and I promise to follow up once I get the tracking information to relay it to the patient.

I end up in a car accident on the way home, and after spending the night in the hospital, I take a few days off to recover. I come back to the office and find my email flooded with messages from the patient. He’s angry that I haven’t provided an update and has apparently also flooded the office with calls demanding to speak to me.

I call the patient back, and I let him know that I was out of the office due to an accident.

Patient: “How is that my problem?”

I let my manager handle him after that.

I work in an art gallery. Just before closing time, a woman who had exited the gallery came back in again wanting to use the bathroom.

Customer: “You saw me come in already. Can I just use the bathroom?”

Me: “The closest one is occupied. By the time that guest gets out, we will be completing our closing procedures and asking people to leave.”

The visitor exit is time-locked. Anyone left in the gallery after that has to wait to be let out by an employee.

Customer: “You are a horrible human being. Absolutely horrible service. Disgusting how you treat people.”

Me: “You can use the public bathrooms at [Location].”

This is about three minutes’ walk away — in the direction she was heading!

She continues her tantrum and attracts the attention of security, who soon relents and lets her head up to an upstairs bathroom. After she’s finished, she tries to get out by the entrance-only door, which is locked about ten minutes prior to closing. The only exit is by me.

Customer: *Walking by me bitterly* “Thank you.”

 She then proceeded to dump her used paper hand towels — at least, I hope they were hand towels — onto the host table. Just goes to show that even when you give them what they want, they’re still miserable.

During my last couple of years of high school, and throughout college, I work summers at my uncle’s (my Mom’s brother’s) restaurant. I am nineteen at the time, and this is my third summer working there. We have a party of eleven people coming in on a late Saturday afternoon. The “lead” person at the table is a guy who is in his early forties or so, and the rest are apparently all related in one way or another. All of them are adults, the youngest maybe in their early twenties.

I’m a very good waitress. My uncle trusts me implicitly and he understands that I know what I am doing. My uncle hates chronic complainers and charlatans that look for any excuse to get a comped or partially-comped meal.

Most people at the table don’t really complain directly themselves, but they certainly support this guy in his complaints by nodding in agreement or saying things like, “Yeah, that’s right!” whenever he complains about something.

Right from the get-go, he complains about anything and everything. I am too slow getting them their menus, even though I bring them over within thirty seconds of sitting them. Silverware settings are missing, either a knife, fork, or spoon. I know they are missing because he’s the one who removed them. I saw him take a spoon, fork, or knife away from each setting and toss them into a nearby tray that we used to put dirty plates when clearing the tables.

The steak he ordered well-done is too well-done, and the replacement is not well-done enough even though it does not have a shred of pink in the center. The waters aren’t filled promptly enough, his dessert is far too sweet, and his decaf coffee has caffeine in it because “I can see it in there!”

This goes on and on and on throughout the whole meal, which takes them over three hours to eat. Apparently, their food sucks, and our service is horrible. I wait on the whole table myself by taking each of their orders, but two other staffers help bring out their food, get drink refills, etc. Positively NOTHING they complain about is legitimate in any way whatsoever.

My uncle is kept informed, and he speaks to them numerous times to codify them to virtually no avail; the complaints continue. My uncle takes me aside at one point and tells me that this jerk is just trying to get their whole check comped, which he is not going to do. Other customers have even asked me what’s going on because they’ve seen nothing worth complaining about, but they’ve certainly seen what an entitled jerk this guy is being.

Their final bill is nearly $900, mostly steaks, seafood, and shellfish, all our more expensive menus items. Given their rudeness to him and particularly to me, my uncle absolutely refuses to give in to any of their demands. He even tells them that we’ve made every effort to appease them only to be met with rude, selfish behavior over things that are clearly a non-issue. He outright tells them he is not comping anything on their bill.

Finally, they leave and pay the bill in full. As he writes on the check “to make a point,” the guy leaves only a 5% tip because of my “horrid, inattentive” service. He doesn’t want to leave no tip, as he doesn’t want me to think he just forgot, but he wants to be certain I know “exactly why” I am not getting my full tip.

However, he didn’t notice that for parties of six or more, we add a mandatory 18% tip, and for parties of ten or more, 20%, which is what was added to his bill. So, I actually end up with a 25% tip! Not bad for serving a table full of self-absorbed a**holes!

This guy leaves us a scathing review online. My uncle responds by posting point-by-point every rude thing he said and his contemptible behavior and pointing out that his food and service had been exemplary. If any doubt his word, just check his other reviews. “Oh, and by the way, I have security footage to prove all of this!”

To their credit, several customers who were there that night and had witnessed what this jerk said and did left wonderful reviews for us and even mentioned my uncle and me specifically. Most of them called out the rude behavior of this guy and his family.  

My uncle told me that if they ever returned, he was going to refuse them service. As far as I know, they never came back, at least not during the two subsequent years I worked for my uncle. I love my uncle, but I’m so glad to now be out of the service job environment and into an office setting!